YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA BE COCO CHANEL!

Liza Minnelli gets a lot of heat from us but if you look like this then you're bound to be our favorite hot mess. The campy singer was seen attending a charity event in NYC the other night and judging by the above snap she was trying to channel Coco Chanel and failed miserably as per usual. The dressy hat, curled sideburn, fake beauty mark and excess pearls screamed drag queen and as usual the deluded star thought she'd looked a million dollars. You've gotta love hot mess fag hag who thinks she's the shit though!

[Image via GETTY]

WE CAN'T FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT FOR ELT...

Poor old Elton John was finally snapped out shopping in LA the other without his famous round spectacles and let's just say we now get why he wears them all the time. The campy legend was seen browsing a wig store (shocker) in the Hollywood area and we're hoping he was planning to replace the dodgy rug he was papped wearing. What's going on with that bloodshot eye though and you'd think with all his dosh he'd get those eye bags removed wouldn't you?

[Image via GOLDEN EYE]

MR GRAVITY EVEN HATES ON 60'S ICONS!

Twiggy used to be known for her waif like figure and big eyed appearance, but fast forward 40 ish years and you can see that we do in fact live in a cruel world. The former model was seen running errands around London and although we know she's not 20 anymore the woman looked rough. At least brush your hair and lift the chin up when you know there's paps around.

[Image via GETTY/FLYNET]

DAMN IT LIZA YOU WERE SO CLOSE THIS TIME!

Okay y'all know that we LOVE us some Liza Minnelli but at the Oscars on Sunday the campy singer rocked up wearing a blue ensemble (notice the blue hair steak too) and yet again slightly missed the mark. While we can't deny her hair and make-up looked damn fine for a old broad who's close to 70, the fact that she forgot to wear a bra which showed off her massive erect nipple kinda ruined the moment and made onlookers gag. We also can't deal with the shoes cause they make her look like she's got a dodgy club foot. Anyway we totes thought Liza brought her A game, but as always the humor crept in again cause we just can't take her seriously.

[Image via AP]

OH MANDY, WHAT'S BARRY DONE TO HIMSELF?

Barry Manilow has always had that high maintenance pedophile kinda look about him and it was no different the other day when it stepped out looking like a total freak of nature. The singer was seen running errands around Palm Springs and boy did he look odd to say the least. What we don't get is why he'd have all that plastic surgery and not get the fuck off massive Jew nose fixed? Even that ear lives in it's own zip code and those cheeks look suspiciously plump for a dude who's almost 70 years old. We think it's best when men go au naturel and this case is no different...oh and FYI Barry we know you're wearing a rug on your head.

[Image via SPLASH]

EVEN ANNIE HALL WOULD THINK IT'S A MESS

There ain't enough words to describe how much love we have for Diane Keaton cause she's totes a ledge, but someone needs to tell the poor thing that dressing like Charlie Chaplan ain't cool when you're only 5 years away from being wheelchair bound. We know this bitch will always be quirky but it really didn't work when she was papped arriving at a Miley Cyrus concert (we just lost some respect for her) with her actress buddy Sarah Paulson aka the annoying witch who goes blind from American Horror Story. Anyhow we hope Diane had a good time and her ears didn't bleed too much, but next time please don't dress like an idiot.

ALL THAT $$$ AND IT'S STILL CHEAP AS FUCK

Poor old Mariah Carey can never quite seem to get it just right in the class department cause despite having a personal fortune of almost $600 million she still looks like a $2 hooker in drag at times. MC was snapped knocking out a tune at the recent BET awards and appeared to have taken some major inspiration from Jessica Rabbit. It's kinda awkward when a cartoon wins in the sexy stakes though and the seams on this dress must've been screaming for help.

[Image via SPLASH]

MOMMIE DEAREST AIN'T LOOKING SO GOOD

To open the new year we found this corker of old Hollywood legend Faye Dunaway leaving her hotel in London a few days ago. The former actress had either got gang raped on New Year's Eve and done too much coke or simply just aged terribly. Her once razor sharp features have been replaced with tight looking skin covered in liver spots and what's going on with that mammoth ear? We also didn't know that 72 year old stars are now dressing like chavs.

[Image via GREG BRENNAN]

THIS JUST CANNOT BE LEGEND WHITNEY!

We kinda hate the last tour Whitney Houston did before she died cause not only was it her worst vocal performance, but the woman looked horrendous. The ridiculously talented and now deceased singer was papped doing her show in London back in 2010 and you literally can't tell who it is to be honest. Where the hell did her cheekbones disappear to guys? Such a shame cause music is such shit nowadays. Just sayin.'

[Image via GETTY]

THE DIVINE MISS M HAS GOT ONE BIG RACK!

Now you just gotta love Bette Midler cause the fag hag is totes hilare, but the other day the poor bitch went swimming whilst on vacay and wore THE most unflattering bathing suit. The all round talent was seen splashing around in the ocean and according to sources even the dolphins were getting hard at the sight of her fuck off erect nips. For a bird that's almost 70 years old she is packing some serious knockers. We are totes thinking that Wind Beneath My Tits is way more appropriate after seeing this...we love you Bette!

