PICKING UP THE PIECES...OF BROKEN MIRROR

Holy shit balls peeps! Paloma Faith was looking fucking dog rough the other day whilst out on a run in Hyde Park and according to sources passers by were gagging cause bitch looked so fugly. Overall it's a bit annoying and he tunes are mediocre at best, but boy does the poor woman look like the back end of a bus without slap. The singer is known for her glam retro appearance and now we get why she cakes on so much shit.

[Image via GETTY]

CADY HERON ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE?

We genuinely miss the days when Lindsay Lohan didn't look like an alcoholic housewife from Orange County cause we just don't recognize the woman above. The actress was snapped attending some shitty fashion show in China a while back and boy did she look rough. The usual bloated face and trout pout lips made an appearance and we're not sure what's going on with the front part of her hair cause it looks like straw. Poor old LiLo needs to look in the mirror cause for 27 she looks weird and haggard.

[Image via REX]

DID YOU GO AND SHIT YOURSELF HONEY?

Okay so we're really not sure what Julianne Moore was thinking when she looked in the mirror and left her house cause bitch looked like she'd gone and doodied in her pants. The ginga actress was papped walking the streets of NYC the other day in what can only be described as hareem pants gone wrong. Do you think she tried to salvage the look by tucking her pants into those foul boots thinking it made the ensemble look better? We love her nonetheless but she looks like a lemon and lady can do way better.

[Image via SPLASH]

GET BACK ON THE ADDERALL AND QUICK!

Women these days just can't win can they? Lindsay Lohan is fresh outta rehab and while that's great news, her weight seems to have skyrocketed cause bitch was spotted rocking some fuck off chunky thighs the other day. The coke whore (allegedly) was papped filming a commercial in LA recently and it proper looked like she'd switched heroin for cherry bakewells. We're just not sure we're digging the fuller real woman look? We've always been advocates for anorexia and drugs so we do feel a little let down. Please get skinny again LiLo cause you know fatties don't get the roles.

[Image via WENN]

THE POOR KID DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE

No we don't mean that cause Cynthia Nixon likes to munch on carpet, but because of the way the bitch looks. Don't get it twisted cause we love us some Miranda but lately the actress has totally let herself go and is often seen wandering the streets of NYC looking a total dyke mess. On this occasion however she left her Home Depot overalls in the closet and threw on a dress and some wedges (the horror) and she didn't look all that bad. The poor bitch did look dog rough though as she pushed her carrot top kid around in a stroller whilst shopping for a new drill. We miss the androgynous wardrobe Miranda used to sport!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

THIS BITCH HAS DEFINITELY GOT A THIRD ARM

To be honest we don't actually hate that much on Florence Welch, but we firmly believe that it hides a fuck off sausage between her (or his) legs cause those feet do not belong to a woman. The singer was papped strolling the streets of London looking for a surgeon to chop off her man meat, but it returned home unlucky after every surgeon said they don't touch ginga cock. Ouch that's gotta hurt Flo...or should we say Fred? Anyhow it made plenty of dough from those shit records so hopefully someone will agree to the op soon. On a side note those fucking cheekbones could cut glass and look VERY feminine. Best of luck honey...or should we say dude.

[Image via FLYNET]

GERI SO HIRED THIS TO WALK PAST HER

You know you're a desperate nobody when you hire regular fatties to walk past you in the street thus making you look hotter, but we're onto you Geri Halliwell and those kinda cheap tricks just won't fly with us. The former Spice Girl was papped on the school run with her many sprogs and we gotta say it did look good seeing as it's like 50, but it reminds us that every woman could look this good if she chucked up after every meal so it's kind of a downer too. Did y'all notice that the pissed looking stranger in the great outfit is like 3 times the size of Geri?

[Image via GOFF]

PICKING UP THE PIECES...OF BROKEN MIRROR

Now for some reason ginga singer (she does try) Paloma Faith just fucks us off cause the bitch has got the kinda face that just puts us in a bad mood. We're guessing she already got the Google alert on herself and is reading this and if so please just stop trying to sing and go work with animals honey. Those fucking evil teeth and birds nest hair are making us gag and we're not sure if it's got a third tit or something, but that dress is either fifty sizes too small or bitch needs to be in the Guinness Book Of Records. Just sayin'.

[Image via XPOSURE]

BREE WOULDN'T WANT THIS AS A NEIGHBOR

It's damn right shocking when you actually realize the true POWER of make-up and Marcia Cross must be thanking her lucky fucking stars that it was invented. The former Desperate Housewives star was papped whilst running errands around LA over the weekend and it looked dog rough to say the least. All we know is that Bree wouldn't even go to the bathroom without having her hair and make-up done, so this haggard old thing wouldn't stand a chance of living on Wisteria Lane.

[Image via X17]

BUFFY WOULDN'T HANG OUT WITH THIS NOW

Alyson Hannigan as we're sure you all know has recently had a baby, but the main issue here is that she still hasn't lost any of the baby weight since shitting it out. It's such an atrocious level of effort for a celebrity right? Okay we're clearly being a tad sarcastic here, but c'mon you could basically fuck Willow Summers in the chin now and it ain't hot. The actress was papped pushing her stroller round the streets of LA whilst in search for work, as according to industry sources she's become too disgusting and obese to get roles. Again this is sarcasm for all you dry fuckers who take us too seriously. Basically the point we're trying to get across here is that she's a ginga mess who needs to sort herself out.

