CORPSE SPOTTED WALKING STREETS OF MILAN

It seems that every time we do a post on poor Donatella Versace she actually manages to get uglier. The designer was spotted walking the streets of Milan the other day and apparently onlookers panicked as they believed they were walking amongst the dead. Seriously though everything is wrong with this woman and it's super bad considering she heads the house of Versace looking like a liver sausage in a wig. Her body is too skinny and rank for her age and we don't need to say much about that face do we? Man whoever sleeps with this must scream when they see it first thing in the morning cause we think we'd have a mini coronary if we'd penetrated something so unworthy of love.

[Image via SPLASH]

VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

POSH WILL ALWAYS BE A DIRTY WAG AT HEART

People seem to think that Victoria Beckham has always been chic, but if you literally go back about 5 years you can see that she was cheap as fuck. The WAG turned fashion designer can be seen at The Prince's Trust event back in 2005 and boy did it look cheap. The birds nest extensions, orange tan, tacky accessories, slutty gown and French manicure (quiver) is a world away from her current look. It just goes to show how much styles can change! Wonder what happened to natural DD tits too?

[Image via WENN]

NEXT TIME KEEP YOUR GLASSES ON KARL

What we find so hilarious about "designer" Karl Largerfeld is that he slammed Adele for her weight when not so long ago he was morbidly obese himself. For our tens of readers, do not fear as this will be making a hilarious future blog post. Anyhow the douche bag was papped at lunch with his fashion click like every other "straight" pensioner and was a sight for sore eyes when he took his sunglasses off. Not to mention he also thought it was appropriate lunch etiquette to whip out his phone and show the girls his latest Grindr hook up. We just don't get the big deal with this thing and on a side note Chanel is looking tired these days, so just get someone who wasn't born in the 1800's to replace him.

[Image via COCO PEREZ]

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS DEAD ALREADY...

Oh dear. What the fuck does Donatella Versace think she looks like? The fashion designer bowed graciously after her latest show in Milan and looked more like a liver sausage in a wig than a woman. We get that she's got a good body for like 105 years old, but still that face would make any man cry upon climax. Maybe she's been dead for years and they just embalmed her to cover it all up?

[Image via STYLE.COM]

SHE HASN'T CHANGED A BIT HAS SHE?

Wow. Victoria Beckham really is insulting the world's intelligence when she continually insists that her rack is natural. You only have to look at the above to see that both her figure and tits are practically identical. Let's be real though cause this is another case of what we like to call ACS (Alexa Chung syndrome) aka a fucked up level of denial. Now don't get it twisted, Posh wasn't a fat cunt when she was younger, but she sure as hell weren't no size zero. Oh and if you think you can have tits like that after 4 kids and still be able to fit into kids clothes, you're a really bad liar and a fucking idiot.

[Image via GETTY/REX FEATURES]

TOO MUCH OF NOTHING = SIZE ZERO

Poor old Vicky B aka Victoria Beckham is looking proper tired these days ennit. The mum of (we think it's around 5 sprogs now) was snapped looking VERY chubby at a recent event in NYC wearing a STUNNING dress. Now we gotta say that Mrs Beckham looks great most of the time, but this outfit was just a total mess. The "natural" tan, protruding collar bone (fucking rank) and oily skin looked a right state. On a more positive note, we hear that Posh is apparently dressing lots of stars for the Oscars. We can just picture it...baby Harper sucking silicone from one of her tits, while she sits at her sewing machine banging out couture till the wee hours of morning. Ah she's such an inspiration!

[Image via WIRE]

GET THIS BITCH A BURGER

Where the fuck do we start? Vera Wang who arrived in the US almost 100 years ago, now has a huge multi-million dollar wedding dress empire under her belt. However, in recent years she's kept on losing more and more weight to the point where she looks like a walking corpse. We know it's not the prettiest crayon in the box, but her arms are making us fuckin' hurl and we don't get why she used her hallway chandelier as a necklace in the above pic. She should really expand her diet beyond soya sauce smoothies and pile on a few pounds ennit. We wonder if it barks first thing in the morning?

[Image via WENN]

SIMPSON IS A WHOLE LOTTA BLOATED

What exactly does Jessica Simpson do anymore besides design mediocre clothing for Middle America? The only time we loved her is when she did Newlyweds with Nick Lachey, but since then she has just BALLOONED and grown a rather unflattering "jeck" aka jaw neck. Yuh huh, that's how obese she's become. Overall her outfits pretty cute, but the chubby thighs (listen up Xtina), bloated face and blue nail polish (SO classy) make us miss the anorexic Jess even more.

[Images via WARNER BROS & SPLASH]