[Image via SPLASH]

YOU AIN'T 25 YEARS OLD ANYMORE HONEY

Seriously what the fuck does Madonna think she looks like? The singer was snapped vacaying in Italy recently and for some reason she thought it'd look cool to sport a grille like Rihanna. We would of referenced Miley but it doesn't work on that bitch either...another story in itself. Anyhow the past-it slapper appeared to have had a little more work done to her famous mug cause her cheeks were plumped up like hell and it's pretty much impossible for a 55 year old to be wrinkle free. It's a shame she's so irrelevant now, but maybe if she ditched the hooker look and went for something more age appropriate audiences would start to embrace her again?

[Image via AP]

WHO WOULD APPLAUSE FOR THIS MESS?

Oh dear what happened here Lady GaGa? The songstress was seen arriving at a radio station in LA the other day to promote her new gayer than life club tune and looked like a fucking state. We're not sure what the look is for this new era, but we think it's safe to say that even regular clowns will be offended by this shit. The way this bitch dresses does nothing to convince haters that she was in fact born with a pussy and not a fuck off dick. She could of at least finished the look off with a daisy in her hair and clown shoes no?

[Image via WENN]

LIFE IS A BUTTERS CABARET DARLING!

Liza Minnelli has got one of those faces that just doesn't look good period. It don't matter if you slap it up with 3 inches of warpaint or go bare, it's gonna look rough as fucking shite. The legendary fag hag was snapped leaving an NYC eatery during the week and according to sources a couple paparazzi photographers screamed and fainted in shock. Maybe if she lost the rank eyebrows, stopped with the surgery, changed that fucking dyke mullet hair and got her teeth whitened, we could be persuaded to write something nice. Surely she knows our approval means more than winning a Tony award?

[Image via FLYNET]

AS IF THIS THING WASN'T FUGLY ENOUGH HUH?

We'd love to see inside the mind of Pete Burns for just 5 minutes cause we're guessing we'd either "get it" or be completely disgusted. All we ever think of when looking at him is "WTF is it?!" but we're just gonna give in and go with weird fuck off shemale. The former singer from Dead or Alive can be seen being interviewed for a new TV special and boy does it look fucking weird. He kinda looks like a reject Shakespears Sister member with a dick or one ugly mermaid. How the fuck does he eat with those lips and wipe his asshole with those creepy ass nails?

[Image via CHANNEL 5]

BEING MURDERED IS BETTER THAN THIS!

Seriously what the fuck happened here love? Angela Lansbury is the LEGENDARY fierce bitch who portrays weird talking detective Jessica Fletcher in the classic TV show Murder, She Wrote but lady weren't looking so fierce the other night. The talented OAP was papped walking the red carpet at some charity event in NYC and although bitch is nearly 90, which is why we'll ignore those fuck off wrinkles, her make-up artist clearly wanted to show her up that night. What could of been an opportunity look shit hot turned into a disaster and Angie ended up looking like a clown in drag. Who knew Mrs. Potts could've been a dude?

[Image via GETTY]

GOOD LORD YOU SURE AIN'T BEAUTIFUL!

Holy shit balls, Mimi is one hell of a yo-yo dieter that's for sure! Mariah Carey was snapped leaving a TV studio in NYC this past week and it looked totally different from her latest music video featuring fellow singer Miguel. Gone was the flowing shiny hair, hot body and skimpy outfits and in it's place was a frumpy fat average mom (we know we'll get hate for that but fuck it) with a bad 80s perm. We literally don't get how this bitch can go from looking so hot to a complete mess who needs to go back in the time machine.

[Image via X17]

SHE WAS BORN TO MAKE Y'ALL CRINGE!

Uh huh, we're thinking the same thing as you guys. How did Britney Spears fall from grace and become such a fucking hot mess? Now that Xtina is getting her weight issues together it seems Britters has once again fallen off the diet wagon and while it ain't fat she sure as hell ain't as hot compared to her early days. The pop star was snapped rehearsing an upcoming special performance to promote the new Smurfs 2 movie which she recorded a shit song for and her outfit was tacky as fuck. Can someone please tell us why the stylist thought it would be a good idea to put her her in a bra, denim mini-skirt and white patent leather boots? This look just screams cheap hooker and lady is too old and chubby to pull it off anymore.

[Image via TMZ]

YOU KNOW JUDY CRIED WHEN THIS CAME OUT

To this day we still don't get why Liza Minnelli is considered a legend (or fag icon) cause the bitch can't hold a note to save her fucking life. The overpaid fag hag was papped at the Tony Awards (shocker) in NYC recently and it looked like a gay Bilbo Baggins covered in glitter. The old broad seemed to have had more plastic surgery since the last time we saw her too, but we don't get why she'd make her already fucked up face look worse?

[Image via WENN]

BITCH HAS KNOCKED IT OUT THE PARK!

Sorry if you hate Xtina but we simply can't ignore how good lady is looking lately. Christina Aguilera was seen rocking the stage at the Billboard Music Awards in Vegas last weekend and bitch has dropped some serious pounds. The singer and judge on The Voice will hopefully keep it up cause we'd hate to put her back in our top 10...or would we?

[Image via AP]

EVEN WE DON'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT XTINA!

Okay so hell must've just frozen over cause Christina Aguilera was seen out again (yes again) looking totes amaze balls! The talented coach of The Voice was seen out shopping in West Hollywood with that guy who's living off her (Matt something) and bitch looked pretty damn good. The whale thighs are slowly shrinking and according to sources she's now able to paint her own toe nails for the first time in years...hoorah! All jokes aside though, lady is getting her shit together and buying clothes in the right size and we'd like to think it's cause she reads The Sizzling Mess.

[Image via XPOSURE]