EVEN SHARKS WOULDN'T RAPE THIS MESS

One of the reasons that we love Tara Reid is that she's such a hot mess and still actually believes that she's hot and everyone wants to fuck her. The actress who now does shitty TV movies (let's face it American Pie was the height of her career) posted a pic to on Twitter of her splashing around on the beach in Malibu and boy did it look rough to say the least. The poor bitch has always just had that cheap and used look and of course the fuck off fake tits and anorexic frame don't help. We're guessing Californian chicks must age amazingly well with all that sun exposure and poor diet.

[Image via TWITTER]

DOES POOR ANTONIO ACTUALLY FUCK THIS?

Whatever happened to the cute Melanie Griffith that graced out screens in Working Girl people? Nowadays the poor bitch looks more like a Beverly Hills science project than an aging actress and we don't get why she continues to screw with her face. Even a $4,000 Balenciaga jacket in goat leather can't save her from looking a freak show which is incredibly sad. Even money can't save this bitch no more so maybe she should do a Mia Farrow and become a weird "I am of the Earth" freak who adopts every kid she lays her eyes on.

[Image via GETTY]

OH MANDY, WHAT'S BARRY DONE TO HIMSELF?

Barry Manilow has always had that high maintenance pedophile kinda look about him and it was no different the other day when it stepped out looking like a total freak of nature. The singer was seen running errands around Palm Springs and boy did he look odd to say the least. What we don't get is why he'd have all that plastic surgery and not get the fuck off massive Jew nose fixed? Even that ear lives in it's own zip code and those cheeks look suspiciously plump for a dude who's almost 70 years old. We think it's best when men go au naturel and this case is no different...oh and FYI Barry we know you're wearing a rug on your head.

[Image via SPLASH]

EVEN ANNIE HALL WOULD THINK IT'S A MESS

There ain't enough words to describe how much love we have for Diane Keaton cause she's totes a ledge, but someone needs to tell the poor thing that dressing like Charlie Chaplan ain't cool when you're only 5 years away from being wheelchair bound. We know this bitch will always be quirky but it really didn't work when she was papped arriving at a Miley Cyrus concert (we just lost some respect for her) with her actress buddy Sarah Paulson aka the annoying witch who goes blind from American Horror Story. Anyhow we hope Diane had a good time and her ears didn't bleed too much, but next time please don't dress like an idiot.

YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A WRECKING BALL

Oh dear that ain't a good shot is it honey? Miley Cyrus was sporting one fuck off nasty hairdo the other day while on a classy cig break around LA and boy did the bitch look retarded. The singer wasn't really rocking the bowl cut well and looked more like a boy in drag than a pop star. We just don't see the fuss with this one cause not only is she butters but her voice is shit too. Just sayin'.

[Image via SPLASH]

GRAMMY FOR THE MOST UNRECOGNIZABLE...?

Seriously what the ACTUAL fuck Madonna? What in God's name have you done to your face and bitch would you please just ditch the grille already cause it ain't even cool to copy Hannah Montana with an STD...that's right you know who. The alleged queen of pop was snapped walking the red carpet at the annual Grammy awards...with a cane can we add, but we're told she only needs to do this when it's damp cause it makes her dodgy hip play up. Anyhow fellow gay icon and singer Cyndi Lauper presented an award at the show and looked equally strange to be honest. Both of their faces are puffed up and bloated beyond recognition and we just don't understand how they think this looks good. Such a shame when you know you're career is slipping like quick sand and you can't do a thing to stop it cause you ain't relevant. Bad times for Madge and Cyndi ennit.

[Images via AP]

THIS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED AT SHOWS

Don't get us wrong, dressing cool and quirky can work but when you're as old and fugly as Anna Dello Russo it fails miserably. The editor of Vogue Japan was snapped arriving at the Balenciaga show in Paris earlier today and boy did the bitch look a fool. We just don't get how this is even "fashion cool" at 51 (and the rest) cause she looks a fucking state. The fake tan, skinny legs, hilarious get up and stoopid hat didn't do her any favors, but what do we know she's an editor right?

[Image via FLYNET]

YOU AIN'T 25 YEARS OLD ANYMORE HONEY

Seriously what the fuck does Madonna think she looks like? The singer was snapped vacaying in Italy recently and for some reason she thought it'd look cool to sport a grille like Rihanna. We would of referenced Miley but it doesn't work on that bitch either...another story in itself. Anyhow the past-it slapper appeared to have had a little more work done to her famous mug cause her cheeks were plumped up like hell and it's pretty much impossible for a 55 year old to be wrinkle free. It's a shame she's so irrelevant now, but maybe if she ditched the hooker look and went for something more age appropriate audiences would start to embrace her again?

[Image via AP]

WHEN HARRY MET A VERY BOTOXED SALLY

Oh honey what have you done to your face? Meg Ryan was never the biggest looker and we've always thought she kinda looked like the Joker from Batman with a pussy, but when the actress was papped recently at a film festival in Italy she looked like a human fucking candle. The clown smile, trout pout, puffy cheeks and waxy appearance ain't a good look and this bitch either needs to tone it down or change her surgeon cause they're not worth the money. What the fuck would Harry say if he saw this shit?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

BITCH LOOKS LIKE A SCIENCE PROJECT

What the fuck does Madonna keep doing to her ever changing face? The slutty Queen of Pop (maybe 20 years ago) was seen at the recent Chime For Change concert in London and looked like a puffy OAP whilst stood at the microphone. We know the bitch is forever on the move what with her erm career, work-outs and plucking Lourdes' fuck off eyebrows (and no doubt bush), but you think she'd of at least touched up her roots no? Oh and nice touch trying to fool yourself your young by wearing gloves, but you're a coffin dodger honey just learn to deal with it already.

