Friday, November 29, 2013

MEG EVEN POSES LIKE A FRICKIN' DOG!

We still don't understand why Ashton cheated on Demi with this Jewish thing? Now we ain't got nothing against Jews, we simply use the term for effect but fuck Mila Kunis is one rough dog. The voice of stunner Meg Griffin was seen out with her stolen goods (boyfriend) and some random dog who by chance happened to be making the same facial expression as her. Still don't think the bitch is a dog or a husband stealer?

[Image via AKM-GSI]

Thursday, November 28, 2013

BAGGY PUSSY OR THUNDER THIGHS?

Lily Allen has apparently started making music again...even though she said she was gonna retire before shitting out kids. Anyhow the singer must've ran outta money or something cause while her latest tune isn't the worst thing we've ever heard, the music video screams budget cut and they could've at least touched up her whale thighs in the editing room. What do we know though?

[Image via WARNER MUSIC]

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

THE MISEDUCATION OF APPLYING MAKE-UP...

Seriously what the actual fuck love? Lauryn Hill seemed to wanna look like a butters clown while performing at a recent concert and boy did the bitch exceed. The singer who recently had a run-in with the IRS didn't look too happy to be back performing and sources say she's being forced cause of mounting debts. It's seems pretty low of her to get into debt when she was earning so much and not living an extravagant lifestyle, but maybe it was cosmetic surgery procedures to make her ugly or something?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

DID YOU DREAM A DREAM OF BAD TASTE?

Oh we love when horrendous outfits happen to cute and kinda crazy people. Scottish nutter Susan Boyle was papped leaving a TV studio in London the other day and it looked like she'd raided the wardrobe of Dame Edna. The singer also looked rather glum and it was no doubt down to seeing her reflection and realizing what a horrendous ensemble she'd decided to throw on. Still hey ho that's life and at least she's not poor anymore.

[Image via XPOSURE]

Monday, November 25, 2013

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!

Holy shit balls people! Christina Aguilera rocked up to this years AMA's looking shit hot compared to the disaster of a dress she turned up in last year. Initially we thought her overall look last year wasn't that bad, but after comparing it to this year she looked a total orange mess. The trampy singer scrubbed up damn well for the event and looked like she was revisiting her throwback glam look...let's just hope she keeps the weight off.

[Image via GETTY/SPLASH]

Friday, November 08, 2013

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER RANK PIC OF NAT

Poor old Natalie Cassidy can't catch a break and we're guessing she's our most featured celeb (pushing it), but let's face it there's good reason here. The former Eastenders actress was seen leaving a gym in London the other day and while her body was looking better, we just can't say the same for that horrific face. Yeah we get we're evil and we're insecure but they're anyway to package this thing up as pretty and cute. If we're honest we think mannish would be the most complimentary term we'd ever use to describe it on here. Still though the bitch is driving a Land Rover so we respect her a little more.

[Image via SPLASH]

Thursday, November 07, 2013

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER IS TOTES TRUE

We do love a good golden oldie and this Dina & Lindsay Lohan one definitely doesn't disappoint. The actress was snapped partying with her mom a while back and boy did they both look a sight for sore eyes. To be honest they'd look super at home walking up and down Hollywood Blvd during the night and let's face it that would help with LiLo's money problems. Talk about one fuck off catastrophic downward spiral.

[Image via REX]

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

WE'RE NOT SURE IF SHE'S STILL PREGGERS?

Adele is one of those birds who scrubs up super well for awards shows, but in her downtime she can look rough as shit. The rich as fuck singer was snapped running errands in London with her new sprog and it look rough bless her. We get that she's tired and her tits are sore, but brush her hair and swap that KFC for salad once in a while love. At least she's wearing trainers but we still can't picture this working out.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

TIME TO GET YOUR JAW WIRED UP HONEY

Oh no honey as if you left your gaff looking like this again. Lauren Goodger just never seems to learn and you think after getting the boot from TOWIE for being too fat she'd learn, but the woman still continues to stuff her fat face. What's more embarrassing is that the bitch ain't even 6 months along or anything...she's just that fucking obese. Next time stay away from dresses made out of elastic cause nobody want to see those rank curves hugged love.

