PIGS CAN'T FLY...THEY CAN SWIM APPARENTLY

Oh man what does this bitch see when she looks in the mirror! Gemma Collins once again decided to buy a bikini that was 10 sizes too small and wear it on the beach in Dubai recently...she knows exactly what gets our hearts racing and stomachs churning. Seriously though y'all what the fuck is the woman thinking when she parades her lard ass body around looking like this? We're all for inner confidence but when you've got a second cleavage and are losing thing in your rolls of fat it's time to make a change. We're pretty sure the poor fuckers who saw this walrus are now in therapy or on a major diet.

[Image via SPLASH]

PIGS ARE DIGGIN' MAGALUF THIS YEAR...

At least it's half covered up right? Gemma Collins aka the walking walrus from Essex was papped on vacay with her fellow dumb ass buddies in the culture filled island of Magaluf and once again it looked like a stick of butter playing dress-up. The reality TV fatty was seen walking (yes walking) around her resort and according to a source people fell off their sun beds due to the mini earthquake-like sensation. Oh the embarrassment to cause such situations huh? We can't even imagine how sweaty this bitch's muff must of got from being abroad. Ya major fucking ew.

[Image via SPLASH]

HOW IS THIS BITCH NOT SKINNY ALREADY?

Okay we really don't get how there are always pictures of Gemms Collins "working out", yet the bitch still seems to resemble a walking whale from Essex. The reality TV porker was once again papped fake running through her local park in skin tight black lycra and although it wasn't white it didn't make her look good in anyway. Just looking at those vomit worthy rolls of fat and a double chin we could hide in is enough to make us purge to be honest. Usually when you exercise you lose weight so erm yeah we don't know what the deal is here.

[Image via TM MED]

PLEASE JUST PUT IT AWAY HONEY!

Gemma Collins always seems to be wearing gym gear and "working out" but at the same time still resembles a pig in a wig so what's the deal here? The reality star (funt) was papped leaving her local gym clutching a bottle of water and some obesity control tablets, but we're guessing she's not started taking them yet judging by the size of that fuck off belly. Oh, we actually just think the floor shook cause those thighs are fucking EVIL looking. Just quit with the pretending to work honey and go eat some more.

[Image via FLYNET]

FREE WILLY'S BOUGHT A WINTER WARDROBE

We really should be paying Gemma Collins cause whenever she leaves her gaff and we write a post our hits instantly increase. The classy Essex version of Free Willy was papped leaving her local offy after paying her lecky bill, as according to sources her electricity supply had been cut off due to the fact that she'd spent her monthly budget on food. Now she's very clever cause her whole ensemble is black, however that ain't hiding her EVIL looking thighs that most likely shook the whole road she was walking down. What's going on with those lovely eyebrows too? Oh dear, it's not easy it it fatty boom boom.

[Image via MATRIX]

DOES THIS THING NOT OWN A MIRROR?

Gemma Collins is really giving us a treat this week cause she left her gaff again to go to some tacky party in Essex and low and behold she looked a fucking state. The reality star (pig in a dress) appeared to have a major make-up malfunction cause her face looked red and blotchy and didn't match the rest of her lardish body. We've really given it to the whale lately but it looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards and then wanked on. How about you stay in more next week and eat from ya trough love?

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

BABE THE PIG WAS BASED ON THIS SHIT

Oh dear honey. Why does Gemma Collins continue wear clothing that's about 50 sizes too small for her? The reality TV star porker was snapped out to dinner with her whale of a boyfriend and it looked a fucking state. On top of having no neck and being so fat she's unworthy of love, she felt the need to show off her sausage legs so we could all bring up our brekkie. So considerate huh?

[Image via XPOSURE]

PIGS IN BLANKETS MUST HAIL FROM ESSEX

No one in this world should really be forced to have to see the above out and about. Gemma Collins aka Free Willy from the culture filled TV show TOWIE was papped walking around her native Essex doing some shopping that we're guessing was mostly food related. The two ton Tessie appeared to be wearing some discounted catalogue curtains as a dress cause the outfit looked cheap as chips. As always she gave onlookers something to purge about and made sure a little knee (or white kebab meat) was visible for everyone to see.

[Image via SPLASH]

NOT EVEN A ONE PIECE CAN SAVE IT

Everything about the above photo is just plain nasty. Gemma Collins aka the obese cunt from The Only Way Is Essex was papped on vacay in Malaga and she looked like a pig waiting to be tagged. What's even more disgusting is that the fat bitch was eating Cheetos and didn't seem the slightest bit embarrassed. This mess of a being should have her jaw wired up and shouldn't be allowed to touch solids for at least six months. If it's even lucky enough to get a boyfriend, we hope for the guys sake that she doesn't like doing 69's.

[Image via FLYNET]

WHALES SHOULD ONLY WEAR A ONCE PIECE

Urgh, did you really have to leave ya gaff wearing this mess of a get-up love? Essex slapper and walking whale Gemma Collins was pictured walking (shocker) whilst on vacay in Spain and she looked a right fess (fat mess). This bitch is built like a brick shit house and we don't get why she chose to wear this RANK bikini from Peacocks. It looks as though she's become so morbidly obese that she's grown a third tit too. We wouldn't wanna be near this when it farts that's for sure.

[Image via FLYNET]

MRS BLOBBY LIVES IN ESSEX

We've never even watched The Only Way Is Essex, but that fat bird/pig Gemma Collins really should be ashamed of her Michelin Man body. Yeah, we get that she's desperately trying to shed that extra 35 stone, but why the fuck did she borrow Victoria Beckham's workout clothes and not just nip down to Evans instead? Kudos to her for not staying home and eating her feelings, but put it away love, no one wants to see that mess of a body.

[Image via FLYNET]