DAMN IT LIZA YOU WERE SO CLOSE THIS TIME!

Okay y'all know that we LOVE us some Liza Minnelli but at the Oscars on Sunday the campy singer rocked up wearing a blue ensemble (notice the blue hair steak too) and yet again slightly missed the mark. While we can't deny her hair and make-up looked damn fine for a old broad who's close to 70, the fact that she forgot to wear a bra which showed off her massive erect nipple kinda ruined the moment and made onlookers gag. We also can't deal with the shoes cause they make her look like she's got a dodgy club foot. Anyway we totes thought Liza brought her A game, but as always the humor crept in again cause we just can't take her seriously.

[Image via AP]

ERM SO WAS KRIS THE HUSBAND OR THE WIFE?

Bruce Jenner has literally become a middle aged dyke or that's what he's looking like these days. The former husband of new money trash reality star Kris Jenner (mom of slut Kim K) was snapped leaving a plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills the other day after having his Adam's Apple shaved down...er what the fuck though right? We're not sure if it wants to be a chick cause we can spy some titties growing under his shirt there, but whatever anyway it's just creepy and we don't know what he is at all.

[Image via SPLASH]

DID YOU FORGET YOUR BOULDER HOLDER?

Okay so we know most men would probably want Lauren Goodger to give them a tit wank, but really did the skank actually have to go shopping in the winter wearing no bra and a sheer top? The former TOWIE star was papped walking the streets of London laden with shopping bags and we're hoping there's at least a bra in one of them. On the upside she didn't look as obese as usual and we never realized how huge her fucking tits were...the poor things are suffocating and no doubt freezing in that top. You can't buy class can you people?

[Image via XPOSURE]

NO FOLKS THIS AIN'T KATIE PRICE'S DAUGHTER

Okay so what the FUCK was Courtney Stodden thinking when she got these implants and more importantly what kind of surgeon actually agrees to put em in? The plastic fantastic bimbo was seen sunbathing in the Big Brother garden as she's currently appearing in the British reality show and boy are those melons big. We're guessing she was going for a really natural look and what's up with the pussy brushing?

[Image via CHANNEL 5]

THE DIVINE MISS M HAS GOT ONE BIG RACK!

Now you just gotta love Bette Midler cause the fag hag is totes hilare, but the other day the poor bitch went swimming whilst on vacay and wore THE most unflattering bathing suit. The all round talent was seen splashing around in the ocean and according to sources even the dolphins were getting hard at the sight of her fuck off erect nips. For a bird that's almost 70 years old she is packing some serious knockers. We are totes thinking that Wind Beneath My Tits is way more appropriate after seeing this...we love you Bette!

[Image via SPLASH]

UGLY CHICKS LIVE ON STARSHIPS

Nicki Minaj probably uploaded the above snap to her Twitter thinking she looked like hot shit, but in reality it just further highlighted how much of an ugly chick she is. The ghetto skank rapper appeared to be trying on wedding dresses a' la cheap style, but who the hell would put a ring on this shit? We don't mind a few of her tunes and these fake ass titties, but she looks more like a malnourished Malaysian boy playing dress up than a superstar. Wonder if she's packin' under that fuck off wig too?

[Image via TWITTER]

EXERCISE WON'T FIX THIS SHIT HONEY

Alicia Douvall is one of those gals who's famous for doing fuck all besides being a slut. The former models (yeah right) was papped running around her local park in London and it certainly doesn't photograph well these days that's for sure. The trout pout, bloated face and balloon tits just don't work when you're like 60 years old. It's kinda embarrassing to look this bad and be totally irrelevant.

[Image via ISO]

HOW DOES RICHARD PORK THIS THING?

Holy shit balls! This STUNNING pic of past-it Judy Finnigan is gonna give us some fuck off nightmares that's for sure. The former host of that shit show Richard & Judy was seen running errands around London recently and not only did it look fucking scary, the bitch looked truly BUTTERS to say the least. We're sorry but her husband is way hotter than her and there's no way he's fucking this unless he's cheating on the side. Fuck though...put on some slap next time you leave ya gaff.

[Image via GETTY]

BIG ANG IS DEFINITELY HIDING A SAUSAGE

For a long time now we've suspected that Angela Raiola aka Big Ang was a fuck off Italian tranny cause bitch just looks horrendous day in day out. Anyway according to Ang she was born a chick and has only had a couple plastic surgery procedures. Erm can you smell bullshit too? The trashy reality star was seen at a book signing in New Jersey the other day and as expected it was sporting that nasty ass trout pout. So much is wrong here that we almost kinda love her, but you can't deny that it looks a fucking state.

[Image via FLYNET]

LISA WILL ALWAYS JUST BE A TV ACTRESS

Lisa Rinna is one of those actresses who will never migrate from TV and if she did it'd just be for a TV movie. The erm actress was papped leaving a gym in LA over the weekend and it looked like her lips had been stuck in a pool drain. On top of the trout pout her nips came out to play and were practically winking at the camera. Desperation has always been associated with this thing and we hope for her sake Days Of Our Lives doesn't get cancelled anytime soon.

