GIRL DON'T WANNA REMEMBER THIS MOMENT

Nicki Minaj basically personifies all things fake and over the top, but girl seriously needs to check her hairline before leaving the house cause she looked a mess during a recent personal appearance. The ghetto singer was papped doing promo for her shit perfume and looked like a drag queen being swallowed by a cheap wig. We kinda like the music she shits out but besides that it's pretty much a ghetto train wreck.

[Image via SPLASH]

BRITNEY IS BECOMING A REAL HOUSEWIFE

Holy shit balls! What the fuck has happened to Britney Spears lately people? The pop star was snapped attending the People's Choice Awards the other night and the woman looked truly horrific. We're obviously being a tad dramatic but her piss colored hair, spotty complexion, drag make-up and botoxed appearance made her look like a total freak show. Someone needs to introduce this woman to purple shampoo cause she's in desperate need! Britney literally looked like an extra from the Real Housewives and that's being nice.

[Image via GETTY]

CRUELLA WOULD TOTES NOT HIRE THIS

Looks like another hair and make-up queen has got it in for actress Joely Richardson cause lady was looking weird at a recent product launch in London. The sister of the bird who died in a skiing accident (very sad no BS) was papped walking the red carpet and her hair looked fucking rank to say the least. The woman's only in her late 40s but looks so much older with the dated attire and horrendous makeover. Better luck next time Joely!

[Image via CONTACT MUSIC]

SINCE WHEN DID DIANA HAVE A MULLET?

Following a pretty shit attempt to be Princess Diana in the new movie Diana (too creative), actress Naomi Watts graced the cover of In Style although something looks a little off. Wouldn't have something more classic looked better seeing as she's promoting a movie about a fucking princess? Also what's the with Scandinavian dyke hair and make up cause it looks nasty and don't suit Naomi at all. Now of course we always think we know best, but in this case bitch don't look hot. Just sayin'.

[Image via IN STYLE]

DID MARISSA PISS OFF CHRIS BROWN TOO?

Oh how we used to love Mischa Barton and her anorexic amazingness...until she started eating and became a beached whale. The former OC actress was snapped at a charity dinner in London recently and it looked like she'd either smeared shit over her eyes (make-up budget) or fucked off Chris Brown who we know likes to treat women with respect. Either way bitch didn't get the warpaint right at all, but we're hoping she'll start to eat less cause we totes prefer her skinny. Just sayin'.

[Image via COCO PEREZ]

BEING MURDERED IS BETTER THAN THIS!

Seriously what the fuck happened here love? Angela Lansbury is the LEGENDARY fierce bitch who portrays weird talking detective Jessica Fletcher in the classic TV show Murder, She Wrote but lady weren't looking so fierce the other night. The talented OAP was papped walking the red carpet at some charity event in NYC and although bitch is nearly 90, which is why we'll ignore those fuck off wrinkles, her make-up artist clearly wanted to show her up that night. What could of been an opportunity look shit hot turned into a disaster and Angie ended up looking like a clown in drag. Who knew Mrs. Potts could've been a dude?

[Image via GETTY]

WHY THE FUCK DOES KIMMY WEAR WIGS?

Holy shit is what we thought when we first clapped eyes on this pic of Kim Zolciak. Now we ain't her biggest fan cause let's face it; she's a trashy and talentless hick who looks like a drag queen. That is until she ditched the fake tan, wigs and clown make-up, cause judging by her latest Twitter snap lady is looking mighty fine. Now we know it totally goes against the rules of The Sizzling Mess to be nice to celebs (even to Xtina), but there ain't no denying that Kim looks pretty stunning in the right pic, albeit in the Anna Nicole Smith (non-corpse) porn star kinda way. Still though bitch looks beautiful and should keep it au naturel by rockin' her own fabulous hair more often. Remember that less is always more honey!

[Image via SPLASH/TWITTER]

AIN'T NO STREET CRED TO LOSE BUT STILL...

How embarrassing to be a former basketball player and then leave ya gaff looking like an ugly tranny who's proud. Well that seemed to be what was going through Dennis Rodman's mind the other day. The sports star was seen walking the red carpet at The Apprentice premiere in NYC and boy did he look a fool. The mohawk, clown slap and crazy ass outfit did him no justice (not much could) and let's just call a spade a spade...he looked a total utter douche and didn't represent for his fellow "brothers". We predict he'll come out his make-up filled closet very soon so watch this space.

[Image via FLYNET]

BABY YOU AIN'T NO FIREWORK IN THIS

For some reason Katy Perry can either look shit hot or truly butters and unfortunately she's hit the latter with this look. The singer (if lip syncing counts) was seen at an art exhibition in NYC recently and it looked more like a tranny gypsy than international pop star. The heinous dress, shoes and hair contribute to the overall nasty Romany look and it ain't a winner.

[Image via SPLASH]

LITTLE MIX NEEDS TO GET RID OF THIS SHIT

Even though the shitty British pop group Little Mix are pure crap, we feel that may fair better if they trim the fat aka literally kick out that fat bitch Jesy Nelson. The overweight drag queen lookalike was seen grabbing a late night snack with her band mates and it looked like a pig who had raided a Max Factor counter. Honey please just lose some fucking weight, lay off the make-up (and food) and go get a real job for someone who looks like you.

