KEL'S VERY LUCKY HER DAD IS FAMOUS...

Bless her! This thing wouldn't have had much of a chance in the fashion industry (let alone any) if her daddy wasn't Ozzy. Does anyone dare argue with us? Sorry but if you're gonna judge our appearance and what we're wearing then you better not be fucking Kelly Osbourne of all tubby people. We don't know what's going on with this fuck off beehive hair style, orange tan and double chin but this bitch ain't chic or fashionable. Such a joke that E! even thought of this to co-host Fashion Police. Can you say family connections much?

[Image via GETTY]

ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE XTINA?

Okay so we know we're showing Xtina major love at the moment but talk about wowza! Bitch wasn't messing around during a recent photo call to promote the new season of The Voice and we're kinda shocked to be honest cause we never actually thought she'd put down the fries. Christina Aguilera was papped walking the red carpet with her fellow judges to announce the new season which kicks off in September and lady literally looked like a shadow of her former self. We can't get over those razor sharp cheekbones and that itty bitty waist. Seriously stay on the diet cause it's paying off Xtina. We are however slightly concerned that she's only 5'1'' yet Cee Lo Green (who's a man) doesn't seem that much taller.

[Image via NBC]

DOES LILO LIVE NEAR A BEE FARM PERHAPS?

Oh honey, what have you done to yourself now? On top of the fact that Lindsay Lohan has got another new (and shit) movie coming out, bitch ain't looking too hot in the newly released trailer. The actress is seen in her new flick The Canyons opposite porn star James Deen (no joke) and she literally looks like she's about 38 as opposed to 20 fucking 5. We just can't deal with the trout pout, bloated face and double chin any longer, cause this bitch needs to get outta rehab pronto and get her shit together.

[Image via IFC]

THIS SHIT HAS TOTES GIVEN US THE FEAR!

It's no one wonder Lily Allen's career has gone down the toilet, cause it looks like the bitch has fucking eaten it along with tons of other shit. The crappy singer was papped walking (struggling too bless her) at the recent Glastonbury festival and we reckon she'd have faired better in a wheelchair. We know she's always been a bit on the porky side and had dumpy legs, but she clearly took "eating for two" way too literally. Don't fool us with those shoes either cause the only running you do is to the fridge and back.

[Image via BARCROFT]

WHEN REUNIONS GO TERRIBLY WRONG

Now we always thought that it was a mandatory rule to look shit hot when you attend a reunion, but we guess if you're Mara Wilson you either don't go or prepare yourself for the shit throwing. We won't hate on her too much cause we loved her and Amanda Thripp (on the left) in Matilda, but fuck they look like a right pair of frigid virgin losers. Even the thing in the middle ain't a looker, but Mara wins down with that fuck off mouth. Love you Mara!

[Image via MARA WILSON]

AIN'T THIS BITCH THE EPITOME OF CLASS?

The world knows the above woman simply as "tanning mom" aka Patricia Krentcil, however all we see is a tired old slapper who sucks cock to pay the lecky bill. We don't even get how this skank gets invited to events, but lady put on her best clobber (cheap shite) and worked the red carpet looking like the corpse version of Pam Anderson with the clap. Didn't she think to look in the mirror before she leaves her gaff too? Body-con dresses just don't work when you've got saggy tits and a muffin top and we gotta say that ankle tatt finishes off this look to perfection. Wouldn't you be proud if this was your mom?

[Image via GETTY]

EVEN VAMPIRES CAN'T ESCAPE AGING...

You know there's no God when even the beloved Spike from Buffy ages so badly he looks like a coke addict living in welfare. James Marsters has struggled to find a job since leaving the popular TV show, but was recently snapped at his local market in LA and let's just say he's looked better. Word on the street is that he was left so embarrassed when he was unable to pay for his goods (due to maybe an expensive addiction) that he offered to act out a scene from Buffy as a method of payment. That was of course a complete lie, but didn't it give you a fun image?

Image via WARNER BROS/FLYNET]

GOOD LORD YOU SURE AIN'T BEAUTIFUL!