[Image via SPLASH]

YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR MUSIC IS KINDA OKAY

Oh honey, are you trying to look fugly or something? Florence Welch is of course talented (ish) but the bitch just ain't easy on the fucking eyes. The singer was seen arriving at some shitty fashion event in LA recently and looked like an ugly sister who had been beaten up and gobbed on. At this point we're wondering if Flo's make-up team are trying to show her up on purpose cause she often looks like a fog (fucking dog) on the red carpet. We still firmly believe that she hides a fuck off massive sausage between her legs. Thoughts?

[Image via FLYNET]

SERENA WOULD NEVER BEEN SEEN WITH THIS

The above snap of stunner Blake Lively and singer (sausage hider) Florence Welch is what we'd like to call a classic. The unlikely duo recently met at an awards bash in LA and let's just say that we bet Blake was thinking I'm gonna look fucking amazing next to this dog. Poor old Flo didn't even pose well and looked like a right munter in the headlights, but maybe Disney producers will see this and make a lesbo version of Beauty & The Beast?

[Image via GETTY]

WE NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS SHIT

Fuck us hard and tell us this ain't the hilarious Kathy Griffin. Unfortunately for this poor bitch, she looks even worse minus the war paint and although we love her we just can't let this pic slide. Now this gal can just sit back and take it cause she's a cunt to everyone else, but not only is she fugly as hell but she looks dang scary in the above snap. The comedienne (insecure fag hag) was papped on a run around West Hollywood with her boyfriend (he's partially sighted) and it looked possessed to say the least. We swear to God we could actually eat our lunch off her forehead too.

[Image via FLYNET]

LILO WAS LOOKING SO GOOD TOO...

It looks like Lindsay Lohan is back to her old ways of looking like a big old mess, as the actress (pushing it) was snapped having a sneaky fag whilst chilling with friends in LA recently. What we can commend here is the hair cause it looks a hell of a lot better than that blonde mess it was sporting for way too long, but how can we excuse the double chin and droopy tits? Oh and is that a classy back tattoo we can see? The poor thing's just a state and for 25 years old she looks fucking horrendous. We want Cady Heron back!

[Image via SPLASH]

NOT SO ENCHANTED NOW HUH?

Amy Adams will be forgiven on this occasion as the above pic of the actress is thankfully just from her new Broadway play. It's amazing how she can go from looking like a million bucks (well kinda) to an inbred looking dog with birds nest hair. We're not sure what the play is about but it's evident that her character is supposed to be a munter. Wonder if all the animals in the world would listen to her singing now?

[Image via WENN]

MEET GERI'S 50 YEAR OLD TWIN

Bad times for Geri Halliwell. You know your career's sunk to an all time low when you put your best clobber on and head out to the Marie Curie cancer care charity event. We mean no disrespect to the charity here, we're merely highlighting that z-listers such as Geri resort to anything to stay relevant. Anyway, the former Spice Girl looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and gobbed on when she showed up the other night. What's with the birds nest hair by the way love? Nothing says class like a tie necklace made of (fake) diamonds though.

[Image via GETTY]

LILO IS LOOKING SHIT HOT

Ooo fuck us hard. Lindsay Lohan showed up at the Washington Correspondents' Association Dinner recently and looked fucking amaze balls! We're so happy this bitch has ditched the trashy blonde locks and traded them in for her natural ginga roots. Whoever is telling her that she needs to actually take a shower before events needs a raise too. Keep it up LiLo!

[Image via GETTY]

EVEN HANNIBAL WOULDN'T EAT IT

Seeing this shit made us fuckin' choke we ain't gonna lie! Ginga actress Juliane Moore who is usually snapped looking a bit more red-carpet ready looked DOG rough as she walked her sprog around NYC over the weekend. It looked more like a fugly elf than a Hollywood actress and her facial expression makes us think she did a nasty fart and then sniffed it the dirty bitch. It never ceases to amaze us what a bit of warpaint can do ennit.

[Image via VANITY FAIR/SPLASH]

WE'RE PISSED BUT SECRETLY HAPPY

Yes! Lindsay Lohan FINALLY decided to dye her hair back to it's natural ginga roots and she looks SOOO much better for it! Just compare this to our below post...it looks like a different person already. We secretly root for a lot of these celebs and The Sizzling Mess could be a lot more positive if they'd ALL get their shit together. The bitch is looking good for once (minus the fucked right leg), cause we're not even seeing any facial puffiness here. Now who the fuck do we write about?

[Image via SPLASH]

WILL & THE TAROT CARD READER

Wow, it really amazes us what a cancelled TV show can do to one's image. This lovely specimen of a being is Debra Messing although we like to refer to her as Debs. The now struggling actress was seen walking the streets of LA looking for scraps to eat, as according to industry sources Debs has blown most of her Will & Grace money on witchcraft training. Anyhoo the poor thing looked more like an astrologist than a Hollywood star. Maybe her next role could be as an extra in the new Witches Of Eastwick remake?

[Image via BIG PICTURE]