WHAT THE FUCK DID JUDE SEE IN THIS MESS?

It's kinda hard to believe that in her early days Sadie Frost was a model who earned thousands per day cause just the other day it stepped out and looked like a dog that'd been raped and cummed on to say the least. The gold diggin' slapper was papped at the launch for some new shitty kitchen range she'd designed and the poor bitch looked like a tired drag queen. We really can't imagine Jude giving this bitch one cause let's face it, she's plain as fuck and looks rough as arse holes. Granted she's probably a great mother to all her kids (who have different fathers) but pretty woman she ain't.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

EVEN A GREMLIN WOULDN'T FUCK THIS

Oh dear honey, did you come straight from killing Bill or something? Uma Thurman who used to be semi attractive was papped walking the streets of NYC looking for more rich guys to get pregnant by and the bitch looked fucking butters. Since hitting a goldmine with her latest baby daddy the actress doesn't seem to wanna work much anymore, but then again if you were wiping your ass with $100 bills would you? On a more serious note, we would like to offer our condolences to anyone who was involved in a car wreck whilst driving past this mess.

[Image via INF]

HOW DOES THIS BITCH JUDGE TALENT?

How in God's name did Amanda Holden aka the slapper with a good business brain land the gig of a judge on TV show Britain's Got Talent? The cheap whore was papped arriving at auditions recently and it looked as though the poor bitch walked out of a bad 80s time machine. The bangs and hooker outfit just solidify our theory that she's a cheap tart with zero talent herself. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]

IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A (HOUND) DOG

We're pretty sure that if Elvis was alive he'd be like what the fuck. Priscilla Presley has long been known for her love of plastic surgery, but it looks like she's taken it way too far these past few years. The former wife of the rock 'n' roll icon was papped out to dinner with friends in LA recently and she looked like a plastic ghost. The gold digger was stunning in her early years, but apparently she prefers looking like she's been embalmed. Each to their own, but this bitch definitely has a screw loose.

[Image via GETTY/SPLASH]

GOOD NEIGHBORS DON'T STEAL FOOD

Remember the days when singer/actress (containing laughter) Holly Valance shook her stuff around in the music video for her GREAT single Kiss Kiss? Well gone are those days judging by the bitch's double chin and thunder thighs. The former Neighbors star (such a shit show) was papped eating (we're shocked) in LA with billionaire fiance Nick Candy last week and according to sources she didn't leave a single crumb on her plate. She's a right crafty bitch marrying this guy, but to be honest if we were banging someone who had billions we'd be sure to marry them "for love" too. Give it 5 years tops and she'll be taking him to the fucking cleaners.

[Image via WENN]

MUST HURT WHEN YA DUMPED BY A GINGA

Surely you all remember socialite (gold digging whore) Chelsy Davy? She is of course the South African native who used to fuck Prince Harry (ginga with money). Anyway the STUNNER was snapped en route to work the other day and her baps were almost falling out of her dress. It looked as though it'd been a late one for Chelsy though, cause she looked rough as fuck and slightly hungover. Oh dear, such a difficult life minus Harry's gold card ennit.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

THE MASK OF SORROW

We all know that Catherine Zeta-Jones has had many stunning photo moments, but in this pic somethin' is definitely wrong. The actress (gold digger from Wales) was snapped walking the red carpet in NYC and her make-up artist was clearly pissed at her. From the buck teeth that make us wanna give her some hay and ride her to her chin aids, this bitch has certainly had better days. Is her make-up slave so lazy that they just threw a ton of bronzer on her? The poor thing even tried to save the look with some CLASSY lookin' earrings from last year's Christmas cracker, but it was just a major fail. At the end of the day it's just a cheap Welsh slapper.

[Image via GETTY]