DREAM LOVER HAS BECOME CAKE LOVER...

We honestly don't get what goes on in the kitchen of singer turned beast Mariah Carey these days. The high note songstress was papped leaving her apartment in NYC yesterday and judging by her fat ass cheeks it looked as though she'd been back on the pies again. Seriously did someone just inflate her head cause it looks fucking huge? At least she kept her massive tits and thighs hidden cause we know MC loves dressing like a whore, although it doesn't work when your body resembles the frame of a pig honey. Just pick a side like Nicole Richie and Kirstie Alley have and stay there!

[Image via AKM/GSI]

WTF IS GOING ON WITH MISS SPEARS Y'ALL?

Before we start the hate we wanna say that we do genuinely like Britney Spears cause even though the bitch ain't talented, she's always been a grafter and had that likable appeal. The pop star was papped grabbing lunch in Las Vegas recently during rehearsals for her new show and as always something just looked off about her. Britters looks so much older than her 32 years and lately looks like a barmaid in her 40s who's had too much cock. Furthermore the accelerated aging process that she seems to be enduring won't do her career any favors, but let's face it that's headed for the toilet anyway. On a more positive note at least she's having salad and juice for lunch and not a fucking Frappuccino.

[Image via BROAD]

IF SHE CAN MAKE IT THERE...ANYONE CAN!

Liza Minnelli really does prove that even the most butters bitch on the planet can achieve worldwide fame and even though you may be laughed at for being so hilariously campish and ugly, who gives a fuck when you're worth in excess of $50 million right? The iconic fag hag was snapped performing in her best at a charity event in NYC the other day and the poor thing looked like a tranny clown with a gammy eye to say the least. Now we get that dressing like you're from the 60s can be cool if you're young, hip and cute, but when you're an munter who limps cause you've got a dodgy hip...it ain't so great. On the other hand we love us some Liza cause the bitch is totes cray!

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

GRAMMY FOR THE MOST UNRECOGNIZABLE...?

Seriously what the ACTUAL fuck Madonna? What in God's name have you done to your face and bitch would you please just ditch the grille already cause it ain't even cool to copy Hannah Montana with an STD...that's right you know who. The alleged queen of pop was snapped walking the red carpet at the annual Grammy awards...with a cane can we add, but we're told she only needs to do this when it's damp cause it makes her dodgy hip play up. Anyhow fellow gay icon and singer Cyndi Lauper presented an award at the show and looked equally strange to be honest. Both of their faces are puffed up and bloated beyond recognition and we just don't understand how they think this looks good. Such a shame when you know you're career is slipping like quick sand and you can't do a thing to stop it cause you ain't relevant. Bad times for Madge and Cyndi ennit.

[Images via AP]

THEY'RE GONNA RULE THE RETIREMENT HOME!

Holy moly talk about going back in time people! In case you're still like who the fuck are these bitches, we can confirm that they are in fact the original Pink Ladies from the totes hilarious movie Grease. To be honest they don't look too bad, but Stockard Channing was just born a butters bitch so she had no chance bless her. We can't quite understand why Jan (top left) looks so fucking old though? At least Marty (bottom left) doesn't look like a whore anymore, but does Frenchie (bottom right) look better with or without those fuck off drag queen wigs?

[Image via IMDB/WIRE/REX FEATURES]

ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE XTINA?

Okay so we know we're showing Xtina major love at the moment but talk about wowza! Bitch wasn't messing around during a recent photo call to promote the new season of The Voice and we're kinda shocked to be honest cause we never actually thought she'd put down the fries. Christina Aguilera was papped walking the red carpet with her fellow judges to announce the new season which kicks off in September and lady literally looked like a shadow of her former self. We can't get over those razor sharp cheekbones and that itty bitty waist. Seriously stay on the diet cause it's paying off Xtina. We are however slightly concerned that she's only 5'1'' yet Cee Lo Green (who's a man) doesn't seem that much taller.

[Image via NBC]

WE JUST WANNA FEEL THIS WEIGHT MOMENT!

Praise the Lord! The current Christina Aguilera weight loss crush continues people and lady is looking even better than ever. While it's not back to her skinny Burlesque days, she's definitely shed the pounds off those evil thighs and that ass is looking a little trimmer too. Only thing that looks odd is how far down her tits are in comparison to her overall body and how big is that bra? Melons much Xtina!

[Image via NBC]

LOOKS LIKE PHOEBE NEEDS A WALKER

We know what you're thinking...when bad things happen to good people and in this case the culprit is that little fucker called time. Lisa Kudrow aka hippy slut Phoebe Buffay from iconic TV show Friends was snapped arriving at a charity event in LA recently and she looked like she'd definitely started living off her retirement account. To be honest, we can't fucking believe this and Jennifer Aniston are pretty much the same age. The greying hair, wrinkled complexion and turkey neck are making us think that the poor bitch needs some TLC and quick.

[Image via SPLASH]

KEEP UP THE CLEVER DRESSING XTINA

It's become pretty evident that Christina Aguilera isn't quite as obese as Adele, but it is clear that dressing appropriately for her body shape (so wearing a tent) can in fact do wonders. The super talented fag hag was snapped arriving at a Samsung event in LA this week and looked pretty bangin' if we're honest. We're really loving the fun throwback look to her Stripped days with the trucker cap and colorful hair and what d'ya know her legs don't resemble tree trunks. Keep whoever's been styling you lately cause you need them honey.

