MOMMIE DEAREST AIN'T LOOKING SO GOOD

To open the new year we found this corker of old Hollywood legend Faye Dunaway leaving her hotel in London a few days ago. The former actress had either got gang raped on New Year's Eve and done too much coke or simply just aged terribly. Her once razor sharp features have been replaced with tight looking skin covered in liver spots and what's going on with that mammoth ear? We also didn't know that 72 year old stars are now dressing like chavs.

[Image via GREG BRENNAN]

HOLY MOLY WHAT HAPPENED TO JAKE?!

Now usually Jake Gyllenhaal looks pretty good but when he stepped out to an event the other night in LA he looked like an AIDS victim on death row. The actors plump face and looks appeared to be long gone and in their place was a gaunt and skeletal looking thing...pretty rank if you ask us people. We hear it's for a movie role so props to him for losing the weight so fast, but is it wrong that we're kinda jealous and wanna know his secret?

[Image via REX]

KEEP YA EYES WIDE SHUT FOR THIS SHIT!

Nicole Kidman was once a beauty that graced our screens, but for some reason she felt different and had a fuck load of work done cause bitch was looking plain nasty the other day at a press junket. The money hungry actress who took Tom Cruise to the fucking cleaners was seen sporting some fuck off awful trout lips and just a bizarre face in general. Why in God's name did she do this to herself?

[Image via GETTY]

EVEN DANCING DOESN'T IMPROVE THIS...

Kirstie Alley was once part of Hollywood's elite and commanded a salary that would raise eyebrows, but all she's making headlines for these days is her fat ass. The actress was seen eating alone (what she does best) in LA recently and certainly looked worse for wear as she mopped up the remainder of her food with bread. The hair, body and skin are just rank and even though bitch can look uber good when she'd scrubbed up, this appearance will be going down in her top 5 worst.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

WE BET EVEN THE DOG IS GAGGING

We knew that Sarah Jessica Parker was fugly but it's pretty embarrassing when even a dog upstages you in the looks department. The dog rough SATC actress is seen in the above pic as a child when she played the role of Annie in Annie The Musical. The poor bitch looked like a horse with a ginger wig on and we really do feel for that dog cause we're guessing it was barfing inside. If kids wouldn't play with her then what choice did she have but to turn to animals for company?

[Image via NYPL]

NOT SO ENCHANTED NOW HUH?

Amy Adams will be forgiven on this occasion as the above pic of the actress is thankfully just from her new Broadway play. It's amazing how she can go from looking like a million bucks (well kinda) to an inbred looking dog with birds nest hair. We're not sure what the play is about but it's evident that her character is supposed to be a munter. Wonder if all the animals in the world would listen to her singing now?

[Image via WENN]

PRETTY WOMEN DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE

We wonder what Vivian would think to Richard Gere if she saw him now huh? The once hot actor wasn't looking so camera ready when he was snapped leaving a grocery store in LA over the weekend, as the wind appeared to be raping his hair. While he's a far cry from ugly he's definitely aged a fuck load since his days as Edward Lewis, so once again time and aging will fuck everyone over in the end.

[Image via FLYNET]

KEEP YA EYES WIDE SHUT FOR THIS

Although we'll admit it can act, we've never really been a huge fan of Nicole Kidman cause we think she's rather overrated. The actress was papped arriving at a premiere in Australia recently and her face looked a little suspect if you ask us. The ridiculously smooth (stretched) complexion, bee stung lips and inflated cheeks say to us that lady's had a little "dental work" recently. Now it ain't ugly or anything but she's not really looking her best these days. Can you say clinging onto your youth?

[Image via GETTY]

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO CECILE?

Once again we're proved right that time and shitting out kids doesn't do wonders for ya looks. Selma Blair aka the dumb slut Cecile from Cruel Intentions was papped out to lunch in West Hollywood recently and looked a right dog. The actress has recently shat out a few kids and it certainly shows what with the dark circles, puffy face and rank hair. What the hell's going on with that barnet...it looks alive? It should really be at the gym and not stuffing her face. We hope the Coke is at least diet.

[Image via X17]

ELLE WOODS WOULDN'T TOUCH THIS

We were truly floored when we saw what Luke Wilson had become in the above snap. The actor has been out of the spotlight for sometime now and we can't say we're surprised judging by his fat ass face. He was once a silver screen hottie who out shadowed his psycho brother Owen, but now he just looks chubby, gross and erm normal. Ditch the carbs and get down the gym pronto.

