PRECIOUS COULD LITERALLY EAT RUSSIA

Okay so we get that Gabourey Sidibe is a really good actress and she's got the whole cuteness appeal, but fuck does the bitch have nasty figure. The star was papped filming scenes for her latest stint on American Horror Story in New Orleans recently and it looked like she'd ballooned even more...we guess pigs can fly. Seriously though it's waaay unhealthy for her to be this fat and the woman ain't even got small ankles or anything...it's fucking huge everywhere. Please stop eating Gabby cause you're gonna put yourself in an early grave!

[Image via SPLASH]

HEARING MY BONES CLICK MAKES ME HAPPY!

You know that Alexa Chung is just a fame hungry half Chinese chick who loves king prawn fried rice but won't ever eat the fucker. The former T4 presenter (she wants people to forget about that) was snapped having a crafty fag after yet another day of starvation on the streets of Brooklyn and boy did the bitch look ill. It must be so tiresome being such a trendsetting NYC hipster, so we're guessing she just doesn't have time to eat? Oh and FYI Alexa, you're from Hampshire or somewhere in China so it doesn't really work love. Either cover up those rank legs or just admit you know how many calories are in toothpaste cause everyone knows you're fat inside. Oh and if there's an annoying PC person reading this, we ain't racist cause we had a Chinese last night.

[Image via X17]

OH HELL NO, BITCH DIDN'T WEAR THIS OUT!

Natalie Cassidy clearly can't afford a laptop or phone with internet capability, cause if she'd done the sensible thing by reading The Sizzling Mess on a daily basis, she'd know it'd be best if she didn't step outside in anything besides a tent with 2 holes...maybe 3 if she felt lucky. Anyway the former Eastenders actress was papped living it up in Magaluf recently (classy bird) and she kindly revealed her saggy ass titties to the world. Does anyone else see that bruise on her thigh too? Looks like even bathing suits get offended by being put on this mess of a body. Ouch for Natalie ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY SHIT OUT A KID?

We don't usually hate on people that ain't relevant but even Peaches Geldof deserves some blog inches every now and then. The "we don't know what it does D-lister" was seen attending some shitty fashion show during London fashion week and it looked full on REXIC and not in the good Nicole Richie way either. On top of looking like she's about to eat her own head, one of the bitch's tits is bigger than the other and those shoulders are sharper than a Leona Lewis note. Get a cheeseburger down ya neck love.

[Image via WENN]

DOES THIS BITCH LIVE ON A FUCKING DRIP?

Doesn't the lovely Alexa Chung just look like the picture of health? The overrated waste of space and "fashion icon" was seen at the launch of some shitty product in NYC recently and we're pretty sure we've seen 3 year old kids with larger legs. We'd love to know when she last ate a proper meal, cause according to sources she apparently avoids brushing her teeth as toothpaste contains too many calories. This all leads us to believe that maybe she was abused as a child or some bullshit like that? We bet she was DYING to turn around and start munching on the greenery behind her.

[Image via REX FEATURES]