[Image via FLYNET]

Monday, November 04, 2013

MAYBE THIS IS WHAT AIDS LOOKS LIKE?

You know we really don't give a shit if you think our title isn't politically correct or offensive cause Perez Hilton is actually that disgusting. It's not even that he likes dick, it's cause his unfortunate face does nothing but offend us to our very core. The blogger who is raising a kid (poor fucking thing) turned up to Heidi Klum's annual halloween bash dressed as Miley Cyrus and looked like a walking strand of the HIV virus. It's just wrong on so many levels...you have a dick for a reason.

[Image via GETTY]

Friday, October 25, 2013

THE SIMPSON SISTERS HAVE GONE TO SHIT

Okay so the story goes that Ashlee Simpson was always the fuglier sister of then hot Jessica Simpson, but when she decided to get her rank nose fixed she looked way better. Well that is until now of course if you've got eyes. The former singer (bitch please) was papped leaving a restaurant with a new man friend (totes a slut) and let's just say it's looked better. Maybe it's just a bad angle cause she looked like a fugly witch with a double chin. At least her new nose won't use any many Kleenex when she's sick.

[Image via GSI]

Thursday, October 24, 2013

THIS JUST CANNOT BE LEGEND WHITNEY!

We kinda hate the last tour Whitney Houston did before she died cause not only was it her worst vocal performance, but the woman looked horrendous. The ridiculously talented and now deceased singer was papped doing her show in London back in 2010 and you literally can't tell who it is to be honest. Where the hell did her cheekbones disappear to guys? Such a shame cause music is such shit nowadays. Just sayin.'

[Image via GETTY]

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

HOLY MOLY WHAT HAPPENED TO JAKE?!

Now usually Jake Gyllenhaal looks pretty good but when he stepped out to an event the other night in LA he looked like an AIDS victim on death row. The actors plump face and looks appeared to be long gone and in their place was a gaunt and skeletal looking thing...pretty rank if you ask us people. We hear it's for a movie role so props to him for losing the weight so fast, but is it wrong that we're kinda jealous and wanna know his secret?

[Image via REX]

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

WTF BRITNEY'S GOT AN EIGHT HEAD NOW?

Man it's actually quite disturbing to see what a mess Britney Spears is these days...and you all thought Xtina had issues when she was heavier. The pop star was snapped leaving a dance rehearsal in LA over the weekend and bitch looked a total state. What the fuck is going on with the receding hairline, that fuck off spam forehead and the yellow hair? Jesus love sort yourself out cause no one will pay to see you perform live (lip sync) in Vegas looking like this!

[Image via X17]

Monday, October 21, 2013

WE DIDN'T KNOW SHAZZA WAS A GYPSY?

What the fuck has happened to the once attractive Sharon Osbourne? These days the money grabbing Jewish music manager is looking more like the Bride of Frankenstein than an aging woman. The cheap looking red barnet and puffy frozen face ain't a good look and it seems Shazza has taken her surgeries a few steps too far. Less is more lady!

[Image via REX]

Friday, October 18, 2013

CARINE ROITFELD DEFINITELY NEEDS A RAISE!

Mila Kunis really is one of those birds that needs make-up cause without it she looks dog rough and that's being kind. The actress was the face of Dior accessories not so long ago and it seems stylist Carine Roitfeld has magical powers cause she turned her from a pig into a swan judging by the above snaps. It really is shocking that this is even the same person and just proves how much celebs rely on slap these days.

[Image via DIOR/PACIFIC COAST]

Thursday, October 17, 2013

WHY OH WHY DO GAYS CARRY BIRKIN BAGS?

