SINCE WHEN DID DIANA HAVE A MULLET?

Following a pretty shit attempt to be Princess Diana in the new movie Diana (too creative), actress Naomi Watts graced the cover of In Style although something looks a little off. Wouldn't have something more classic looked better seeing as she's promoting a movie about a fucking princess? Also what's the with Scandinavian dyke hair and make up cause it looks nasty and don't suit Naomi at all. Now of course we always think we know best, but in this case bitch don't look hot. Just sayin'.

[Image via IN STYLE]

MILEY HONEY...YOU JUST AIN'T SEXY!

It totally escapes us as to why so many people think Miley Cyrus is hot cause all we see is a wannabe try hard with too many teeth trying to perform fellatio on a sledgehammer. The pop star can be seen in an outtake from her slutty video for Wrecking Ball and it's safe to say bitch looks like a chipmunk with an STD. We think Liam is totes better off without the skank.

[Image via RCA]

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?

Nice teeth honey! This definitely gives dog a new meaning cause Jade Goody's mother Jackiey Budden was papped looking rough as pure shite recently. Jesus do you all remember when Jade paid for her mom to have a makeover? Nice to know she took it seriously huh! Good old Jackiey was back to her rough dyke self when she went shopping the other day, but this seriously takes fugly to another level. Like don't even bother leaving your house when you look like this cause you've gone and offended us bitch. It's the kind of "woman" who's proud of glassing another bird outside her local for shagging her fella. Urgh we can't deal with this amount of common.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

WTF DID ANNA WINTOUR DO TO SANDY?

Okay so don't get it twisted cause we LOVE actress Sandra Bullock as much as the next mofo, but we really ain't feeling her latest Vogue cover. We're not sure what Anna was going for with this photo but we think she looks more like a dykey elf who's related to Enya than fashion cover girl. Is it just us who's seeing this cause Sandy usually looks stunning? What a fucking bad choice for the cover though guys.

[Image via VOGUE]

MORE LIKE DYKE UP YOUR LIFE!

It's kinda shocking that we've never featured Mel C on The Sizzling Mess before, but when we clapped eyes on the above snap of her jogging around London recently her luck ran out. What the fuck is it wearing for a start and we know you're only running love but did you need to dress like a butters dyke who's partially sighted? We're not really sure what she does anymore but she could totes do with some ProActiv too.

[Image via INF]

WHEN HARRY MET A VERY BOTOXED SALLY

Oh honey what have you done to your face? Meg Ryan was never the biggest looker and we've always thought she kinda looked like the Joker from Batman with a pussy, but when the actress was papped recently at a film festival in Italy she looked like a human fucking candle. The clown smile, trout pout, puffy cheeks and waxy appearance ain't a good look and this bitch either needs to tone it down or change her surgeon cause they're not worth the money. What the fuck would Harry say if he saw this shit?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WE CAN'T STOP...HATIN' ON THIS FOLLOWER

For some reason we've never liked Miley Cyrus cause she looks like a cunt who'd deck you in the school cafeteria for giving her the wrong look. Anyway the singer who achieved fame through her hick daddy was snapped working the red carpet at a promo event for her new album in LA recently and the woman looked a fool. The hair was all wrong and does she think she's black now with that grill? Someone needs to tell the bitch that the rock chick look she's sporting doesn't work when you're from a family who plucks chickens for dinner. We can't tell whether she's a young star in Hollywood or a dyke from Norway who owns a tattoo parlor, but what we do know is that it's trying way too hard and looks lame.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

THE POOR KID DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE

No we don't mean that cause Cynthia Nixon likes to munch on carpet, but because of the way the bitch looks. Don't get it twisted cause we love us some Miranda but lately the actress has totally let herself go and is often seen wandering the streets of NYC looking a total dyke mess. On this occasion however she left her Home Depot overalls in the closet and threw on a dress and some wedges (the horror) and she didn't look all that bad. The poor bitch did look dog rough though as she pushed her carrot top kid around in a stroller whilst shopping for a new drill. We miss the androgynous wardrobe Miranda used to sport!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

LEAVE THIS ONE OUT THE PICK N MIX PLEASE

Jesy Nelson from that totally shit band Little Mix (twats) really ain't a looker is she? The former X Factor contestant was papped leaving her gaff in London and it looked a total lesbo mess. It seems this bitch can't do anything cause no matter what she wears it looks like she eats pussy and not in the cool Madonna way. On this occasion she left her tool belt at home and sported knee high socks (vom on these chipolata thighs), a perm even Mariah would've judged and no pants. That's right, she thinks she's hot enough to go without pants but her mirror is def talking shit behind her back.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

YOU WOULDN'T WANT THIS TO FART NEAR YOU

Lena Dunham aka the annoying feminist dyke from HBO's Girls has got one hell of a nasty physique and although some readers think we hate on people cause we hate ourselves we don't care...these thighs are making us gag. Sorry but if you're morbidly obese from the neck down you shouldn't wear denim shorts and strut around Manhattan thinking you're hot. We kinda like the show but both this bitch and her character can get kinda annoying.

[Image via JOSE PEREZ]

EVEN HANNAH LOOKS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT

Bless her! We love us some Lena Dunham but the other day it was papped arriving to the set of Girls and it looked a total dyke mess. It's common knowledge the girl ain't no looker, but we're more puzzled as to why it's such a pig at only 26 years old? Do girls these days not understand that in order to achieve happiness and get hot guys they need to be a size 10 max? Like we said we love her creative genius but not eating would help.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

EVEN ROSEANNE HAS AGED BETTER

Surely you all remember the annoying bitch sister from Roseanne called Jackie? Well if you look at the left pic of actress Laurie Metcalf when she looked let's say manageable without vomming, you can see that the past decade and a bit haven't been kind to the poor bitch cause it's become a right dog. The rank hair, clown face and teeth ain't gonna help this lady get any action anytime soon. Give yourself a makeover honey cause you need one.

[Image via ABC/WIRE]

MAYBE SHE'S GOT A NORWEGIAN TWIN?

Oh dear honey. Miley Cyrus was recently papped walking the streets of NYC and the poor thing looked so try hard it was almost laughable. The singer (if miming counts) seems to be favoring the grunge style of late, although bitch clearly didn't get the memo that if you're from Tennessee, it doesn't really work. The country bumpkin (hick that fucks her cousin) looked more like a trashy dyke from Norway than a teen pop sensation. To top it off, her boots just made her look like Coco The Clown on LSD. All we're thinking is what a dickhead.

[Image via SPLASH]

AT LEAST IT DOESN'T WEAR A TOOL BELT

Ah the wonders of a stylist in Hollywood! Cynthia Nixon aka the dirty dyke who played Miranda in Sex And The City was once again papped walking the streets of NYC looking like a total lesbo mess. The actress shaved her head earlier this year and thankfully it's grown back rather quickly, but that doesn't really excuse this total fail of an outfit. How can someone look so good and then just turn into something so fucking rank?

[Image via WARNER BROS/SPLASH]

EVEN MIRANDA MAKES THIS LOOK BAD

First off, we gotta hand it to Cynthia Nixon for actually shaving all her hair off to play a cancer victim in a broadway play. However, the poor bitch is looking pretty rough lately and we don't get why she looks so much older than the rest of the Sex & The City cast? Maybe it has something to do with the shaved head, but the poor thing looked rank when she showed up to a charity event in NYC recently. There's nothing in particular that sticks out in a bad way, but she just looks like a sewer rat.

[Image via GETTY]