DID MISCHA EAT MARISSA OR SOMETHING?

Okay seriously Mischa Barton what the fuck happened to you? The actress who was once known for playing regulation hottie Marissa Cooper in The OC was seen grabbing lunch in LA the other day and she's totes piled on the pounds. Even her poor dog looked on with an expression of disgust as she clutched at her burger and Starbucks drink. You need to ditch the junk food, hire a trainer and stop eating cause otherwise you're headed for Kirstie Alley territory.

[Image via X17]

EWWW PLEASE JUST STOP WEARING SHORTS!

Something must be hiding inside Lena Dunham's thighs cause that shape just ain't normal for a white girl unless she majorly lucked out on the gene lottery. Seriously though this bitch makes Nicki Minaj look anorexic. The annoying main star of HBO show Girls was seen walking (those poor shoes) in NYC wearing some horrific shorts that showcased her nasty legs and God knows what else from behind. Furthermore we noticed how oddly shaped her midriff is and how small her tits are...it's like the textbook definition of a pear shape but gone wrong. We get that she's a good writer and bla bla bla, but all we really wanna do is shove a sock in her mouth.

[Image via SPLASH]

WE LOVE A WOMAN WITH AN ANKLE TATTOO

Angela Raiola aka Big Ang seems to get uglier by the minute cause judging from the latest pics of her sunning her massive tits on the beach in Florida she's got even more scary. The big lipped and full chested Italian reality star is mainly known for getting drunk, sucking cock and saying outrageous shit...but this is of course why we love her. You've gotta love a legend even when they're cheap as fuck and sport tattoos above their pussies.

[Image via SPLASH]

THIS BIRD WAS BORN TO BE ON CORRIE...

When you're born in Leeds you've never got much chance of being classy and good old Beverly Callard from Corrie is living proof of this. The rough Northern bitch was papped leaving her local pub in Manchester the other night and looked like an old slapper who loves cock to say the least. We heard that she glassed a younger girl in the face for trying to chat up her fella...allegedly. The tacky metallic dress, rank gold nails and campy pose are what this woman is known for and we doubt she'll ever change. You've gotta love a rough bit who tries though don't you?

[Image via REX]

DOES THIS SKANK NOT LEARN ANYTHING?

Seriously does Lauren Goodger actually think resembling a perma-tanned pig is a good look cause we're confused? The whale was papped leaving a club in Essex (classy) the other night and as per usual she was sporting another ill fitting outfit, thunder thighs and huge color differences all over her body. You'd think that with money and seeing yourself pretty much everyday in pap shots would be enough to tell you that you're failed beauty routine needs reassessing. Just sayin'.

[Image via LUMINOUS]

SERIOUSLY HONEY LOOK IN THE MIRROR...

We honestly don't understand what Lauren Goodger see's when she looks in the mirror cause it don't look good to the general public. The tacky and tanned reality star was papped leaving a party in Essex recently and once again her legs looked toxic in comparison to the rest of her body. We're also not sure what the fuck is going on with her lips cause it looks like the bitch got stung by a bee. Everything about this look is just gross and the Louboutin's just add to the tacky factor cause they're so 2007 WAG now.

[Image via XPOSURE]

THE DIVINE MISS M HAS GOT ONE BIG RACK!

Now you just gotta love Bette Midler cause the fag hag is totes hilare, but the other day the poor bitch went swimming whilst on vacay and wore THE most unflattering bathing suit. The all round talent was seen splashing around in the ocean and according to sources even the dolphins were getting hard at the sight of her fuck off erect nips. For a bird that's almost 70 years old she is packing some serious knockers. We are totes thinking that Wind Beneath My Tits is way more appropriate after seeing this...we love you Bette!

[Image via SPLASH]

WHEN CHANDLER BUMPED INTO CHRIS BROWN

It's definitely a random cross of paths but according to our eyes Matthew Perry bumped into Chris Brown the other day when leaving LAX airport and it looks like the wife beater is finally doing a job more suitable. Now we're not being racist and this has nothing to do with the fact that he's black (for the rude bunch), but simply because every woman he's dated has a tendency to "walk into doors" ahem. Anyway the real news value in this story is that Matt is now fat and old, Chris is a cunt and Jennifer Aniston will always be the hottest FRIENDS cast member.

[Image via FLYNET]

EARTHQUAKE OR IS MISCHA ON THE MOVE?

Who knew that Mischa Barton would leave The OC and become so fucking fat? While we'll always have a soft spot for Marissa and her fuck off razor sharp cheekbones (well not anymore), we seriously can't excuse her for sporting these nasty ass whale thighs. Also what the fuck did she think when she put on skinny jeans? We ain't feeling the silver metallic winkle pickers either honey so please just hire Rachel Zoe again and stop eating.

[Image via SPLASH]

HEARING MY BONES CLICK MAKES ME HAPPY!

You know that Alexa Chung is just a fame hungry half Chinese chick who loves king prawn fried rice but won't ever eat the fucker. The former T4 presenter (she wants people to forget about that) was snapped having a crafty fag after yet another day of starvation on the streets of Brooklyn and boy did the bitch look ill. It must be so tiresome being such a trendsetting NYC hipster, so we're guessing she just doesn't have time to eat? Oh and FYI Alexa, you're from Hampshire or somewhere in China so it doesn't really work love. Either cover up those rank legs or just admit you know how many calories are in toothpaste cause everyone knows you're fat inside. Oh and if there's an annoying PC person reading this, we ain't racist cause we had a Chinese last night.