Ew we really can't bare to look at the above snap of Johnny Weir too much cause it totes grosses us out and we ain't homophobic but he just looks wrong on so many levels. First he needs to figure out if he even wants to be a dude cause those thighs are rivaling Vicky B's pins and the boots, bag and eyebrows (oh the eyebrows people) just make us cringe inside. We just don't get what it is people?

[Image via FLYNET]

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

PRECIOUS COULD LITERALLY EAT RUSSIA

Okay so we get that Gabourey Sidibe is a really good actress and she's got the whole cuteness appeal, but fuck does the bitch have nasty figure. The star was papped filming scenes for her latest stint on American Horror Story in New Orleans recently and it looked like she'd ballooned even more...we guess pigs can fly. Seriously though it's waaay unhealthy for her to be this fat and the woman ain't even got small ankles or anything...it's fucking huge everywhere. Please stop eating Gabby cause you're gonna put yourself in an early grave!

[Image via SPLASH]

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

CRUELLA WOULD TOTES NOT HIRE THIS

Looks like another hair and make-up queen has got it in for actress Joely Richardson cause lady was looking weird at a recent product launch in London. The sister of the bird who died in a skiing accident (very sad no BS) was papped walking the red carpet and her hair looked fucking rank to say the least. The woman's only in her late 40s but looks so much older with the dated attire and horrendous makeover. Better luck next time Joely!

[Image via CONTACT MUSIC]

Monday, October 14, 2013

YOU WANNA A RANK BODY? WORK BITCH!

Oh man this kinda sucks cause we were rooting hard for Britney Spears after seeing how SMOKING hot she looked in her new video for Work Bitch. Sadly it seems digital trickery was heavily used as leaked images show the before and after and let's just say she didn't get that body from doing crunches at the gym. Long gone are her naturally rock hard abs and legs and in their place sits a flabby muffin top and chunky thighs. Now we get that she ain't fat but for Britney this is a mess.

[Image via HOAX VID/RCA]

Friday, October 11, 2013

SINCE WHEN DID DIANA HAVE A MULLET?

Following a pretty shit attempt to be Princess Diana in the new movie Diana (too creative), actress Naomi Watts graced the cover of In Style although something looks a little off. Wouldn't have something more classic looked better seeing as she's promoting a movie about a fucking princess? Also what's the with Scandinavian dyke hair and make up cause it looks nasty and don't suit Naomi at all. Now of course we always think we know best, but in this case bitch don't look hot. Just sayin'.

[Image via IN STYLE]

Thursday, October 10, 2013

THE ADDAMS FAMILY HAVE ARRIVED PEOPLE

Back in the day Sharon Osbourne looked damn good for her age, but nowadays Shazza don't even look like herself. As for the daughter Kelly she's one big retro tranny mess who gives fashion advice...sorry we just can't even go there. What the fuck has Sharon done to her lips though cause it just looks like one massive trout pout people. There is a limit to what you should have done honey!

[Image via SPLASH]

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

THIS AIN'T GONE MAKE A CUTE BRIDE...

Man now we LOVE us some Nene Leakes but girl really ain't the best looking crayon in the box. The hilariously blunt reality star can be seen in her new show I Dream Of Nene and it sure as hell ain't the most flattering shot of the Atlanta housewife. What's going on with that waddle fat too Nene...you're only 45 years old?

[Image via BRAVO]

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

DON'T TRY AND EAT THE MICROPHONE TOO

Kelly Clarkson has always had a good set of pipes, but for some reason the singer and former Idol winner can never seem to stabilize her weight. It seems she's either Free Willy or Nicole Richie and we don't get why it's so hard for some birds? The poor thing really needs a new stylist too cause the person behind all her recent outfits is clearly holding a grudge.

[Image via WENN]

Monday, October 07, 2013

THE INSIDIOUS BRIDE WOULD BE SHOCKED

The Sizzling Mess is still finding it kinda hard to get over how rough and plain Rose Bryne looks minus the slap and this occasion was no exception! The actress was snapped having a quick coffee in LA over the weekend and looked virtually unrecognizable if you compare her to Helen from Bridesmaids! It's totes shocking and tbh we're just wondering how she landed such a hot fucking husband?

