HOW'S YOUR "CLOTHING LINE" GOING HONEY?

Now we've never seen the big deal with this bitch cause even though she's got a nice set of pins and we'd happily give her one, it really ain't all that underneath the cake mix. Whitney Port aka the boring slut from MTV's The City was papped getting a massage in LA recently and the poor thing looked rough as fuck. Aside from her usual down-syndrome eyes, it looked like she'd had a run-in with Chris Brown and we don't even know what's going on with the tongue. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid as to turn down advice from fellow reality star Olivia Palermo she'd look a lot better.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

WE WONDER IF DANIEL'S EMBARRASSED?

For a second we thought we'd never hear about Natasha Bedingfield ever again, but fear not if you're a fan cause it made a surprise appearance at fashion week recently. The singer certainly raised a few eyebrows but shall we say for all the wrong reasons. The dress made her legs look like dumpy sausages and her head just looked fuck off massive and weird. We know it sounds like we're insecure cunts hiding behind our keyboard, but we can't resist saying it like it is. Granted it ain't the worst tool in the box, but she looks like a fucking tranny here.

[Image via GETTY]

THE RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY

The only reason we've never posted about Kelly Cutrone prior to this is because she's so fugly the photos never upload. We have however been able to compromise and alas as you can see above, the animated version of the fashion publicist (bitch who thinks she's important) looks scarily similar to the real thing. Someone really needs to tell this woman that getting your roots done and erm showering in general doesn't cost that much. In case you hadn't guessed that's Whitney Port, wait no Stephanie Pratt, or shit is it Lauren Conrad? Whichever bitch it's supposed to be, it's showing them pretending to work on the computer. Just like on The Hills.

[Image via FUNNY STUFF]

SPENCER HAS AGED THIS FOR SURE

Holy shit, even we can't believe this is Heidi Montag! The former star from The Hills was snapped leaving a gas station in LA looking full on DOG rough. To be honest, we're actually shocked that she's got the cash to own a car what with her addiction to dental work (botched plastic surgery). Whatever she's been doing has clearly been taking it's toll cause it looks old, tired and bloated. Get rid of your LOSER husband girl and get down the gym.

[Image via X17]

FROM THE HILLS TO HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD

Looking back in time we really did think that Heidi Montag was a cute little thing, but FUCK it's looking rough lately. The $5 hooker was pictured at some crappy event in Vegas and she looked a right trollop on the red carpet. We're loving her puffy fish lips too...you'd never guess she was the poster girl for surgery gone wrong would you?

[Image via HEIDI'S PIMP]

THE HILLS TO THE SEWER

Granted, she's not exactly the biggest hot mess (or celebrity) on the scene, but the lower half of Whitney Port resembles an Ethiopian minus the tan. It was the slightly retarded facial expression, match stick legs and Hocus Pocus boots that caught our eye, but we just don't get why she's still famous? The Hills was kinda fun, but as soon as she appeared in The City, fierce rival bitch Olivia Palermo completely upstaged Whitters and showed her how it's done. Bitch better be careful though cause she could do some serious damage with them fugly boots!

[Image via SPLASH]