Holy shit balls, Mimi is one hell of a yo-yo dieter that's for sure! Mariah Carey was snapped leaving a TV studio in NYC this past week and it looked totally different from her latest music video featuring fellow singer Miguel. Gone was the flowing shiny hair, hot body and skimpy outfits and in it's place was a frumpy fat average mom (we know we'll get hate for that but fuck it) with a bad 80s perm. We literally don't get how this bitch can go from looking so hot to a complete mess who needs to go back in the time machine.

[Image via X17]

WHAT THE FUCK DID JUDE SEE IN THIS MESS?

It's kinda hard to believe that in her early days Sadie Frost was a model who earned thousands per day cause just the other day it stepped out and looked like a dog that'd been raped and cummed on to say the least. The gold diggin' slapper was papped at the launch for some new shitty kitchen range she'd designed and the poor bitch looked like a tired drag queen. We really can't imagine Jude giving this bitch one cause let's face it, she's plain as fuck and looks rough as arse holes. Granted she's probably a great mother to all her kids (who have different fathers) but pretty woman she ain't.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WHY THE FUCK DOES KIMMY WEAR WIGS?

Holy shit is what we thought when we first clapped eyes on this pic of Kim Zolciak. Now we ain't her biggest fan cause let's face it; she's a trashy and talentless hick who looks like a drag queen. That is until she ditched the fake tan, wigs and clown make-up, cause judging by her latest Twitter snap lady is looking mighty fine. Now we know it totally goes against the rules of The Sizzling Mess to be nice to celebs (even to Xtina), but there ain't no denying that Kim looks pretty stunning in the right pic, albeit in the Anna Nicole Smith (non-corpse) porn star kinda way. Still though bitch looks beautiful and should keep it au naturel by rockin' her own fabulous hair more often. Remember that less is always more honey!

[Image via SPLASH/TWITTER]

SHE WAS BORN TO MAKE Y'ALL CRINGE!

Uh huh, we're thinking the same thing as you guys. How did Britney Spears fall from grace and become such a fucking hot mess? Now that Xtina is getting her weight issues together it seems Britters has once again fallen off the diet wagon and while it ain't fat she sure as hell ain't as hot compared to her early days. The pop star was snapped rehearsing an upcoming special performance to promote the new Smurfs 2 movie which she recorded a shit song for and her outfit was tacky as fuck. Can someone please tell us why the stylist thought it would be a good idea to put her her in a bra, denim mini-skirt and white patent leather boots? This look just screams cheap hooker and lady is too old and chubby to pull it off anymore.

[Image via TMZ]

WHEN HARRY MET A VERY BOTOXED SALLY

Oh honey what have you done to your face? Meg Ryan was never the biggest looker and we've always thought she kinda looked like the Joker from Batman with a pussy, but when the actress was papped recently at a film festival in Italy she looked like a human fucking candle. The clown smile, trout pout, puffy cheeks and waxy appearance ain't a good look and this bitch either needs to tone it down or change her surgeon cause they're not worth the money. What the fuck would Harry say if he saw this shit?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

UGLY CHICKS LIVE ON STARSHIPS

Nicki Minaj probably uploaded the above snap to her Twitter thinking she looked like hot shit, but in reality it just further highlighted how much of an ugly chick she is. The ghetto skank rapper appeared to be trying on wedding dresses a' la cheap style, but who the hell would put a ring on this shit? We don't mind a few of her tunes and these fake ass titties, but she looks more like a malnourished Malaysian boy playing dress up than a superstar. Wonder if she's packin' under that fuck off wig too?

[Image via TWITTER]

SHANNEN DEF NEEDS THE BOOK OF SHADOWS

We gotta admit that Prue was our favorite witch on Charmed back in the day, but we kinda imagined that she would've aged a little better than this shit. Shannen Doherty who used to portray the witch with bitch attitude was seen at a recent event in LA and lady has aged so badly it makes us sad. Everything from the 80s barnet to the deep crows feet look horrendous, but more importantly what's going on with her nasty horse teeth? Screw personal gain, we think an age reversal spell is needed here.

[Image via WIRE]

WE JUST WANNA FEEL THIS WEIGHT MOMENT!

Praise the Lord! The current Christina Aguilera weight loss crush continues people and lady is looking even better than ever. While it's not back to her skinny Burlesque days, she's definitely shed the pounds off those evil thighs and that ass is looking a little trimmer too. Only thing that looks odd is how far down her tits are in comparison to her overall body and how big is that bra? Melons much Xtina!