[Image via FLYNET]

NO ONE WANTS TO EAT YOUR PUSSY NOW

Oh honey, such a bad one for you but such a great one for us! Tara Reid aka the down and out hot mess of an "actress" was seen in LA earlier this week and boy oh boy it looked rough as fuck. For some reason and despite this lovely article we've always had a little soft spot for Tara, but when we saw this shit we knew it just couldn't fly cause the bitch literally looked like a drowned rat that'd been passed around and fucked. Have you ever noticed that some women just look used like they're vessels waiting to be filled? Go and get a blow out and lay off the partying honey.

[Image via AKM-GSI]

THIS MUST BE THE WORLD'S TRASHIEST MOM

It's hard to believe that such a classy bird like Katie Price could be single, but low and behold she recently split from her boyfriend of erm around three months and already it was back out trying to score more cock. The glamor model who proudly takes it up the ass was papped leaving several clubs around London in the wee hours and it looked a right state to say the least. Her tits are practically being used as a chin rest at this point and even drag queens apply their slap better, however the one nice thing we can say is that she's got a bangin' tum for shitting out four kids. All the obese bitches who had one kid 8 years ago should take note and stop fucking eating. Put your tits away though honey cause it ain't a good look.

[Image via FLYNET]

THE QUEEN OF SOUL HAS SOME BAGGAGE

Holy fuck balls! Aretha Franklin has got some TITS on her and we bet her back fucking hates her. The queen of soul was snapped at a recent charity event for Hurricane Isaac and bitch was packing some serious puppies that's for sure. We can't believe she wore this dress either cause the miniscule straps barely contain her ample bosom (fuck off mammary glands), and if she sneezed we're pretty sure they'd go flying and knock a couple people out. It's a shame that a talented icon like herself resembles such a cheap whore with a ghetto edge, but let's face it how can you educate pork?

[Image via GETTY]

HER MOM MUST BE SO PROUD

Katie Price aka Jordan has once again reminded the public as to why she's such a classy gal. The glamor model (at a push) was seen at Selfridges earlier this week to promote her 400th book of the year and let's just say that she let something out of the bag. The cheap slapper obviously loves to pose but she stretched a little too far when one of her tits popped out of her top to say hello. We must say the sun spots all over her chest and nip are just lovely, but someone needs hanging for doing that make-up. Do drag queens actually aspire to look like a clown with syphilis?

[Image via FLYNET]

WONDER IF THESE MADE THE PHOTO ALBUM?

We just love how some people actually believe they have taste and Kim Zolciak is a classic example of this common delusion. The trashy Real Housewives star was seen getting ready shortly before her wedding to football player Kroy Biermann (he doesn't know what he's in for) on her own spin-off show Don't Be Tardy For The Wedding. You know you're marrying a woman with standards when she brushes her teeth whilst in her wedding dress over the sink and then spits out with an entire camera crew around. Oh and like every bride out there Kim had her dressmaker measure the amount of "side titty" she wanted on her big day and as you can it was a ladylike 2 inches. We're just loving that French manicure too cause it screams class.

[Image via BRAVO]

TIME HAS NOT BEEN KIND TO VICKY

Tara Reid really is the epitome of a hot fucking mess. The actress (barely) was papped at the Cannes Film Festival and she looked like a rough slapper who's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard. Now if you all saw American Reunion then you'll agree that she's practically a younger Meryl Streep, but in terms of her looks she's full on let herself go lately. At only 36 years old her face looks haggard and those pearly whites, or rather pearly yellows, are just gross. It's just a total car crash that looks cheap and nasty.

[Image via WIRE]

SHE HASN'T CHANGED A BIT HAS SHE?

Wow. Victoria Beckham really is insulting the world's intelligence when she continually insists that her rack is natural. You only have to look at the above to see that both her figure and tits are practically identical. Let's be real though cause this is another case of what we like to call ACS (Alexa Chung syndrome) aka a fucked up level of denial. Now don't get it twisted, Posh wasn't a fat cunt when she was younger, but she sure as hell weren't no size zero. Oh and if you think you can have tits like that after 4 kids and still be able to fit into kids clothes, you're a really bad liar and a fucking idiot.

[Image via GETTY/REX FEATURES]

CALL YA NEW PERFUME HAPPY SLAPPER?

Good old Jordan aka Katie Price (she thinks it's classier) was snapped arriving at the launch for her new butt plug line and it looked like a Fanta bottle with chlamydia. We'll be nice and say her hair actually looks okay, but the fucking scouse brows, whale lips and clown make up make her look like a cheap drag queen. We can't believe it's only 30 too...what the fuck has she done to herself?

[Image via GETTY]

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

We love how Kathy Hilton pretends to be so classy and old money when really she's just trailer trash from Idaho complete with a failed acting career. The housewife (former slut until marriage) was seen partying in Las Vegas with STUNNING (special needs face) daughter Nicky Hilton, and boy did she partaaay. Kathy appeared to have forgot (not put on) her bra, but didn't she know they're a legal requirement for women over 75? Especially when you're puppies (thanks to a Beverly Hills surgeon) are that mahoosive. Gotta love a mom who lives their life through their children (listen up Dina Lohan & Tina Spears), but we're sure Paris is ETERNALLY grateful that she leaked her sex tape.

[Image via TMZ]