[Image via X17]

EVEN AGING HOT GUYS AREN'T SAFE...

What the fuck happened to Nick Stokes guys? Okay we totes get that he's not a real person but the actor, George Eads, has full on let himself go in recent episodes of hit TV show CSI. Even during one of his many postmortems we used to get TV screen envy, but lately we don't know what it is to be honest. The serial killer haircut, bloated facial features and puffy eyes ain't making us wanna blow him anytime soon. Such a shame when you look at the left pic too...we owe our thanks once again to a couple of cunts called time and gravity.

[Image via WIRE/CBS]

BEING MURDERED IS BETTER THAN THIS!

Seriously what the fuck happened here love? Angela Lansbury is the LEGENDARY fierce bitch who portrays weird talking detective Jessica Fletcher in the classic TV show Murder, She Wrote but lady weren't looking so fierce the other night. The talented OAP was papped walking the red carpet at some charity event in NYC and although bitch is nearly 90, which is why we'll ignore those fuck off wrinkles, her make-up artist clearly wanted to show her up that night. What could of been an opportunity look shit hot turned into a disaster and Angie ended up looking like a clown in drag. Who knew Mrs. Potts could've been a dude?

[Image via GETTY]

MORE LIKE JENNIFER MANISTON RIGHT GUYS?

Okay so we've never really understood the fascination with Jennifer Aniston cause let's face it; she's an average actress who got lucky at best and while she can sometimes look cute we've never been a fan of a woman with a strong jaw. The former FRIENDS star was seen filming a new movie in NYC over the weekend and sported a wig that made onlookers do a double take cause lady resembled a full on dude in drag. The only thing missing from this clownish look was a five o'clock shadow, but at least we know that Jen can't pull off every hairstyle out there. Did you clock her fuck off massive engagement ring too? Must be nice to have lots of money ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

WOULD MONICA STILL WANNA MARRY THIS?

Chandler what the fuck happened? Matthew Perry from TV show FRIENDS was seen on vacay with his bird recently and boy did he look different. He was never super hot or anything but boy he certainly looked old and rough whilst waiting to see if a jet ski could hold his mammoth weight. Get on the dermal fillers like Courteney Cox and you'll better in no time.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

SHANNEN DEF NEEDS THE BOOK OF SHADOWS

We gotta admit that Prue was our favorite witch on Charmed back in the day, but we kinda imagined that she would've aged a little better than this shit. Shannen Doherty who used to portray the witch with bitch attitude was seen at a recent event in LA and lady has aged so badly it makes us sad. Everything from the 80s barnet to the deep crows feet look horrendous, but more importantly what's going on with her nasty horse teeth? Screw personal gain, we think an age reversal spell is needed here.

[Image via WIRE]

HOW'S YOUR "CLOTHING LINE" GOING HONEY?

Now we've never seen the big deal with this bitch cause even though she's got a nice set of pins and we'd happily give her one, it really ain't all that underneath the cake mix. Whitney Port aka the boring slut from MTV's The City was papped getting a massage in LA recently and the poor thing looked rough as fuck. Aside from her usual down-syndrome eyes, it looked like she'd had a run-in with Chris Brown and we don't even know what's going on with the tongue. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid as to turn down advice from fellow reality star Olivia Palermo she'd look a lot better.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

PIGS ARE DIGGIN' MAGALUF THIS YEAR...

At least it's half covered up right? Gemma Collins aka the walking walrus from Essex was papped on vacay with her fellow dumb ass buddies in the culture filled island of Magaluf and once again it looked like a stick of butter playing dress-up. The reality TV fatty was seen walking (yes walking) around her resort and according to a source people fell off their sun beds due to the mini earthquake-like sensation. Oh the embarrassment to cause such situations huh? We can't even imagine how sweaty this bitch's muff must of got from being abroad. Ya major fucking ew.

[Image via SPLASH]

EVEN HANNAH LOOKS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT

Bless her! We love us some Lena Dunham but the other day it was papped arriving to the set of Girls and it looked a total dyke mess. It's common knowledge the girl ain't no looker, but we're more puzzled as to why it's such a pig at only 26 years old? Do girls these days not understand that in order to achieve happiness and get hot guys they need to be a size 10 max? Like we said we love her creative genius but not eating would help.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

WELL IT SEEMS THAT PIGS CAN ACTUALLY FLY

For the unculured bunch who don't know who Holly Hagan is, she's a reality TV star (pig in a wig) who stars on MTV show Geordie Show aka slags from the north. The tranny mess was seen arriving in Australia with her cast mates and it looked like a chubby clown whilst walking through the airport. Apparently a customs officer asked her if she had anything to declare and she replied "I'm a dog" so we've gotta give the bitch props for her humor. Oh, that's one evil face though.

[Image via INF]

WHO KNEW BLACK BEAUTY LIVED IN HARLOW

Joey Essex is the definition of a waste of space and for any of you who have bothered to even watch that Emmy worthy show The Only Way Is Essex you'll see that he's a closet fag who thinks he's hot. The reality TV "star" was seen running errands around the shit hole that is Essex and it looked liked he'd broken out of his stable cause his nashers looked evil as fuck. As we all know he's definitely "straight" so we're assuming he just keeps hay to nibble on in that "man bag" of his. Oh and does anyone else think he's got birds living in that nest he calls hair?

[Image via MAGIC MOMENTS]