[Image via NBC]

MAYBE SYLVESTER WAS A TRAVELLER?

Oh dear honey. Jackie Stallone has long been a fan of the surgeon's knife, but bitch has taken it way too far if the above snap is anything to go by. Even though Rocky's mom is 91 years old, she looks more like a dirty gypsy corpse than a human being if you ask us. What's up with that nasty scouse brow and where have her fucking eyes gone?

[Image via COLEMAN RAYNER]

WHO KNEW THIS BITCH COULD GET LOWER?

Just when ya thought that Katie Price had stooped to her lowest to shift copies of yet another shite book, the skank ho bitch put on some panto clobber with her new gold diggin' fuck buddy at her latest launch and the woman looked a fucking mess. What we'd love to know is who buys the shit she keeps putting out? Surely anyone that can actually read above 3 year old level doesn't care about this slut?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WE CAN'T STOP...HATIN' ON THIS FOLLOWER

For some reason we've never liked Miley Cyrus cause she looks like a cunt who'd deck you in the school cafeteria for giving her the wrong look. Anyway the singer who achieved fame through her hick daddy was snapped working the red carpet at a promo event for her new album in LA recently and the woman looked a fool. The hair was all wrong and does she think she's black now with that grill? Someone needs to tell the bitch that the rock chick look she's sporting doesn't work when you're from a family who plucks chickens for dinner. We can't tell whether she's a young star in Hollywood or a dyke from Norway who owns a tattoo parlor, but what we do know is that it's trying way too hard and looks lame.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

THE POOR KID DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE

No we don't mean that cause Cynthia Nixon likes to munch on carpet, but because of the way the bitch looks. Don't get it twisted cause we love us some Miranda but lately the actress has totally let herself go and is often seen wandering the streets of NYC looking a total dyke mess. On this occasion however she left her Home Depot overalls in the closet and threw on a dress and some wedges (the horror) and she didn't look all that bad. The poor bitch did look dog rough though as she pushed her carrot top kid around in a stroller whilst shopping for a new drill. We miss the androgynous wardrobe Miranda used to sport!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

YOU KNOW JUDY CRIED WHEN THIS CAME OUT

To this day we still don't get why Liza Minnelli is considered a legend (or fag icon) cause the bitch can't hold a note to save her fucking life. The overpaid fag hag was papped at the Tony Awards (shocker) in NYC recently and it looked like a gay Bilbo Baggins covered in glitter. The old broad seemed to have had more plastic surgery since the last time we saw her too, but we don't get why she'd make her already fucked up face look worse?

[Image via WENN]

HOW'S YOUR "CLOTHING LINE" GOING HONEY?

Now we've never seen the big deal with this bitch cause even though she's got a nice set of pins and we'd happily give her one, it really ain't all that underneath the cake mix. Whitney Port aka the boring slut from MTV's The City was papped getting a massage in LA recently and the poor thing looked rough as fuck. Aside from her usual down-syndrome eyes, it looked like she'd had a run-in with Chris Brown and we don't even know what's going on with the tongue. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid as to turn down advice from fellow reality star Olivia Palermo she'd look a lot better.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

LEAVE THIS ONE OUT THE PICK N MIX PLEASE

Jesy Nelson from that totally shit band Little Mix (twats) really ain't a looker is she? The former X Factor contestant was papped leaving her gaff in London and it looked a total lesbo mess. It seems this bitch can't do anything cause no matter what she wears it looks like she eats pussy and not in the cool Madonna way. On this occasion she left her tool belt at home and sported knee high socks (vom on these chipolata thighs), a perm even Mariah would've judged and no pants. That's right, she thinks she's hot enough to go without pants but her mirror is def talking shit behind her back.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

SPONGE BOB WAS ALWAYS A DIRTY GAY

We gotta admit that Tom Daley is TOTES one of our many illegal crushes (we feel like pedos) and it seems even Sponge Bob can't keep his animated hands (and tongue) off his hot torso. What we wouldn't give to be the pool this thing dives in...preferably minus the Speedos.

[Image via NICKELODEON/GETTY]

WHEN IS THIS BITCH GONNA STAY INDOORS?

