VOICE OF AN ANGEL OR AVERAGE FARM GIRL?

Charlotte Church used to be kinda pretty back in her successful pop career days, but fast forward not even 10 years and what you see could easily be mistaken for an average looking farm girl en route to mucking out the pig troughs. The pissy gold hair, bloated face and tree trunk thighs is not exactly what you'd call a former pop star so we're not sure what's going on here? We know it shat out a kid but that was a while ago now so to be honest there ain't no excuse for looking like a overweight hippy who doesn't shower.

[Image via WENN]

BAGGY PUSSY OR THUNDER THIGHS?

Lily Allen has apparently started making music again...even though she said she was gonna retire before shitting out kids. Anyhow the singer must've ran outta money or something cause while her latest tune isn't the worst thing we've ever heard, the music video screams budget cut and they could've at least touched up her whale thighs in the editing room. What do we know though?

[Image via WARNER MUSIC]

WE'RE NOT SURE IF SHE'S STILL PREGGERS?

Adele is one of those birds who scrubs up super well for awards shows, but in her downtime she can look rough as shit. The rich as fuck singer was snapped running errands in London with her new sprog and it look rough bless her. We get that she's tired and her tits are sore, but brush her hair and swap that KFC for salad once in a while love. At least she's wearing trainers but we still can't picture this working out.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

LOOKS LIKE IT'S STILL EATING FOR TWO...

Seriously did Jessica Simpson go and eat her kids or something? The former singer and now food addict was snapped out to dinner in NYC recently (shocker) and boy did she look a world away from her Newlywed days. We literally don't know if she's pregnant or not cause it seemed like she was carrying a whole litter last time, but whatever she's got planned for the future we hope a diet's in the mix somewhere. Come on Jess don't you miss seeing your feet?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

THIS SHIT HAS TOTES GIVEN US THE FEAR!

It's no one wonder Lily Allen's career has gone down the toilet, cause it looks like the bitch has fucking eaten it along with tons of other shit. The crappy singer was papped walking (struggling too bless her) at the recent Glastonbury festival and we reckon she'd have faired better in a wheelchair. We know she's always been a bit on the porky side and had dumpy legs, but she clearly took "eating for two" way too literally. Don't fool us with those shoes either cause the only running you do is to the fridge and back.

[Image via BARCROFT]

BUFFY WOULDN'T HANG OUT WITH THIS NOW

Alyson Hannigan as we're sure you all know has recently had a baby, but the main issue here is that she still hasn't lost any of the baby weight since shitting it out. It's such an atrocious level of effort for a celebrity right? Okay we're clearly being a tad sarcastic here, but c'mon you could basically fuck Willow Summers in the chin now and it ain't hot. The actress was papped pushing her stroller round the streets of LA whilst in search for work, as according to industry sources she's become too disgusting and obese to get roles. Again this is sarcasm for all you dry fuckers who take us too seriously. Basically the point we're trying to get across here is that she's a ginga mess who needs to sort herself out.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHAT DOES JUSTIN SEE IN YOU?

We always thought Selena Gomez was a sexy (dirty Latina) import, but after seeing this shit we've had to majorly reassess cause bitch looks nasty sans the slap. Okay we get it's young and whatever but she looked like a big ole bloated mess whilst out on a shopping trip in LA recently and frankly we think Biebs can do a lot better. The overrated walking Disney billboard is apparently hard at work in the studio recording a new album, but to be honest all we give a shit about is when the pics of Justin fucking her leak.

[Image via EROTEME]