THIS IS THE FUTURE OF LINDSAY LOHAN TOO...

Seriously WTF is going on with Tara Reid in general? Her career has been on a downward spiral since American Pie and her weight is always going up and down although more down of late. The mediocre actress was papped walking around LA the other day and the bitch looked skeletal to say the least. With the exception of the air bags in her chest she pretty much looked like a fake skeleton stolen from a high school and then put in a trashy LA outfit. We hope she gains weight before she dies and she really needs to fix the gold color of her hair too cause it's rank. Oh dear... it's pretty evident that these celebs need us in their lives.

[Image via WENN]

EVEN SHARKS WOULDN'T RAPE THIS MESS

One of the reasons that we love Tara Reid is that she's such a hot mess and still actually believes that she's hot and everyone wants to fuck her. The actress who now does shitty TV movies (let's face it American Pie was the height of her career) posted a pic to on Twitter of her splashing around on the beach in Malibu and boy did it look rough to say the least. The poor bitch has always just had that cheap and used look and of course the fuck off fake tits and anorexic frame don't help. We're guessing Californian chicks must age amazingly well with all that sun exposure and poor diet.

[Image via TWITTER]

LOIS LANE IS LOOKING ROUGH THESE DAYS

Teri Hatcher used to be pretty back in the day and even though she was on the verge of looking like a wax figure in Desperate Housewives, it seems the actress has totes let herself go in the looks department lately. The original Lois Lane (sorry but Amy Adams ain't got shit on this bitch) was snapped on a run around LA the other day and the woman looked rough as shite. Although she's managed to stay anorexic (huge applause and great role model) something just didn't look right cause she looked tired and gaunt. Get yourself a burger and fries honey!

[Image via X17]

HOLY MOLY WHAT HAPPENED TO JAKE?!

Now usually Jake Gyllenhaal looks pretty good but when he stepped out to an event the other night in LA he looked like an AIDS victim on death row. The actors plump face and looks appeared to be long gone and in their place was a gaunt and skeletal looking thing...pretty rank if you ask us people. We hear it's for a movie role so props to him for losing the weight so fast, but is it wrong that we're kinda jealous and wanna know his secret?

[Image via REX]

WHY OH WHY DO GAYS CARRY BIRKIN BAGS?

Ew we really can't bare to look at the above snap of Johnny Weir too much cause it totes grosses us out and we ain't homophobic but he just looks wrong on so many levels. First he needs to figure out if he even wants to be a dude cause those thighs are rivaling Vicky B's pins and the boots, bag and eyebrows (oh the eyebrows people) just make us cringe inside. We just don't get what it is people?

[Image via FLYNET]

HEARING MY BONES CLICK MAKES ME HAPPY!

You know that Alexa Chung is just a fame hungry half Chinese chick who loves king prawn fried rice but won't ever eat the fucker. The former T4 presenter (she wants people to forget about that) was snapped having a crafty fag after yet another day of starvation on the streets of Brooklyn and boy did the bitch look ill. It must be so tiresome being such a trendsetting NYC hipster, so we're guessing she just doesn't have time to eat? Oh and FYI Alexa, you're from Hampshire or somewhere in China so it doesn't really work love. Either cover up those rank legs or just admit you know how many calories are in toothpaste cause everyone knows you're fat inside. Oh and if there's an annoying PC person reading this, we ain't racist cause we had a Chinese last night.

[Image via X17]

WE PREFER THIS THING AS A WOMAN

Now we've never been big fans of drag queens cause to be quite frank they scare the living shit out of us, but in the case of RuPaul we think it's safe to say it looks better as a chick. The elderly homo was seen walking the red carpet for his new book release the other night and he looked like a walking skeleton with AIDS. Seriously what's going on with that jawline buddy? It's kinda shocking how bad and fucking sick he looks without all the drag crap he usually sports.

[Image via LOGO TV/WENN]

VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

POSH WILL ALWAYS BE A DIRTY WAG AT HEART

People seem to think that Victoria Beckham has always been chic, but if you literally go back about 5 years you can see that she was cheap as fuck. The WAG turned fashion designer can be seen at The Prince's Trust event back in 2005 and boy did it look cheap. The birds nest extensions, orange tan, tacky accessories, slutty gown and French manicure (quiver) is a world away from her current look. It just goes to show how much styles can change! Wonder what happened to natural DD tits too?

[Image via WENN]

HOW DOES THIS BITCH WORK IN FASHION?

We literally have no idea how Anna Dello Russo landed the job as an editor for Vogue cause the bitch is so fugly she actually offends our face. The fashion victim was seen in NYC recently and it appeared to be wearing a piece from every collection all at once. Mmm aren't fashion editors supposed to edit every aspect of their lives? It's a total plastic surgery train wreck and those fucking shoes look ridiculous.

[Image via GETTY]

WOULD THIS BE ALLOWED ON WISTERIA LANE?