Poor old Natalie Cassidy never learns that whenever she steps out people are gonna hate on that mug. The broke actress was papped on a run (no joke) around London the other day and it looked rough as arse holes while pacing the pavement. Sporting her usual downs appearance complete with no make-up and rank Scouse brows it looked a right mess. We can't wait for the follow up fitness DVD cause it'll be a right laugh.

[Image via DRAPER]

THE ICA WOMAN LIKES TO EATA PASTA!

Who'd have thought that the sexy slut in Basic Instinct would one day look like a haggard old slapper hanging out with tacky has-been designer Roberto Cavalli? Sharon Stone that's who people! The actress (pushing it) was seen aboard the Cavalli yacht in Cannes recently and poor bitch looked like a gay bat in that leopard print concoction. We can tell that Cavalli's missus looked bored too and we're guessing she was thinking of what to put in the lasagne for that nights dinner.

[Image via XPOSURE]

HOW IS GOD REAL IF THIS SHIT HAPPENS?

Do y'all remember watching Tarzan and paying more attention to Brendan Fraser's rock hard abs (bulge) than the shit storyline? Well fast forward almost 15 years and this is what it's become...chubby, pasty and oh so NOT hot. Such a shame when hoy guys let go of themselves cause how else are they going to gain respect in the world without their killer looks? Anyhow aside from the thinning hair, muggs (man juggs), beer belly and Muppet-like face, we'll give him credit for at least covering up cause  that torso without coverage would be a sight for sore eyes. Oh and is it just us or does he look like he enjoys gay kiddy porn?

[Image via WARNER BROS/WENN]

BITCH LOOKS LIKE A SCIENCE PROJECT

What the fuck does Madonna keep doing to her ever changing face? The slutty Queen of Pop (maybe 20 years ago) was seen at the recent Chime For Change concert in London and looked like a puffy OAP whilst stood at the microphone. We know the bitch is forever on the move what with her erm career, work-outs and plucking Lourdes' fuck off eyebrows (and no doubt bush), but you think she'd of at least touched up her roots no? Oh and nice touch trying to fool yourself your young by wearing gloves, but you're a coffin dodger honey just learn to deal with it already.

[Image via GOFF]

AIN'T NO STREET CRED TO LOSE BUT STILL...

How embarrassing to be a former basketball player and then leave ya gaff looking like an ugly tranny who's proud. Well that seemed to be what was going through Dennis Rodman's mind the other day. The sports star was seen walking the red carpet at The Apprentice premiere in NYC and boy did he look a fool. The mohawk, clown slap and crazy ass outfit did him no justice (not much could) and let's just call a spade a spade...he looked a total utter douche and didn't represent for his fellow "brothers". We predict he'll come out his make-up filled closet very soon so watch this space.

[Image via FLYNET]

GIVE YOUR MAKE-UP ARTIST A RAISE!

Katherine Heigl always looks DOG rough without the slap and this has been proven with multiple blog posts on the munter. While we have no real problem with her we just can't believe how fucking awful it looks au naturel. The actress was recently seen leaving her local gym and boy was it a scary sight...unrecognizable would be a fucking understatement. The poor thing looked like a malnourished coke whore with acne and not in the good Kate Moss way. Bad times for Kath ennit.

[Image via FLYNET]

YOU CAN'T HAVE BRAINS AND BEAUTY

Oh dear honey, are you prepping for another Mummy role or do you just look this butters minus the slap? Rachel Weisz was seen shopping in LA over the weekend and although the actress always looks cock ready on the red carpet, she looked more like a fugly Jew troll on this occasion. Weird looking thing though ain't it? We also noticed how creepily skinny her ankle is too...and this bagged Daniel Craig?

[Image via SPLASH]

PIGS ARE DIGGIN' MAGALUF THIS YEAR...

At least it's half covered up right? Gemma Collins aka the walking walrus from Essex was papped on vacay with her fellow dumb ass buddies in the culture filled island of Magaluf and once again it looked like a stick of butter playing dress-up. The reality TV fatty was seen walking (yes walking) around her resort and according to a source people fell off their sun beds due to the mini earthquake-like sensation. Oh the embarrassment to cause such situations huh? We can't even imagine how sweaty this bitch's muff must of got from being abroad. Ya major fucking ew.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHERE'S AMANDA? ERM GOING TO JAIL!