[Image via WARNER BROS/GETTY]

WE BET KATE'S FUCKED OFF ABOUT THIS

Kate Beckinsale is one of England's hottest exports, however it seems that Allure magazine thought the actress needed a lot more airbrushing than usual. To say they'd gone overboard would be putting it lightly, as it appears that the retoucher either hates Kate or was drunk on the job. Gone are her beautiful features and flowing locks and in it's place are horse teeth, retarded eyes and birds nest hair. Complete and utter Photoshop fail if we're honest and the stylist needs sacking too.

[Image via ALLURE]

HAS HER FACE BECOME A SCARY MOVIE?

Anna Faris is best known for her portrayal of that dumb bitch Sydney from the Scary Movie franchise and a couple other flicks that she was shit in too. Anyway she was papped walking the red carpet at some new phone launch and her face looked a little suspect we gotta say. It looked as though Anna had visited the doctor to have some "dental work" as Kathy Griffin would say, cause she kinda looked like a puffy coke whore. Not loving the bangs either if we're honest.

[Image via GETTY]

THIS WOULD HAVE KILLED ASHTON'S BONER

Holy shit balls! Who'd have thought that Demi Moore once resembled an overweight school teacher from middle America? The actress and erm nutter is seen back in the day with her real teeth and pre-surgery looks and we gotta say she definitely needed the work. It's pretty crazy that she was 28 in the left pic and is 48 in the right huh? Let's just hope this bitch gains a little more weight cause she's starting to look like Nicole Richie when she was "overworked".

[Image via GETTY/WIRE]

WORKING GIRL TURNED FREAK SHOW

Why is it that so many women in Hollywood are insecure and worried about aging? Melanie Griffith is a prime example of why you should age gracefully, cause she looks like a fucking freak show compared to back in the day. The actress used to have a natural glow about her, but now she just looks like a stretched liver sausage in a wig. We really don't get what these women see when they look in the mirror.

[Image via GETTY/WIRE]

WIRE HANGERS AIN'T HER ONLY PROBLEM

If you don't get the title of this post, you're either not educated enough or not gay enough. The legendary actress (stretching it) Faye Dunaway hasn't really been in a decent movie since her OSCAR WORTHY performance in Mommie Dearest and after seeing the above we can see why. Her famous razor sharp cheekbones have disappeared and been replaced by a rank complexion complete with horse teeth and wrinkles so deep you could drown in them. Okay, we're being a little dramatic we get it, but come the fuck on she's become a right dog. Bad times for Faye ennit.

[Image via GETTY/WIRE]

HOLLYWOOD ICON TO CAT LADY

Oh dear. Kathleen Turner was snapped walking around Florida recently and it looks like she's literally become a human whale. The once svelte actress has clearly let herself go and it seems that her best friend these days is the buffet table. Everything has gone to shit what with her fuck off massive head, beer belly and her features are almost nowhere to be seen. It sucks but time and food really can shit on one's career.

[Image via WARNER BROS/SPLASH]

WHO KNEW WITCHES WORE ADIDAS?

Hilary Swank has never really been considered a looker, but we never realized how fucking DOG ROUGH it looked minus slap. The actress was snapped shopping in NYC for what we're guessing was a new cauldron and she looked like an ugly sister en route to the gym. We've always thought she had that "I was born with a dick" look about her, so this does nothing to squash the post-op rumors. What's with the rank skin too love? Urgh these pics brought up our lunch that's for sure.

[Image via SPLASH]

SHAKESPEARE WOULD BE LIKE FUCK ME

Who knew that Gwyneth Paltrow was such a dog underneath all the slap? The actress was snapped walking around London the other day and she looked slightly different than she usually does on magazine covers. The only give away that it's Gwynnie is her bone structure, but besides that who the fuck is this? She must look in the mirror every morning and be like fucking hell I look rough.

[Image via SPLASH]

EVEN PHOTOSHOP CAN'T SAVE THIS

Oh dear. Now we know that it's mean to hate on people purely cause they're fucking ugly, but c'mon Tori Spelling must apply her make up everyday in the mirror whilst crying. The erm heiress was doing a personal appearance at The Grove shopping mall in LA over the weekend to promote yet another shitty TV show she's starring in and she looked like a bad transvestite. We just don't understand what's wrong with her face?

[Image via SPLASH]

HEART THROB TO PEDO?

Just in case you're like what the fuck, this post is in fact focused on Chris Klein and not the SHIT HOT Mena Suvari. Now while he doesn't look fugly or anything he sure has got OLD since American Pie first hit our screens back in the late 90s. In fact he looks more like an overworked stock broker who likes kiddy porn than a Hollywood heart throb. Such a shame cause he was pretty fine back in the day. Mena on the other hand can sit on our face whenever she likes.

[Image via GETTY]