[Image via SPLASH]

Friday, October 04, 2013

MILEY HONEY...YOU JUST AIN'T SEXY!

It totally escapes us as to why so many people think Miley Cyrus is hot cause all we see is a wannabe try hard with too many teeth trying to perform fellatio on a sledgehammer. The pop star can be seen in an outtake from her slutty video for Wrecking Ball and it's safe to say bitch looks like a chipmunk with an STD. We think Liam is totes better off without the skank.

[Image via RCA]

Thursday, October 03, 2013

THERE AIN'T NOTHING VOID TO ENTER NO MORE

What in the fuck has happened to Paz De La Huerta? We like how that reads she's so relevant but in reality everyone is gonna be like who the fuck is this bitch? Anyway the actress (she ain't done much) was snapped partying with a pal who looked suspiciously like Paula Yates from beyond the grave and lady looked like a total bloated mess. We're not sure if she's eating scripts as opposed to reading them nowadays, but bitch seriously needs to assess her portion control. Girl's got a right pair of birthing hips on her en all!

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

KEEP YA EYES WIDE SHUT FOR THIS SHIT!

Nicole Kidman was once a beauty that graced our screens, but for some reason she felt different and had a fuck load of work done cause bitch was looking plain nasty the other day at a press junket. The money hungry actress who took Tom Cruise to the fucking cleaners was seen sporting some fuck off awful trout lips and just a bizarre face in general. Why in God's name did she do this to herself?

[Image via GETTY]

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

MERCEDES WOULDA CHECKED THAT WEAVE

Oh honey as if you left your dance rehearsal without looking in the mirror! Poor old Amber Riley was snapped in LA the other and it looked like she'd finally started working up a sweat...talk about overdue. The actress sported some strange kinda stocking things and her trusty new money LV bag was by her side as usual (for the ghetto in her), but what was going on with that sweaty weave and horse mouth? We love you Mercedes but next time check yo'self in the mirror girl.

[Image via GSI]

Monday, September 30, 2013

YOU AIN'T ONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

We always wondered what Dita Von Teese ever saw in Marilyn Manson cause let's face it he ain't exactly a looker is he? The rock star who once used to be relevant (like Xtina but bad music) was snapped at a film premiere in LA recently and boy did it look horrendous sans slap. We don't even know what it is and what's the grill too Miley?

[Image via FILM MAGIC]

Friday, September 27, 2013

THIS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED AT SHOWS

Don't get us wrong, dressing cool and quirky can work but when you're as old and fugly as Anna Dello Russo it fails miserably. The editor of Vogue Japan was snapped arriving at the Balenciaga show in Paris earlier today and boy did the bitch look a fool. We just don't get how this is even "fashion cool" at 51 (and the rest) cause she looks a fucking state. The fake tan, skinny legs, hilarious get up and stoopid hat didn't do her any favors, but what do we know she's an editor right?

[Image via FLYNET]

Thursday, September 26, 2013

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?

Nice teeth honey! This definitely gives dog a new meaning cause Jade Goody's mother Jackiey Budden was papped looking rough as pure shite recently. Jesus do you all remember when Jade paid for her mom to have a makeover? Nice to know she took it seriously huh! Good old Jackiey was back to her rough dyke self when she went shopping the other day, but this seriously takes fugly to another level. Like don't even bother leaving your house when you look like this cause you've gone and offended us bitch. It's the kind of "woman" who's proud of glassing another bird outside her local for shagging her fella. Urgh we can't deal with this amount of common.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

THIS DOG WILL SNORT A LINE IN 5 SECONDS

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson really puts the d-o-g in DOG cause bitch is a fucking mess and she better know it people. The coke whore former IT girl was snapped at a party in London recently and as usual it looked like a hot mess covered in crystal meth. First off we need to point out that she's only wearing one false eyelash, but we're guessing she pulled off the other one and rolled it up to snort a line? Allegedly for the lawyers reading this! We think it's pretty safe to say that Tara ain't go chance of looking good these days.

