WHY THE FUCK DOES KIMMY WEAR WIGS?

Holy shit is what we thought when we first clapped eyes on this pic of Kim Zolciak. Now we ain't her biggest fan cause let's face it; she's a trashy and talentless hick who looks like a drag queen. That is until she ditched the fake tan, wigs and clown make-up, cause judging by her latest Twitter snap lady is looking mighty fine. Now we know it totally goes against the rules of The Sizzling Mess to be nice to celebs (even to Xtina), but there ain't no denying that Kim looks pretty stunning in the right pic, albeit in the Anna Nicole Smith (non-corpse) porn star kinda way. Still though bitch looks beautiful and should keep it au naturel by rockin' her own fabulous hair more often. Remember that less is always more honey!

[Image via SPLASH/TWITTER]

MAMA JUNE DEF OWNS A MAGIC MIRROR...

You can't help but love Mama June (aka hick whale) from Honey Boo Boo, cause no matter how fucking obese it becomes she still rocks any mess of a look with no apology. The reality TV star was papped at her own wedding (low) and the above snap shows it posing for the press in her luxurious living room scattered with her kid's pageant trophies. It must truly suck to be fat and poor, but we still love you June cause you make us feel so much better about ourselves!

[Image via SPLASH]

LOOKS LIKE COUSIN ITT MOVED TO ATLANTA

We guess that some people will just never learn to look in the mirror (or at least buy one) before they leave the house and this does seem to be the case for the trashy as hell Kim Zolciak from Real Housewives Of Atlanta, but secretly we hope she never learns cause we love that she's a state. The reality star can be seen in an exclusive sneak peek preview into the new season of the hit Bravo show and as always her wig and it's quality looks uber questionable. We can see that she's not ditched the tacky and so 2003 nails either.

[Image via BRAVO/MGM]

AS ALWAYS SHE'S A CLASS ACT

Just when you thought Kim Zolciak couldn't get any trashier she goes and does something like this. Apparently she thought it'd be romantic (actual quote) to have her husband's football shirt painted onto her naked body as a gift. We have to say that even this is a new low for The Real Housewives Of Atlanta star who always seems to look like a cheap hooker in drag. Overall it just isn't a good look honey, cause that mammoth wig is raping your head and your titties are hanging too far south. All we can say is thank God this isn't our mother.

[Image via BRAVO]

I'VE BEEN RIDING (CONVICTS) SINCE I WAS 7 YEARS OLD

No, this isn't an unpublished image from The Muppets archive, it's class personified Real Housewives Of Atlanta star (pig) Phaedra Parks. There's a lot to look at here, but we think it's safe to say that Donatella Versace spent the night at Phaedra's, drank way too much and then threw up everywhere in the morning. After being puked on it looks like she borrowed one of Donatella's STUNNING (disgusting) Versace blouses (albeit 30 sizes bigger). Don't forget to really study her FLAWLESSLY applied make up by the way. Urgh, everything about this photo screams "new money" (or no money) and it looks like a poor-man's Buckingham Palace on a VERY tight budget. Wait hang on though, what is Donatella Versace doin' in Atlanta?

[Image via BRAVO]

LIFE & STYLE WHORE

Whenever we think about our favourite celebrity hot mess, we always seem to forget about the stunning natural beauty of Kim Zolciak. The CLASSIEST Real Housewives Of Atlanta star was pictured lunching in her native Georgia (note the classy placing of a cigarette lighter and glass of wine), but she looked more like an extra from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We think it's safe to say that whatever "look" she was going for here was clearly a drag queen. The hair (Smiffy's wig), clown make up, VILE French Manicure (a la Posh Spice circa her WAG days) and new money watch just scream "I'm an uncultured hick who has a show on Bravo." Sorry sweetie, but this is just one major hot pile of MESS!

[Image via PEACH TREE POST]