Like every actress in Hollywood you've got your age stages and Teri Hatcher is definitely gearing more towards the Driving Miss Daisy chapter judging by her latest snaps. The former Desperate Housewives actress was seen on a run in LA and looked dog rough to say the least. Instead of her usual manicured appearance the poor bitch looked tired and had more lines than a coloring book. Again this could just a be "bad angle" but we don't care she looks rough.

[Image via WHP]

FOR ONCE VICKY B GETS IT SO WRONG

It may happen once in a blue moon but Victoria Beckham stepped out looking not so great recently. The fashion "designer" was seen strolling around London in a jacket made of hot air balloons and a pair of jeans that did her match stick pins NO favors whatsoever. To finish off this fashion fail look her feet looked like they belonged to Coco The Clown rather than an international fashion icon. Better luck next time hey Vicky!

[Image via SPLASH]

GERI SO HIRED THIS TO WALK PAST HER

You know you're a desperate nobody when you hire regular fatties to walk past you in the street thus making you look hotter, but we're onto you Geri Halliwell and those kinda cheap tricks just won't fly with us. The former Spice Girl was papped on the school run with her many sprogs and we gotta say it did look good seeing as it's like 50, but it reminds us that every woman could look this good if she chucked up after every meal so it's kind of a downer too. Did y'all notice that the pissed looking stranger in the great outfit is like 3 times the size of Geri?

[Image via GOFF]

HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY SHIT OUT A KID?

We don't usually hate on people that ain't relevant but even Peaches Geldof deserves some blog inches every now and then. The "we don't know what it does D-lister" was seen attending some shitty fashion show during London fashion week and it looked full on REXIC and not in the good Nicole Richie way either. On top of looking like she's about to eat her own head, one of the bitch's tits is bigger than the other and those shoulders are sharper than a Leona Lewis note. Get a cheeseburger down ya neck love.

[Image via WENN]

NO ONE WANTS TO EAT YOUR PUSSY NOW

Oh honey, such a bad one for you but such a great one for us! Tara Reid aka the down and out hot mess of an "actress" was seen in LA earlier this week and boy oh boy it looked rough as fuck. For some reason and despite this lovely article we've always had a little soft spot for Tara, but when we saw this shit we knew it just couldn't fly cause the bitch literally looked like a drowned rat that'd been passed around and fucked. Have you ever noticed that some women just look used like they're vessels waiting to be filled? Go and get a blow out and lay off the partying honey.

[Image via AKM-GSI]

HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT MARRIED MEN?

Another day another husband to steal is a good motto to live by according to singer Leanne Rimes, but the other day she took a break from riding cock and decided to get a work out in after the holidays. If you ask us she really needed it cause her thighs were looking a lot heftier after having a whole can of tuna for Christmas diner...greedy bitch. Anyway we just thought she looked like a baby pig straining for a shit minus the slap and as always we love to share world news like this. Enjoy!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

HOW WAS THIS A FRICKIN' MODEL PEOPLE?

This actually makes us kinda sad to see Janice Dickinson looking like she's left her retirement home for the afternoon to go play bridge with the girls, but no you're eyes ain't fooling you she really does look that fucking awful and may we stress old. The former model (shocker) was seen leaving her local market in Malibu and the bitch had either smuggled kids into the country or she'd had a fuck off nasty perm. To top it all off, the stretched skin and puffy lips just make her look even more desperate to stay young and it's really not hot. When will these LA dummies learn that less is more?

[Image via FLYNET]

THE AIRBRUSH IS HAVING A DAY OFF

Well this sure don't look like a Vogue cover does it Anne Hathaway? The usually preened to perfection Jewish actress was snapped walking around NYC recently and she looked like a rat on the hunt for a cube of cheese. The flyaway birds nest hair, Dumbo ears and fuck off massive conk certainly wouldn't go down well with Miranda Priestly that's for sure. Just sayin'.

[Image via SPLASH]

MAYBE IT IS BETTER SKINNY?

When we stumbled upon this LOVELY vintage pic of Jennifer Hudson we almost vommed up our lunch cause those arms look like a nasty pair of whale thighs. Anyway our point is that maybe the singer does look better when she's anorexic but we're still kinda undecided. When it's thin she looks like a fugly horse and when it was like this (we'll call it Motown Flubber) she looks a right fucking beast that would eat you if you got in her way. What do y'all think?

[Image via WIRE]

DOES THIS HAIL FROM KENYA PERHAPS?

Oh honey, just looking at this shit makes us wanna FedEx you a fuck off burger and fries to get down your gullet. Kate Bosworth aka one of the world's shittest actresses behind Keira Knightley, was seen lingering outside her trailer in LA the other day holding what appeared to be an orange and although we're happy that she's eating something, it looked as though she should've had a drip machine on wheels beside her at all times. Her head literally looked like it would fall off if she turned too suddenly and when your Ugg boots match the width of your upper thighs, you know you've got something in common with Karen Carpenter. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]