We knew this shit was gonna go down since day one. Amanda Bynes was finally arrested the other day after throwing a bong out of her 32nd floor apartment window. The actress who's having a Britney moment x10 was papped in court complete with her crazy ass wig and looked like a total nutter. We do feel for the gal cause she's clearly not okay and although this shit makes amazing news we hope she gets help and fast.

[Image via SPLASH]

YOU WOULDN'T WANT THIS TO FART NEAR YOU

Lena Dunham aka the annoying feminist dyke from HBO's Girls has got one hell of a nasty physique and although some readers think we hate on people cause we hate ourselves we don't care...these thighs are making us gag. Sorry but if you're morbidly obese from the neck down you shouldn't wear denim shorts and strut around Manhattan thinking you're hot. We kinda like the show but both this bitch and her character can get kinda annoying.

[Image via JOSE PEREZ]

WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO NEO?

Holy shit balls guys! Keanu Reeves was spotted at the Cannes Film Festival the other day and he looked a world away from his Matrix days. The actor has since become somewhat of a recluse and no wonder with the amount of weight it's piled on in hiding. The tits, belly and double chin ain't a good look on him but at least he's not bald.

[Image via SPLASH]

BITCH HAS KNOCKED IT OUT THE PARK!

Sorry if you hate Xtina but we simply can't ignore how good lady is looking lately. Christina Aguilera was seen rocking the stage at the Billboard Music Awards in Vegas last weekend and bitch has dropped some serious pounds. The singer and judge on The Voice will hopefully keep it up cause we'd hate to put her back in our top 10...or would we?

[Image via AP]

HORSES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN THIS

What the fuck has this bitch done to her face? Chloe Sims from that crazy culture filled show TOWIE was seen exiting a night club in Essex (shocker) and it looked truly horrendous for her age. The actual horse teeth and orange skin would make most people run in fear, but we just don't understand why she wanted to make herself this fugly? We pity the guys she gives head to cause it can't be pretty.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

BABY YOU AIN'T NO FIREWORK IN THIS

For some reason Katy Perry can either look shit hot or truly butters and unfortunately she's hit the latter with this look. The singer (if lip syncing counts) was seen at an art exhibition in NYC recently and it looked more like a tranny gypsy than international pop star. The heinous dress, shoes and hair contribute to the overall nasty Romany look and it ain't a winner.

[Image via SPLASH]

COUSIN ITT WOULD TOTES MARRY THIS

We've always thought that Bruce Jenner had that "I bookmark a shit load of kiddy porn" look about him and this recent photo just confirms our suspicion. The reality TV star was trying to surf with his hot son Brody, but just looked pathetic and to be quite honest scary as fuck. The creepy hair (wig) and moobs ain't helping this look much either. What's going on with those weirdly wide feet too?

[Image via SPLASH]

POSH WILL ALWAYS BE A DIRTY WAG AT HEART

People seem to think that Victoria Beckham has always been chic, but if you literally go back about 5 years you can see that she was cheap as fuck. The WAG turned fashion designer can be seen at The Prince's Trust event back in 2005 and boy did it look cheap. The birds nest extensions, orange tan, tacky accessories, slutty gown and French manicure (quiver) is a world away from her current look. It just goes to show how much styles can change! Wonder what happened to natural DD tits too?

[Image via WENN]

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL...DON'T VOMIT!

Oh dear honey. Jocelyn Wildensein seems to have had some more procedures done if this photo is anything to go by. The bored rich bitch was seen arriving at a charity gala in NYC recently and apparently some kids even screamed and said they thought cats had two legs. Ouch that's gotta hurt Jossy but what'd you expect when you look like a fucking extra from The Lion King? Those eyes and lips are truly horrendous and her surgeon def needs to have his license revoked cause this is now way beyond a total joke.

[Image via FLYNET]

YOUR BODY AIN'T ON FIRE GIRLFRIEND!

Alicia Keys recently kick started her world tour and boy oh boy can the stage feel it every night judging by the above snap. The hit maker who screams rather than sings was seen wearing sprayed on skinny jeans (great look when you're obese) and t-bar heels...huge no no! The top was okay but fucking weird and we never realized how much ass and hip this bitch packs. Just sayin'.