[Image via SPLASH]

BITCH LOOKS LIKE SHE'S FROM A STARSHIP

What the fuck does Nicki Minaj think she looks like is what we wanna know? The ghetto hit maker was papped doing an appearance at Macy's over the weekend and it looked like black deer caught in the headlights. We're not sure whether animals are living in her barnet, but her make-up is rivaling Katie Price and her nashers were looking fucking evil to say the least. In our dreams we're still waiting for the sing off between this bitch and Lil' Kim.

[Image via WENN]

GLAMOUR MAGAZINE SHOOTS TRANNIES NOW?

Although talented as fuck Dakota Fanning isn't really the best looking thing in the tool box, but she sure as hell didn't have the right team with her on this shoot for the latest issue of Glamour magazine. We're not sure what look they were going for here, but the poor bitch ended up looking like a downs clown aka Christina Aguilera. The gold curls, drag queen slap and cankles wouldn't make us pick up the issue, so we're guessing there are some blind gals out there that would wanna look like this thing.

[Image via GLAMOUR]

ALL BLACK ONLY WORKS IF YOU'RE NOT OBESE

Good old Lauren Goodger is a crafty bitch cause it thinks that by wearing black the whole world (well the south of England) will think she looks smaller. Yeah well you didn't fool us Miss Piggy and we hate to play up to our bully rep but this bitch really is a mess crying for help. The former reality star was seen walking around London at night and even the pavements were crying as they tried to withstand the weight. We also don't get why this thing doesn't own a mirror cause her face is saying Stevie Wonder, but her neck is making us think of Bjork so maybe she should rethink her make-up? Oh dear honey just admit that those thighs were not made for leggings and go buy a hammock.

[Image via FLYNET]

WILL IT GO MORE NATURAL IN 2013?

Why oh why does Katie Price think she looks good? It truly baffles us over at The Sizzling Mess and we'd be willing to bet that the bitch uses a magic mirror or something cause surely she can't think she looks hot. The former glamor model aka cheap tart who shags lads for a tenna was papped leaving her local offy after getting her ciggies and it looked like the fucking bride of Frankenstein...and that's being polite. The shaped eyebrows and false eyelashes remind us of slappers from the North and the lips are verging on animal territory. You just look like a big ole tranny mess love so sort ya life out.

[Image via ISO]

RINGING THE NEW YEAR WITH A CARTOON

For some reason Nicki Minaj always looks like a fucked up inflated cartoon in drag, but despite her unfortunate appearance we still love the catchy fluff she shits out that's called music. The fierce ghetto bitch was snapped walking the red carpet at the NYE party for Pure nightclub in Las Vegas the other night and we're pretty sure it's ass could second as a life raft. We wonder if she's used some of her hard earned $$$ and had a tit job too?

[Image via WENN]

NO DOUBT YOU'VE GOT ROUGH WITH AGE

Even though we think Gwen Stefani is eternally cool she certainly looked like she'd be dragged in by the dog the other day whilst running errands in LA. The retired pop star was seen doing the school run and even a full face of slap didn't save the poor bitch cause it looked dog rough and haggard. We ain't missing that fuck off huge "hormonal acne" zit on ya chin either honey.

[Image via X17]

WE HOLD THE HAIR AGAINST YOU HONEY

We're not too sure what happened in the hair and make-up room, but Britney Spears looked like she was hiding an entire family in her hair on The X Factor the other night. The now not so relevant pop star wore a clingy black number that didn't really do frame any favors (not that she's obese) and those t-bar shoes just cut her legs right off and made her look like a dwarf from Louisiana. Did anyone notice how fucking low her top was cut too? We know her stylist was going for glam, but we're getting more over the hill slut from this look. Just sayin'.

[Image via BRIDOW/COCO PEREZ]

USING A DYSON TO GET DRESSED ISN'T GOOD

Oh honey no! Poor old Lauren Goodger who got fired from TOWIE for being too fat was snapped out to dinner in Essex recently and her dress was crying at the seams. The human walrus appears to have an issue with buying clothing that actually fits her lard filled frame and this shit is making us shake our heads. The hair, make-up and excess flub just make her look like a total car crash of events and we'd be embarrassed to call this out girlfriend. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]

NOT EVEN ALL BLACK CAN SAVE THIS SHIT

Oh dear, when will Lauren Goodger learn that she's just a big ole fucking hot mess who should stay indoors? The overweight walking satsuma was papped leaving a restaurant (shocker) in London the other day and the color of it looked fucking toxic. We're guessing that the poor bitch's shoes must hate her too cause the weight on them must be fucking unbearable and what's with the sprayed on jeans honey? What's even more embarrassing is that Essex is probably proud to have some sort of link with this whale.

[Image via FLYNET]

ALL WE WANNA DO IS SEE YOU LOSE SOME!

In all honestly we feel bad for hating on Christina Aguilera (although it ain't gonna stop us) cause we like all the new music we've heard from her lately, but after seeing this shit above we couldn't resist cause we thought it was fucking genius. Xtina recently released her new album cover entitled Lotus and Da Vinci's cousin decided to make it more fun and erm honest. Let's cut the shit though cause "hips don't lie" and we all know that Chrissy loves her food a little too much, but all we think she needs is a better stylist or one that doesn't hate her. Some advice though...just lay off the donuts until after your album's been released honey.

[Image via RCA/FRISKY]