DID MISCHA EAT MARISSA OR SOMETHING?

Okay seriously Mischa Barton what the fuck happened to you? The actress who was once known for playing regulation hottie Marissa Cooper in The OC was seen grabbing lunch in LA the other day and she's totes piled on the pounds. Even her poor dog looked on with an expression of disgust as she clutched at her burger and Starbucks drink. You need to ditch the junk food, hire a trainer and stop eating cause otherwise you're headed for Kirstie Alley territory.

[Image via X17]

MONICA GELLER IS JUST A DISTANT MEMORY...

It makes us kinda said that Courteney Cox feels the need to do all this shit to her face cause she used to be so pretty. The former star of hit TV show Friends posted a pic to her Instagram account of her filming a new movie, so while that hair is most likely a wig those lips are very much hers (or not). It's like she's just been told her entire family died in an airplane crash and this is her expression of sadness. The frozen dead eyes and puffy fish lips are just awful and you'd think her "natural is the way" BFF Jennifer Aniston would at least say something.

[Image via INSTAGRAM]

DREAM LOVER HAS BECOME CAKE LOVER...

We honestly don't get what goes on in the kitchen of singer turned beast Mariah Carey these days. The high note songstress was papped leaving her apartment in NYC yesterday and judging by her fat ass cheeks it looked as though she'd been back on the pies again. Seriously did someone just inflate her head cause it looks fucking huge? At least she kept her massive tits and thighs hidden cause we know MC loves dressing like a whore, although it doesn't work when your body resembles the frame of a pig honey. Just pick a side like Nicole Richie and Kirstie Alley have and stay there!

[Image via AKM/GSI]

DOES POOR ANTONIO ACTUALLY FUCK THIS?

Whatever happened to the cute Melanie Griffith that graced out screens in Working Girl people? Nowadays the poor bitch looks more like a Beverly Hills science project than an aging actress and we don't get why she continues to screw with her face. Even a $4,000 Balenciaga jacket in goat leather can't save her from looking a freak show which is incredibly sad. Even money can't save this bitch no more so maybe she should do a Mia Farrow and become a weird "I am of the Earth" freak who adopts every kid she lays her eyes on.

[Image via GETTY]

MR GRAVITY EVEN HATES ON 60'S ICONS!

Twiggy used to be known for her waif like figure and big eyed appearance, but fast forward 40 ish years and you can see that we do in fact live in a cruel world. The former model was seen running errands around London and although we know she's not 20 anymore the woman looked rough. At least brush your hair and lift the chin up when you know there's paps around.

[Image via GETTY/FLYNET]

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS WOMAN 60 YEARS OLD?

Okay so we know that it's totally unfair to follow an Adele post with someone this hot, but y'all can't deny that Christie Brinkley is one smokin' hot bitch considering the woman is 60 years old! The supermodel was papped walking the pink carpet at an event for Barbie (she doesn't look THAT young) and lady was a force to be reckoned with. She flaunted her shit hot curves in a slinky Victoria Beckham number and we literally think she had the carpet sweating. Who in God's name is this woman's plastic surgeon?

[Image via GETTY]

MOTHERHOOD IS TREATING YOU WELL #LYING

Oh honey why've you let yourself turn into such a mess? We know Adele shat out a baby in the last year or whatever but it looks like she's still eating for 2 judging by the snap above. The singer was papped walking round London sans baby and looked rather special if you catch our drift. Maybe she'd recently had some dental work done cause her lips looked a little dodgy to say the least. We're not sure what she does these days besides eat and spend her royalties (rich bitch), but we hope some new music is in the works.

[Image via VANTAGE]

WTF IS GOING ON WITH MISS SPEARS Y'ALL?

Before we start the hate we wanna say that we do genuinely like Britney Spears cause even though the bitch ain't talented, she's always been a grafter and had that likable appeal. The pop star was papped grabbing lunch in Las Vegas recently during rehearsals for her new show and as always something just looked off about her. Britters looks so much older than her 32 years and lately looks like a barmaid in her 40s who's had too much cock. Furthermore the accelerated aging process that she seems to be enduring won't do her career any favors, but let's face it that's headed for the toilet anyway. On a more positive note at least she's having salad and juice for lunch and not a fucking Frappuccino.

[Image via BROAD]

ROMEO WOULDN'T DIE FOR THIS NO MORE

You gotta admit that Claire Danes ain't looking too hot these days...especially when you compare her to the Romero + Juliet days. The actress was seen on a run around NYC yesterday and it looked rough, old and haggard to say the least. We also never realized how mannish and plain she was without the slap and we're writing this shit cause we think it's world news that everyone needs to see. We're of course lol'ing at that but in all seriousness if you take anything we say on this blog seriously then you're a fucktard.

[Image via FLYNET]

EVEN ANNIE HALL WOULD THINK IT'S A MESS

There ain't enough words to describe how much love we have for Diane Keaton cause she's totes a ledge, but someone needs to tell the poor thing that dressing like Charlie Chaplan ain't cool when you're only 5 years away from being wheelchair bound. We know this bitch will always be quirky but it really didn't work when she was papped arriving at a Miley Cyrus concert (we just lost some respect for her) with her actress buddy Sarah Paulson aka the annoying witch who goes blind from American Horror Story. Anyhow we hope Diane had a good time and her ears didn't bleed too much, but next time please don't dress like an idiot.