[Image via GSI]

THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOU...NOT WITH YOU

Yeah you took the words right out of our mind...what the fuck is that? Well if you're familiar with Spanish royalty (paella and shit) then you'll know that this is the wonderfully stunning Duchess of Alba aka an embalmed dog. The rich munter was papped dancing the night away at a charity event with her husband (yes he actually married that) and boy did it look a mess. Now we get that she's old and bla bla bla, but people really shouldn't have to look at this thing.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

HOW DOES THIS BITCH WORK IN FASHION?

We literally have no idea how Anna Dello Russo landed the job as an editor for Vogue cause the bitch is so fugly she actually offends our face. The fashion victim was seen in NYC recently and it appeared to be wearing a piece from every collection all at once. Mmm aren't fashion editors supposed to edit every aspect of their lives? It's a total plastic surgery train wreck and those fucking shoes look ridiculous.

[Image via GETTY]

EVEN WE DON'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT XTINA!

Okay so hell must've just frozen over cause Christina Aguilera was seen out again (yes again) looking totes amaze balls! The talented coach of The Voice was seen out shopping in West Hollywood with that guy who's living off her (Matt something) and bitch looked pretty damn good. The whale thighs are slowly shrinking and according to sources she's now able to paint her own toe nails for the first time in years...hoorah! All jokes aside though, lady is getting her shit together and buying clothes in the right size and we'd like to think it's cause she reads The Sizzling Mess.

[Image via XPOSURE]

MRS. DOUBTFIRE LOOKED BETTER THAN THIS

Sally Field is known by all for her bitch ex-wife role in the smash hit Mrs. Doubtfire, but right now she's just making headlines for looking like a dog bless her. After losing out on an Oscar earlier this year (fuck you Anne you can't act), she seems to have neglected her beauty regime as it was seen looking mighty rough on the streets of LA recently. To be honest it's pretty much near impossible to even recognize that this is Sally herself. With a bit of work done (especially round the neck area) she'd be good as new.

[Image via X17]

MAMA JUNE DEF OWNS A MAGIC MIRROR...

You can't help but love Mama June (aka hick whale) from Honey Boo Boo, cause no matter how fucking obese it becomes she still rocks any mess of a look with no apology. The reality TV star was papped at her own wedding (low) and the above snap shows it posing for the press in her luxurious living room scattered with her kid's pageant trophies. It must truly suck to be fat and poor, but we still love you June cause you make us feel so much better about ourselves!

[Image via SPLASH]

WE'RE HOPING NOMI WOULD STILL BE HOT

Surely you all remember that fabulous Oscar worthy movie Showgirls starring sexy slut Elizabeth Berkley from Saved By The Bell? Well if you don't you're not very cultured cause it's definitely a movie that intellects rave about. Anyway in the movie Liz portrays this whore of a stripper called Nomi and as you can see she'd have given a dog a boner, but fast forward to 2013 and things ain't looking so pretty. The days the poor bird doesn't get much work, which is probably cause it's bordering on tubby to say the least and we get that she represents the "average woman of today" but we simply don't care. Now she doesn't look THAT bad, but it sadly resembles any other chubby new mom who's too lazy to shift the baby weight and we want to look at unattainable and unrealistic. We don't think this is too much to ask of celebrity mothers, but at least this proves that kids are the root of all weight gain (evil) yet again.

[Image via MGM/SPLASH]

WE WONDER IF ANTONIO STILL PORKS THIS?

Oh dear what have you done to yourself honey? Hollywood actress (senior citizen) Melanie Griffith left her gaff the other day and it's blatantly clear that she's still refusing to accept the fact that she's not 25 anymore. The over the hill star has long been a fan of the surgeon's knife, but if a surgeon butchered out lips and gave us filler like this they'd get a fuck off massive lawsuit on their hands. Why oh why do you keep doing this to yourself Mel?

[Image via SPLASH]

THE AWARD FOR UGLIEST COUPLE GOES TO...

Beth Ditto is kinda cool in the way that she really doesn't give a shit about fashion or having a healthy heart, but on the other hand she's just an obese pig. The lead singer of Gossip was seen attending some shit event with an Asian queen for a date and the pair of them looked truly butters. If you look too closely it looks like he's gonna eat you and we don't understand why Valentino agreed to dress Beth unless she paid for the shoes herself. Is it just us or do you think Jessie J would look like this if she was obese too?

[Image via GOFF]