NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THIS SHIT HONEY

Lauren Goodger is either really clever and has a fitness DVD in the works or she's just a fat mess who's more deluded than Madonna is about her career. The former TOWIE star was papped "working out" in clothing about 50 sizes too small and it really did look evil. To be honest we pity the poor onlookers who were trying to do their daily workout without bringing up their lunch. We just can't think of any men who would want to procreate with this mess.

[Image via FLYNET]

PICKING UP THE PIECES...OF BROKEN MIRROR

Holy shit balls peeps! Paloma Faith was looking fucking dog rough the other day whilst out on a run in Hyde Park and according to sources passers by were gagging cause bitch looked so fugly. Overall it's a bit annoying and he tunes are mediocre at best, but boy does the poor woman look like the back end of a bus without slap. The singer is known for her glam retro appearance and now we get why she cakes on so much shit.

[Image via GETTY]

TIME TO GET YOUR JAW WIRED UP HONEY

Oh no honey as if you left your gaff looking like this again. Lauren Goodger just never seems to learn and you think after getting the boot from TOWIE for being too fat she'd learn, but the woman still continues to stuff her fat face. What's more embarrassing is that the bitch ain't even 6 months along or anything...she's just that fucking obese. Next time stay away from dresses made out of elastic cause nobody want to see those rank curves hugged love.

[Image via FLYNET]

THIS DOG WILL SNORT A LINE IN 5 SECONDS

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson really puts the d-o-g in DOG cause bitch is a fucking mess and she better know it people. The coke whore former IT girl was snapped at a party in London recently and as usual it looked like a hot mess covered in crystal meth. First off we need to point out that she's only wearing one false eyelash, but we're guessing she pulled off the other one and rolled it up to snort a line? Allegedly for the lawyers reading this! We think it's pretty safe to say that Tara ain't go chance of looking good these days.

[Image via GETTY]

SHE WAS BORN TO MAKE Y'ALL CRINGE!

Uh huh, we're thinking the same thing as you guys. How did Britney Spears fall from grace and become such a fucking hot mess? Now that Xtina is getting her weight issues together it seems Britters has once again fallen off the diet wagon and while it ain't fat she sure as hell ain't as hot compared to her early days. The pop star was snapped rehearsing an upcoming special performance to promote the new Smurfs 2 movie which she recorded a shit song for and her outfit was tacky as fuck. Can someone please tell us why the stylist thought it would be a good idea to put her her in a bra, denim mini-skirt and white patent leather boots? This look just screams cheap hooker and lady is too old and chubby to pull it off anymore.

[Image via TMZ]

EVEN HANNAH LOOKS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT

Bless her! We love us some Lena Dunham but the other day it was papped arriving to the set of Girls and it looked a total dyke mess. It's common knowledge the girl ain't no looker, but we're more puzzled as to why it's such a pig at only 26 years old? Do girls these days not understand that in order to achieve happiness and get hot guys they need to be a size 10 max? Like we said we love her creative genius but not eating would help.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

SHE'LL ALWAYS BE A FAT ACTRESS

Can you all believe that this is in fact Kirstie Alley? We had to do a double take at first cause we didn't actually believe that she'd let herself go again, but hey pigs can fly right? Pun intended of course. The actress who may as well live at a drive-thru was seen driving around LA over the weekend in search of her next meal, but not only did it look like whale, it looked fucking scary to say the least. The good news is that she's not yet bed bound by her weight issues, but we hope Kirstie can get her shit together and be the hottie we know she is underneath all that fat.

[Image via BROAD]

LILO WAS LOOKING SO GOOD TOO...

It looks like Lindsay Lohan is back to her old ways of looking like a big old mess, as the actress (pushing it) was snapped having a sneaky fag whilst chilling with friends in LA recently. What we can commend here is the hair cause it looks a hell of a lot better than that blonde mess it was sporting for way too long, but how can we excuse the double chin and droopy tits? Oh and is that a classy back tattoo we can see? The poor thing's just a state and for 25 years old she looks fucking horrendous. We want Cady Heron back!

[Image via SPLASH]

MISS PIGGY'S GOT COMPETITION

What the fuuuck is going on with Lindsay Lohan people? The actress (smack addict) was snapped walking around NYC the other evening and it looked a right state. We don't get why LiLo is still getting those RANK lip injections cause they're making the bitch look ridiculous. The white hair is also nasty and what's with the double chin and bloated facial features in every pic of her? Maybe it's a bit soon to make a Whitney reference, but surely by now we all know that a bloated face means they've got a spoon and a lighter hidden in their handbag. Wouldn't you all agree?

[Image via X17]