[Image via GETTY]

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

GENIE CAN FIT IN THE BOTTLE AGAIN YAY!

We couldn't help ourselves when we saw the latest pics of Christina Aguilera cause she's taking this weight loss to another level! Looking back she DEF looks better minus all the flab cause heavy doesn't look good on her. This totes proves that all women should be skinny cause if you think she looked like a "real woman" in the left pic, then you're just kidding yourselves cause you're probs fat.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST/NBC]

Monday, September 23, 2013

PLEASE THROW OUT YOUR MAGIC MIRROR!

Oh honey no what the fuck do you look like now? Natalie Cassidy braved the cruel world we live in (courtesy of us) and stepped out to get some treats from her local offy the other. We ain't gonna lie but she really ain't easy on the eyes and we don't know what she was thinking with the glasses. She's probably a really nice girl but we really haven't got a clue what is is people.

[Image via SPLASH]

Friday, September 20, 2013

THERE'S NOT REALLY MUCH DIFFERENCE NOW

Poor old Anjelica Huston really doesn't have gravity on her side cause the poor bitch has aged terribly to say the least. The actress known for her portrayal of some fugly witch was snapped at a charity event in London recently and boy did it look scary. We'd like to know what's under that wig of hers tbh...any guesses?

[Image via WARNER BROS/REX]

Thursday, September 19, 2013

WE WOULDN'T WANNA PISS PAMMY OFF TBH

We're not entirely sure if we've ever done a post on classic beauty (who are we kidding) Pamela Anderson, but when we spotted this corker we couldn't not share it with y'all! The former Baywatch star was papped walking around LA the other day and let's just say we wouldn't wanna get on the wrong side of it cause she looked like a right rough bitch. Gone are the youthful looks that once made her a household name and instead we're subjected to hooker eyebrows, badly dyed hair and a hard ass face. Aging is such a shame ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

WTF DID ANNA WINTOUR DO TO SANDY?

Okay so don't get it twisted cause we LOVE actress Sandra Bullock as much as the next mofo, but we really ain't feeling her latest Vogue cover. We're not sure what Anna was going for with this photo but we think she looks more like a dykey elf who's related to Enya than fashion cover girl. Is it just us who's seeing this cause Sandy usually looks stunning? What a fucking bad choice for the cover though guys.

[Image via VOGUE]

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

DESIGNERS WANT THIS SITTING FRONT ROW?

Is it just us or is the weight slowly creeping back onto Kelly Osbourne? It can't be easy for fat birds to keep it off forever cause food must be all they crave and we totes think those upper thighs have gotten chunkier in recent months. We gotta give her props for not being obese anymore, but the hair mixed with the paleness and the outfit makes us think of a bad tranny and we're floored that E! hire this to co-host a FASHION based TV show. Awkward that her boyfriend is more feminine than her huh?

[Image via REX]

Monday, September 16, 2013

XTINA IS STILL OUR CURRENT IMPROVER FAVE!

Xtina is literally on fire at the moment and we can't believe how much difference a year makes! Christina Aguilera was seen promoting her latest fragrance over the weekend in LA and bitch was looking fierce in a skin tight LBD with cut-out panels. It looks like the songstress and The Voice coach finally had enough of the haters and is now flipping them one fuck off middle finger. Let's hope she keeps the weight off this time cause nobody wants to look at a whale.

[Image via TWITTER]

Friday, September 13, 2013

LOOKS LIKE IT'S STILL EATING FOR TWO...

Seriously did Jessica Simpson go and eat her kids or something? The former singer and now food addict was snapped out to dinner in NYC recently (shocker) and boy did she look a world away from her Newlywed days. We literally don't know if she's pregnant or not cause it seemed like she was carrying a whole litter last time, but whatever she's got planned for the future we hope a diet's in the mix somewhere. Come on Jess don't you miss seeing your feet?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

Thursday, September 12, 2013

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS BEYONCE'S SISTER?

