WE WOULDN'T WANNA PISS PAMMY OFF TBH

We're not entirely sure if we've ever done a post on classic beauty (who are we kidding) Pamela Anderson, but when we spotted this corker we couldn't not share it with y'all! The former Baywatch star was papped walking around LA the other day and let's just say we wouldn't wanna get on the wrong side of it cause she looked like a right rough bitch. Gone are the youthful looks that once made her a household name and instead we're subjected to hooker eyebrows, badly dyed hair and a hard ass face. Aging is such a shame ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

NO FOLKS THIS AIN'T KATIE PRICE'S DAUGHTER

Okay so what the FUCK was Courtney Stodden thinking when she got these implants and more importantly what kind of surgeon actually agrees to put em in? The plastic fantastic bimbo was seen sunbathing in the Big Brother garden as she's currently appearing in the British reality show and boy are those melons big. We're guessing she was going for a really natural look and what's up with the pussy brushing?

[Image via CHANNEL 5]

EXERCISE WON'T FIX THIS SHIT HONEY

Alicia Douvall is one of those gals who's famous for doing fuck all besides being a slut. The former models (yeah right) was papped running around her local park in London and it certainly doesn't photograph well these days that's for sure. The trout pout, bloated face and balloon tits just don't work when you're like 60 years old. It's kinda embarrassing to look this bad and be totally irrelevant.

[Image via ISO]

WE NEVER GOT THE RACE CHANGE MEMO

La Toya Jackson may as well just join the Ku Klux Klan cause at this point it's evidently clear that she's embarrassed to be black. The former singer (porn star) was seen walking the red carpet at some shitty charity event in LA and she literally looked like an embalmed hooker. The dire highlights and Michael nose are obvious features here, but nothing looked good or natural. We can however commend the cock hungry whore on the fact that she's been a size zero for almost 50 years, as that in itself is hugely impressive in our opinion. Take note of the latter Xtina.

[Image via SPLASH]

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE MAKE-UP LADIES

All you girls (and trannies) know that make-up is probably the most powerful tool when it comes to making yourself look shit hot and this has been PERFECTLY proved by reality TV star (slut with a pushy mom) Kim Kardashian. The overexposed tramp was snapped arriving at the airport in London looking worse for wear in comparison to her usual preened to fuck red carpet appearances. Now it ain't ugly by a long shot but the panda eyes, spotty skin and cross-eyed look just ain't working for us, thus proving that Kim is normal after all. We'd like to highlight the fact that "thus" is the smartest word we've ever used on The Sizzling Mess, so we've moved up a notch on the class scale.

[Image via INF]

FUCK OFF IS THIS THE SAME PERSON!

Sofia Vergara is well known for her luscious looks and "give you a woody in 3 seconds" effect, but it seems just like every poor bitch in the world she too looks dog rough minus the warpaint. The sexy Modern Family actress was papped out to lunch in LA this week and she looked a world away from her usually groomed to fuck red carpet appearances. In place of the usual sizzling Latina was a plain and foreign looking thing who could easily be mistaken for someone's maid if we're totally honest. This just proves that with money and the right resources anything is possible.

[Image via PACIFIC/X17]

THIS MUST BE THE WORLD'S TRASHIEST MOM

It's hard to believe that such a classy bird like Katie Price could be single, but low and behold she recently split from her boyfriend of erm around three months and already it was back out trying to score more cock. The glamor model who proudly takes it up the ass was papped leaving several clubs around London in the wee hours and it looked a right state to say the least. Her tits are practically being used as a chin rest at this point and even drag queens apply their slap better, however the one nice thing we can say is that she's got a bangin' tum for shitting out four kids. All the obese bitches who had one kid 8 years ago should take note and stop fucking eating. Put your tits away though honey cause it ain't a good look.