VOICE OF AN ANGEL OR AVERAGE FARM GIRL?

Charlotte Church used to be kinda pretty back in her successful pop career days, but fast forward not even 10 years and what you see could easily be mistaken for an average looking farm girl en route to mucking out the pig troughs. The pissy gold hair, bloated face and tree trunk thighs is not exactly what you'd call a former pop star so we're not sure what's going on here? We know it shat out a kid but that was a while ago now so to be honest there ain't no excuse for looking like a overweight hippy who doesn't shower.

[Image via WENN]

MIRRORS MUST FUCKING HATE THIS FACE!

Jackie Stallone is one of those birds who we're not sure what they've done their whole life besides look fucking ugly. The mother of now irrelevant Sylvester was seen shopping in LA recently and even with a dab of slap it still looked horrific to say the least. Obviously this bitch has taken her plastic surgery addiction way too far, but it doesn't seem like she gives a shit. Who knows...maybe she likes looking like a corpse in drag?

[Image via COLEMAN-RAYNER]

ERM SO WAS KRIS THE HUSBAND OR THE WIFE?

Bruce Jenner has literally become a middle aged dyke or that's what he's looking like these days. The former husband of new money trash reality star Kris Jenner (mom of slut Kim K) was snapped leaving a plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills the other day after having his Adam's Apple shaved down...er what the fuck though right? We're not sure if it wants to be a chick cause we can spy some titties growing under his shirt there, but whatever anyway it's just creepy and we don't know what he is at all.

[Image via SPLASH]

CADY HERON ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE?

We genuinely miss the days when Lindsay Lohan didn't look like an alcoholic housewife from Orange County cause we just don't recognize the woman above. The actress was snapped attending some shitty fashion show in China a while back and boy did she look rough. The usual bloated face and trout pout lips made an appearance and we're not sure what's going on with the front part of her hair cause it looks like straw. Poor old LiLo needs to look in the mirror cause for 27 she looks weird and haggard.

[Image via REX]

THE POOR GIRL GETS FUGLIER BY THE DAY...

Oh man it really can't be easy when you're Tori Spelling cause the bitch truly is a dog bless her. The former 90210 actress was papped shopping in Beverly Hills with her dog and it didn't look good at all. It's kinda like Barbie got raped by Frankenstein and this was the product that came out...much to shock of the mother we can imagine. We're not sure what she does these days but Tori could definitely take advantage of the many plastic surgeons in the area cause it'd be money well spent. Just sayin'.

[Image via SPLASH]

LOIS LANE IS LOOKING ROUGH THESE DAYS

Teri Hatcher used to be pretty back in the day and even though she was on the verge of looking like a wax figure in Desperate Housewives, it seems the actress has totes let herself go in the looks department lately. The original Lois Lane (sorry but Amy Adams ain't got shit on this bitch) was snapped on a run around LA the other day and the woman looked rough as shite. Although she's managed to stay anorexic (huge applause and great role model) something just didn't look right cause she looked tired and gaunt. Get yourself a burger and fries honey!

[Image via X17]

BRITNEY IS BECOMING A REAL HOUSEWIFE

Holy shit balls! What the fuck has happened to Britney Spears lately people? The pop star was snapped attending the People's Choice Awards the other night and the woman looked truly horrific. We're obviously being a tad dramatic but her piss colored hair, spotty complexion, drag make-up and botoxed appearance made her look like a total freak show. Someone needs to introduce this woman to purple shampoo cause she's in desperate need! Britney literally looked like an extra from the Real Housewives and that's being nice.

[Image via GETTY]

MOMMIE DEAREST AIN'T LOOKING SO GOOD

To open the new year we found this corker of old Hollywood legend Faye Dunaway leaving her hotel in London a few days ago. The former actress had either got gang raped on New Year's Eve and done too much coke or simply just aged terribly. Her once razor sharp features have been replaced with tight looking skin covered in liver spots and what's going on with that mammoth ear? We also didn't know that 72 year old stars are now dressing like chavs.

[Image via GREG BRENNAN]

THE MISEDUCATION OF APPLYING MAKE-UP...

Seriously what the actual fuck love? Lauryn Hill seemed to wanna look like a butters clown while performing at a recent concert and boy did the bitch exceed. The singer who recently had a run-in with the IRS didn't look too happy to be back performing and sources say she's being forced cause of mounting debts. It's seems pretty low of her to get into debt when she was earning so much and not living an extravagant lifestyle, but maybe it was cosmetic surgery procedures to make her ugly or something?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!

Holy shit balls people! Christina Aguilera rocked up to this years AMA's looking shit hot compared to the disaster of a dress she turned up in last year. Initially we thought her overall look last year wasn't that bad, but after comparing it to this year she looked a total orange mess. The trampy singer scrubbed up damn well for the event and looked like she was revisiting her throwback glam look...let's just hope she keeps the weight off.

[Image via GETTY/SPLASH]