Come on guys let's face it cause poor old Solange Knowles doesn't really stand a chance when Beyonce's her sister. Although she's a less annoying and not a diva bitch it really ain't something we like to look at for too long. We get that she's embracing her natural hair and giving the finger to weaves, but we think the presence of one would actually soften up her mannish features. Like we said she puts out some cool tunes but that fuck off strong jaw is making us think something else is between it's legs.

[Image via SPLASH]

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

HOW THE FUCK DID THIS EVER GET ON 90210?!

This poor bitch has to be one of the most unfortunate looking birds out there and we really don't get how Tori Spelling ever landed a role on Beverly Hills 90210 in the first place...oh yeah cause her dad created the show. The funny looking actress was papped doing her weekly grocery shop in LA and looked butters as usual bless her. You think she'd at least get her roots done seeing as she wipes her shitter with 50s no?

[Image via XPOSURE]

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING?

Carol McGiffin is one fucking ugly bird and we don't give a shit if that's offensive cause our faces are offended from having to see her mug on the box. The rough TV host is currently on Celebrity Big Brother and as usual she's looking like her dog rough slapper self. Seriously though we don't even know what it is and we're being serious.

[Image via REX]

Monday, September 09, 2013

WE AIN'T RUBBING A MAGIC LAMP FOR THIS!

Now we LOVE us some Nene Leakes but lady often looks like a fuck off drag queen and on this occasion the bitch got the look spot on. The outspoken Real Housewives star was seen on the set of Extra the other day rocking a new hairpiece and let's just say it didn't do her any favors. With the addition of the double chin that perfectly finishes this look off, we think it's safe to say that this genie should stay inside the magic lamp.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

Friday, September 06, 2013

NO FOLKS THIS AIN'T KATIE PRICE'S DAUGHTER

Okay so what the FUCK was Courtney Stodden thinking when she got these implants and more importantly what kind of surgeon actually agrees to put em in? The plastic fantastic bimbo was seen sunbathing in the Big Brother garden as she's currently appearing in the British reality show and boy are those melons big. We're guessing she was going for a really natural look and what's up with the pussy brushing?

[Image via CHANNEL 5]

Thursday, September 05, 2013

GATSBY WON'T FUCK YOU LIKE THIS HONEY!

Oh dear this ain't a very good snap of Carey Mulligan is it people? The posh British actress was papped arriving at LAX with her Mumford & Sons hubby and bitch looked rough as shit. We had to do a second take at first cause we couldn't actually believe she was this plain minus the slap! What the hell would Leo say to this people?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

THE DIVINE MISS M HAS GOT ONE BIG RACK!

Now you just gotta love Bette Midler cause the fag hag is totes hilare, but the other day the poor bitch went swimming whilst on vacay and wore THE most unflattering bathing suit. The all round talent was seen splashing around in the ocean and according to sources even the dolphins were getting hard at the sight of her fuck off erect nips. For a bird that's almost 70 years old she is packing some serious knockers. We are totes thinking that Wind Beneath My Tits is way more appropriate after seeing this...we love you Bette!

[Image via SPLASH]

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

MORE LIKE DYKE UP YOUR LIFE!

It's kinda shocking that we've never featured Mel C on The Sizzling Mess before, but when we clapped eyes on the above snap of her jogging around London recently her luck ran out. What the fuck is it wearing for a start and we know you're only running love but did you need to dress like a butters dyke who's partially sighted? We're not really sure what she does anymore but she could totes do with some ProActiv too.

[Image via INF]

Monday, September 02, 2013

LOOK IT'S THE MAD HATTER GONE WRONG!

How the fuck can Perez Hilton be judgmental when he looks like a fucking butters tranny? The bitchy queen was seen filming something for his crappy blog in LA the other day and calling it ugly would be a fuck off huge understatement. We just don't know what it is people? Even though it's lost 20 stone there's still button strain, moobs and belly rolls. This queen just makes our stomachs turn if we're honest.

[Image via PEREZ HILTON]