[Image via WIRE]

IT AIN'T LOOKING TOO HAPPY THESE DAYS

It's such a shame when a young actress ends up being a big ole mess with a trailer to call home, but sadly that seems to be the case for Happy Days actress Erin Moran who played slut Joanie Cunningham in the classic TV show. These days Erin can be found hanging around her local bar getting drunk and the above photo proves how bad things have gotten cause the poor bitch can't even afford a real Adidas tracksuit. Lindsay needs to take note of this and focus real hard.

[Image via ABC/X17]

PLEASE FIX YOUR HAIR MY BABY LOVE

Holy fuck balls! Diana Ross aka the only one people care about from The Supremes was papped leaving her local CVS in LA recently and boy did it look different. The diva bitch looked more like a ghetto mole than an iconic superstar (debatable) and we can only wonder how many drugs she's got hiding in that bag. We know it's nearly 70 years old but for God's sake honey at least make an effort before you leave your crib.

[Image via BARCROFT]

WONDER HOW HE'S BEEN DOIN'...?

Wow, time really is a bitch and the above pic of actor Matt Le Blanc aka Joey the pasta lovin' player from TV show FRIENDS just proves this point. The once stud-like actor appeared to have gained a bit flub and got fucking old whilst out shopping around LA recently. Is it just us or are Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox the only cast members who still look good?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

OVER THE HILL CHEERLEADER MUCH?

It must be kinda embarrassing to have your mom run around in tiny outfits looking like a desperate high school cheerleader, so we can honestly say that we fully empathize with Madonna's poor daughter Lourdes. The famous fag hag was seen performing in Italy recently and let's just say that all we can see from the above photo it desperate old slapper. Speaking of Lourdes, we wonder when Madge will get her eyebrows waxed?

[Image via REUTERS]

OUR CRYSTAL BALL PREDICTED THIS SHIT

If we're honest we feel a lot of embarrassment for not only Madonna, but her 50 adopted kids too. The singer (OAP) is currently touring around the world to support her latest record and she's already got her baps out here and there. What we wanna know is when will she get that's not a good look when you're mid-song and your hip breaks? Whatever goes through this bitch's head is beyond us, but we wouldn't be at all surprised if the above pic soon become a reality. Can't you just see her performing Hung Up in 20 years climbing the walls with a walker in tow?

[Image via LA BOOK BOY]

LEGEND OR OVERRATED HOT MESS?

Is it just us or is Liza Minnelli the DEFINITION of a hot fucking mess? We don't give a shit if she's some alleged "icon" cause we've watched numerous videos of her singing and her voice sounds like a cat getting gang raped. The fag hag has become rather reclusive since divorcing from her gay (oh come on) ex-husband David Gest in 2007, but she still manages to squeeze in a performance here and there for her adoring fans (gays). The above clip is from her performance of You Are Not Alone and we strongly believe that at this very moment in the video she was trying to fart through her eyes. Go watch it and just TRY to keep a straight face.

[Image via NBC]

HEART THROB TO PEDO?

Just in case you're like what the fuck, this post is in fact focused on Chris Klein and not the SHIT HOT Mena Suvari. Now while he doesn't look fugly or anything he sure has got OLD since American Pie first hit our screens back in the late 90s. In fact he looks more like an overworked stock broker who likes kiddy porn than a Hollywood heart throb. Such a shame cause he was pretty fine back in the day. Mena on the other hand can sit on our face whenever she likes.

[Image via GETTY]

SANDRA DEE WOULD BE INSULTED

What is with all these iconic (stretching it) actresses who keep pumping their faces full of fillers and other shit? Olivia Newton John was papped walking around Sydney and to be quite honest her face looked totally fucked. The star of Grease isn't getting up to much these days and after seeing this we're not surprised. The puffy face, trout pout and hooker eyebrows mixed with weird bumps and dents all over face just isn't a good look. Keepin' it natural is the way bitches.

[Image via GOFF]

TOO MUCH OF NOTHING = SIZE ZERO

Poor old Vicky B aka Victoria Beckham is looking proper tired these days ennit. The mum of (we think it's around 5 sprogs now) was snapped looking VERY chubby at a recent event in NYC wearing a STUNNING dress. Now we gotta say that Mrs Beckham looks great most of the time, but this outfit was just a total mess. The "natural" tan, protruding collar bone (fucking rank) and oily skin looked a right state. On a more positive note, we hear that Posh is apparently dressing lots of stars for the Oscars. We can just picture it...baby Harper sucking silicone from one of her tits, while she sits at her sewing machine banging out couture till the wee hours of morning. Ah she's such an inspiration!

[Image via WIRE]

IT AIN'T JUST YOUR NOSE LOVE

We could NOT believe it when we clapped eyes on this pic of DOG rough "icon" Barbra Streisand. The talented singer (pensioner that sings through her nose) was snapped walking to her local offy to get some fags and boy did it look evil. Her flat hair, nasty conk, crooked teeth and pin hole eyes are in major need of assistance. All we wanna ask is who let the dogs out? Such a fuckin' mess.

[Image via GETTY]

L'OREAL ARE FUCKING NUTS

Now we do love ourselves some Diane Keaton, but FUCK this bitch looks evil without the red carpet treatment (3 inches of slap). The face of L'Oreal anti-ageing products (no we're not kidding) was pictured walking around the zoo in LA and we're gonna take a guess and say she was visiting a relative? Urgh it looked like a fucking corpse with piss stained teeth and this bitch is so wrinkly you could easily confuse her face for a map. We're all for "growing old gracefully", but Diane's taking the piss. Please just get yourself some fillers love and quick.

[Image via GETTY]