YOUR BODY AIN'T ON FIRE GIRLFRIEND!

Alicia Keys recently kick started her world tour and boy oh boy can the stage feel it every night judging by the above snap. The hit maker who screams rather than sings was seen wearing sprayed on skinny jeans (great look when you're obese) and t-bar heels...huge no no! The top was okay but fucking weird and we never realized how much ass and hip this bitch packs. Just sayin'.

[Image via GSI]

BITCH LOOKS LIKE SHE'S FROM A STARSHIP

What the fuck does Nicki Minaj think she looks like is what we wanna know? The ghetto hit maker was papped doing an appearance at Macy's over the weekend and it looked like black deer caught in the headlights. We're not sure whether animals are living in her barnet, but her make-up is rivaling Katie Price and her nashers were looking fucking evil to say the least. In our dreams we're still waiting for the sing off between this bitch and Lil' Kim.

[Image via WENN]

THOSE BEAUTIFUL LYRICS ARE JUST LIES...

Christina Aguilera clearly doesn't own any mirrors cause bitch has full on PILED it on these past few years and nothing is changing for the better. The diva bitch singer was seen en route to lunch (shocker) in LA recently and even her dog was pictured gagging whilst watching the whale walk away. We really don't know what's going on in Xtina's head, but bitch really needs to get her jaw wired up pronto and hit the gym cause when you're not relevant and morbidly obese you've gotta work extra hard to make those sales. Just sayin'.

[Image via X17]

DID YOU FART HONEY?

You gotta love Nicki Minaj cause the bitch has made a good career out of looking a total mess and rapping shit no one can understand. The erm singer made an appearance on Good Morning America recently to promote her new record and it looked as though the poor bitch had done a nasty fart mid song. The piss colored hair and hooker outfit did her no favors either, but at least it's another star who ain't promoting anorexia. Listen up Alexa (dickhead) Chung.

[Image via SPLASH]

DOES MEDUSA HAVE A FAMOUS TWIN?

Urgh this is literally making us wanna hurl. Beyonce has gone and fucked up her hair cause she was papped walking around NYC with a load of maggots wrapped around her head. The singer decided to ditch her famous weave and go au naturel, but we gotta say the bitch has definitely looked better. We get that it's fun to switch it up and get braids, but she looks like she's been cast in a new Alien movie and it looks gross. We're not so crazy in love with her anymore.

[Image via REX FEATURES]