VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

POSH WILL ALWAYS BE A DIRTY WAG AT HEART

People seem to think that Victoria Beckham has always been chic, but if you literally go back about 5 years you can see that she was cheap as fuck. The WAG turned fashion designer can be seen at The Prince's Trust event back in 2005 and boy did it look cheap. The birds nest extensions, orange tan, tacky accessories, slutty gown and French manicure (quiver) is a world away from her current look. It just goes to show how much styles can change! Wonder what happened to natural DD tits too?

[Image via WENN]

FOR ONCE VICKY B GETS IT SO WRONG

It may happen once in a blue moon but Victoria Beckham stepped out looking not so great recently. The fashion "designer" was seen strolling around London in a jacket made of hot air balloons and a pair of jeans that did her match stick pins NO favors whatsoever. To finish off this fashion fail look her feet looked like they belonged to Coco The Clown rather than an international fashion icon. Better luck next time hey Vicky!

[Image via SPLASH]

SHE HASN'T CHANGED A BIT HAS SHE?

Wow. Victoria Beckham really is insulting the world's intelligence when she continually insists that her rack is natural. You only have to look at the above to see that both her figure and tits are practically identical. Let's be real though cause this is another case of what we like to call ACS (Alexa Chung syndrome) aka a fucked up level of denial. Now don't get it twisted, Posh wasn't a fat cunt when she was younger, but she sure as hell weren't no size zero. Oh and if you think you can have tits like that after 4 kids and still be able to fit into kids clothes, you're a really bad liar and a fucking idiot.

[Image via GETTY/REX FEATURES]

TOO MUCH OF NOTHING = SIZE ZERO

Poor old Vicky B aka Victoria Beckham is looking proper tired these days ennit. The mum of (we think it's around 5 sprogs now) was snapped looking VERY chubby at a recent event in NYC wearing a STUNNING dress. Now we gotta say that Mrs Beckham looks great most of the time, but this outfit was just a total mess. The "natural" tan, protruding collar bone (fucking rank) and oily skin looked a right state. On a more positive note, we hear that Posh is apparently dressing lots of stars for the Oscars. We can just picture it...baby Harper sucking silicone from one of her tits, while she sits at her sewing machine banging out couture till the wee hours of morning. Ah she's such an inspiration!

[Image via WIRE]

POSH SPICE IN DISGUISE

There ain't many (recent) sizzling mess photos of Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B, but we felt that the (naturally) skinny "designer" looked common as muck with a slight slapper edge in this one. Looking at these (natural) melons just makes her look more of a twat for ever denying she had bap surgery. The "excessively talented" B- Lister (no Vicky you'll never make A) was seen vacationing in Marbella when the FLATTERING pic was snapped. Oh, don't they look subtle in that CLASSY top? We know she secretly wants to pretend like these photos don't exist, but we just can't let them slide.

[Image via GOFF]

CLASSY MICHELLE

Although these photos are vintage, you gotta hand it to ultra DOG ROUGH slapper Michelle Heaton for even leaving her (council) house. Like good ole Natalie Cassidy, it don't matter whether she's Victoria Beckham or Kirstie Alley, she is just plagued with a ROUGH lookin' mug (entire body). We were even more appalled to learn that Michelle (quiver) opened a personal styling company (we're serious) back in 2009. Word is that she initially found the workload too stressful, what with juggling the company and her shifts at River Island, but apparently this was solved by cutting down her hours. Well a girls gotta pay the leccy bill somehow! She's just TOO beyond in every way for us to comment further.

[Images via MATRIX]