[Image via GOFF]

WE WONDER IF ANTONIO STILL PORKS THIS?

Oh dear what have you done to yourself honey? Hollywood actress (senior citizen) Melanie Griffith left her gaff the other day and it's blatantly clear that she's still refusing to accept the fact that she's not 25 anymore. The over the hill star has long been a fan of the surgeon's knife, but if a surgeon butchered out lips and gave us filler like this they'd get a fuck off massive lawsuit on their hands. Why oh why do you keep doing this to yourself Mel?

[Image via SPLASH]

LISA WILL ALWAYS JUST BE A TV ACTRESS

Lisa Rinna is one of those actresses who will never migrate from TV and if she did it'd just be for a TV movie. The erm actress was papped leaving a gym in LA over the weekend and it looked like her lips had been stuck in a pool drain. On top of the trout pout her nips came out to play and were practically winking at the camera. Desperation has always been associated with this thing and we hope for her sake Days Of Our Lives doesn't get cancelled anytime soon.

[Image via FLYNET]

NICKI SHOULDN'T WORRY BOUT COMPETITION

Just what is going on up in the brain of Lil' Kim these days is what we'd love to know. The past-it ghetto singer was seen attending a charity event recently and it looked fucking horrendous compared to just a few years previous. We're not sure why she's rocking the crack whore bitch look cause it just don't suit her period. Not sure what the story is with those eyebrows or that Jackson family nose either honey, but you need to check yo self in the mirror and get it fixed.

[Image via GETTY]

CLEARLY IT GOT DRESSED IN THE DARK AGAIN

Oh dear honey. Poor old Lindsay Lohan just cannot catch a break when it comes to looking good lately, cause the former shit hot actress was seen boarding a flight at JFK and it looked like a ginga Miss Piggy gone wrong. It also appeared that she wanted to fuck PETA off by wearing a head to toe leather ensemble topped off with real fur. The double chin and lips are what really make this photo a classic though and we just don't understand PERIOD how bitch can think she looks good. We're anxious to see if LiLo gets thrown in the slammer so watch this space.

[Image via XPOSURE]

HOW WAS THIS A FRICKIN' MODEL PEOPLE?

This actually makes us kinda sad to see Janice Dickinson looking like she's left her retirement home for the afternoon to go play bridge with the girls, but no you're eyes ain't fooling you she really does look that fucking awful and may we stress old. The former model (shocker) was seen leaving her local market in Malibu and the bitch had either smuggled kids into the country or she'd had a fuck off nasty perm. To top it all off, the stretched skin and puffy lips just make her look even more desperate to stay young and it's really not hot. When will these LA dummies learn that less is more?

[Image via FLYNET]

DOES SHE THINK SHE'S FROM HACKNEY?

Miley Cyrus seems to be very confused lately as she's dressing like she's London trash from Hackney's east end, as opposed to the Ozark skank from hickville that she's so ashamed to actually be. The singer (if auto-tune counts) was papped strolling around LA on a shopping spree and it just looked a fucking state. We know it's young so she's trying out different styles and shit, but have you ever seen such a lame ass try hard in your life? Get your cowboy boots out of your closet Miley and embrace your southern (incestuous) background.

[Inage via X17]

OVER THE HILL CHEERLEADER MUCH?

It must be kinda embarrassing to have your mom run around in tiny outfits looking like a desperate high school cheerleader, so we can honestly say that we fully empathize with Madonna's poor daughter Lourdes. The famous fag hag was seen performing in Italy recently and let's just say that all we can see from the above photo it desperate old slapper. Speaking of Lourdes, we wonder when Madge will get her eyebrows waxed?

[Image via REUTERS]

WORLD'S MOST ANNOYING TELETUBBIE

For some reason Kelly Osbourne works as a fashion critic for E!'s Fashion Police and it just blows our mind that it even got hired in the first place. The foul mouthed former fattie was recently interviewed on UK show Daybreak and it just looked fucking weird. Kelly's hairdresser clearly hates her cause he sent her out sporting an ice cream cone like updo, which did absolutely no favors to flatter her already fuck off massive head. Granted she's looking the best she possibly can at the minute, but when we see her we feel like space is being wasted.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WE NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS SHIT

Fuck us hard and tell us this ain't the hilarious Kathy Griffin. Unfortunately for this poor bitch, she looks even worse minus the war paint and although we love her we just can't let this pic slide. Now this gal can just sit back and take it cause she's a cunt to everyone else, but not only is she fugly as hell but she looks dang scary in the above snap. The comedienne (insecure fag hag) was papped on a run around West Hollywood with her boyfriend (he's partially sighted) and it looked possessed to say the least. We swear to God we could actually eat our lunch off her forehead too.

[Image via FLYNET]

OUR CRYSTAL BALL PREDICTED THIS SHIT

If we're honest we feel a lot of embarrassment for not only Madonna, but her 50 adopted kids too. The singer (OAP) is currently touring around the world to support her latest record and she's already got her baps out here and there. What we wanna know is when will she get that's not a good look when you're mid-song and your hip breaks? Whatever goes through this bitch's head is beyond us, but we wouldn't be at all surprised if the above pic soon become a reality. Can't you just see her performing Hung Up in 20 years climbing the walls with a walker in tow?

[Image via LA BOOK BOY]