YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA BE COCO CHANEL!

Liza Minnelli gets a lot of heat from us but if you look like this then you're bound to be our favorite hot mess. The campy singer was seen attending a charity event in NYC the other night and judging by the above snap she was trying to channel Coco Chanel and failed miserably as per usual. The dressy hat, curled sideburn, fake beauty mark and excess pearls screamed drag queen and as usual the deluded star thought she'd looked a million dollars. You've gotta love hot mess fag hag who thinks she's the shit though!

[Image via GETTY]

DAMN IT LIZA YOU WERE SO CLOSE THIS TIME!

Okay y'all know that we LOVE us some Liza Minnelli but at the Oscars on Sunday the campy singer rocked up wearing a blue ensemble (notice the blue hair steak too) and yet again slightly missed the mark. While we can't deny her hair and make-up looked damn fine for a old broad who's close to 70, the fact that she forgot to wear a bra which showed off her massive erect nipple kinda ruined the moment and made onlookers gag. We also can't deal with the shoes cause they make her look like she's got a dodgy club foot. Anyway we totes thought Liza brought her A game, but as always the humor crept in again cause we just can't take her seriously.

[Image via AP]

IF SHE CAN MAKE IT THERE...ANYONE CAN!

Liza Minnelli really does prove that even the most butters bitch on the planet can achieve worldwide fame and even though you may be laughed at for being so hilariously campish and ugly, who gives a fuck when you're worth in excess of $50 million right? The iconic fag hag was snapped performing in her best at a charity event in NYC the other day and the poor thing looked like a tranny clown with a gammy eye to say the least. Now we get that dressing like you're from the 60s can be cool if you're young, hip and cute, but when you're an munter who limps cause you've got a dodgy hip...it ain't so great. On the other hand we love us some Liza cause the bitch is totes cray!

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

THE CAST OF 'FRAGGLE ROCK' TOUCH DOWN

Poor old Liza Minnelli never really stood a chance in life with that face, but despite looking like the back end of a bus she went on to have a successful singing career (beyond us) and star in campy musicals. Now obviously having Judy Garland as your mom doesn't hurt and we're pretty sure that the poor woman would turn in her grave if could hear how this bitch knocks out a tune. To be honest a cat getting gang raped with Parkinson's disease comes to mind. Even the butters tranny Tubbs from TV show The League Of Gentleman does a better job as passing off as a chick...pretty embarrassing ennit. Do you think Liza farted too cause that airport worker looks as though she's sniffed something that's making her gag?

[Image via NPG]

LIFE IS A BUTTERS CABARET DARLING!

Liza Minnelli has got one of those faces that just doesn't look good period. It don't matter if you slap it up with 3 inches of warpaint or go bare, it's gonna look rough as fucking shite. The legendary fag hag was snapped leaving an NYC eatery during the week and according to sources a couple paparazzi photographers screamed and fainted in shock. Maybe if she lost the rank eyebrows, stopped with the surgery, changed that fucking dyke mullet hair and got her teeth whitened, we could be persuaded to write something nice. Surely she knows our approval means more than winning a Tony award?

[Image via FLYNET]

YOU KNOW JUDY CRIED WHEN THIS CAME OUT

To this day we still don't get why Liza Minnelli is considered a legend (or fag icon) cause the bitch can't hold a note to save her fucking life. The overpaid fag hag was papped at the Tony Awards (shocker) in NYC recently and it looked like a gay Bilbo Baggins covered in glitter. The old broad seemed to have had more plastic surgery since the last time we saw her too, but we don't get why she'd make her already fucked up face look worse?

[Image via WENN]

JUDY WILL BE TURNING IN HER GRAVE

It must be pretty darn awkward when you're the daughter of Hollywood royalty and look butters, but good old Liza Minnelli braved the negativity when it stepped out for an event in NYC recently. The fugly gay icon was papped walking the red carpet and it looked like a fuck off nasty tranny if you ask us. Someone needs to tell this thing that surgery ain't gonna help her mug cause you can't alter genes when you look this fucked that's for sure. Jesus this evil looking thing didn't have a chance since birth.

[Image via WIRE]

SHOW US YOUR JAZZ HANDS LIZA!

Life is apparently still like a cabaret for Liza Minnelli as the elderly fag hag was recently papped walking through the airport in LA and she just couldn't resist a little dance. It's a shame that she's become such a hot mess lately cause she looked more like a fucking clown with a bad hip, as opposed to the award winning gay icon that she (apparently) is to her fans. You know that her bodyguard is thinking please Liza just keep your shit together and don't show me up.

[Image via SPLASH]

WIPING HER ASS MUST BE A CHALLENGE

In case you're wondering this isn't a 70 year old man in drag it's just Liza Minnelli. Yeah that's how fugly it is people. The global fag hag (you're welcome to her gays) was pictured performing over the weekend and she looked like the tranny version of Coco The Clown. Everything from the birds nest hair to the make-up was a total disaster and it seems that she really does want people to think she's a man playing dress up. Those press-on nails are positively VILE too and she must have a hard time wiping her special place after urinating that's for sure.

[Image via GETTY]

LIFE IS ONE SCARY ASS CABARET

For some reason we've always been fascinated as to how Liza Minnelli has managed to stay relevant all these years, cause let's face she ain't the prettiest crayon in the box and it's kinda lacking oh yeah talent. We just heard the gay gasps. Anyway poor old Liza aka the past-it fag hag in drag was papped leaving her apartment in NYC this week and she looked fucking awful. We do feel sorry for her though cause it must suck living in the shadows of an iconic mother with actual talent. People need their eyes and ears testing if they think this is a legend. Nice fake Chanel bag too love.

[Image via SPLASH]

LEGEND OR OVERRATED HOT MESS?

Is it just us or is Liza Minnelli the DEFINITION of a hot fucking mess? We don't give a shit if she's some alleged "icon" cause we've watched numerous videos of her singing and her voice sounds like a cat getting gang raped. The fag hag has become rather reclusive since divorcing from her gay (oh come on) ex-husband David Gest in 2007, but she still manages to squeeze in a performance here and there for her adoring fans (gays). The above clip is from her performance of You Are Not Alone and we strongly believe that at this very moment in the video she was trying to fart through her eyes. Go watch it and just TRY to keep a straight face.

[Image via NBC]