[Image via FLYNET]

WE'D PUT MONEY AND CUM ON THIS SHIT

The world often wonders what Kim Kardashian would stop at in order to get press, but we think that even she'd go for the above if it secured the right amount of column inches. Oh and let's not forget the right amount of dollars for that CLASSY mother Kris Jenner. To be honest, we think it shows Kimmy in a perfectly honest light cause she is a whore that gets her pussy out for fame, so why not continue cashing in on this example? We're just wondering if we should of made the cock black seeing as she's fucking Kanye now? Come to think this is her we're talking about and we wouldn't be surprised if she had a couple more guys on the go.

[Image via WIRE/THE SIZZLING MESS]

ASHAMED OF BEING BLACK ARE WE?

Even though she's got that fucked up cheap whore look about her you gotta love La Toya Jackson. The erm we're gonna say porn star/freeloader has certainly changed quite a bit since her younger years and it appears that she's a completely different race. Looks like she's racist like her late (and equally fucked up) brother Michael. Oh yes we said it. She was actually quite pretty pre-surgery, but since then she's morphed into a scary version of Barbie gone wrong. What the fuck do these Jackson's do to their noses too? We bet their mom is well offended.

[Image via GETTY/X17]

THIS WOULDN'T ACTUALLY SURPRISE US

What is it about Katie Price that always looks so cock ready? Is it cause she looks like a $2 whore in drag or does it have something to do with the fact that she (allegedly) just launched her own line of dildos? We'd be willing to put money on the fact that she was born on all fours sucking off the doctor who delivered her. At the end of the day, you gotta love the girl cause even though she's a cheap as chips slapper with syphilis, she's a smart businesswoman who laughs all the way to the bank...with a cock up her arse.

[Image via GOFF/THE SIZZLING MESS]

WE ONLY LIKE IT NECK DOWN

Is it just us or does Pamela Anderson always look like she's ready to suck cock? The former Baywatch star was papped at the grocery store in LA and minus her perky and erm "natural" baps she looked DOG rough. She looked kinda fucked off too, so we're guessing it'd been more than 30 minutes since she'd seen a dick. Good grief...the tits on it!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

MORE LIKE THE SEX FACTOR

Classy gal Tulisa Contostavlos (mouthful ennit) is not only pointless but cheap as fuckin' chips. The X Factor judge and former member of crappy band N Dubz recently leaked her own sex tape in order to help promote her shitty new single. The cheap tart can be seen on her knees doing what she does best (sucking cock) in the above pic and to be honest we're not really shocked. According to sources, there are several other unreleased sex tapes and in one Tulisa is apparently getting spit roasted and then farting out a creampie. The words lady and class spring to mind when thinking of this slapper for sure.

[Image via XNXX]

BEST MAKE UP AWARD GOES TO...

Ah the CLASSIC beauty that is Pamela Anderson! We're kinda fucked off though cause after just looking at this pic of Pam we got Hepatitis C. The former actress (slapper with aids) was attending a luncheon in Beverly Hills in honor of the porn industry (we're being serious) and it looked like a clown that'd been gang raped and spat on. We don't know who's doing her make-up, but our best guess is she's volunteered to be a walking coloring book for her kids. The eyebrows are SO Kate Middleton dontcha think?

[Image via SPLASH]

OH, HONEY PLEASE!

What the FUCK is happening to Lindsay Lohan? The bitch turned up to the AMFAR gala looking like her manager (slutty mom) Dina on smack, and it looked like it was ready for a porno cameo on That 70s Show. The bloated face, coke colored hair and whale lips are making us scream no, no, no! We literally cannot believe it's only 25 years old. Get your shit together LiLo!

[Image via WIRE]

CALL THE COASTGUARD

Yeah we're thinking the same as you...time is a right bitch. We genuinely did NOT make this photo worse than it is, so Pamela Anderson's make-up artist is either blind or hates the bitch. The former Baywatch star (slut with hepatitis) was snapped at a premiere in LA and it looked like coco the fuckin' clown. Didn't anyone tell Pam that pencil thin eyebrows were only for hookers? Oh wait, that means she's sporting the right trend though.

[Image via WIRE]

BARBIE GETS DRESSED IN THE DARK

Paris Hilton seems to have been blessed with the most horrendous taste known to the celebrity world. The reality TV star (wealthy slut) was pictured walking around Aspen with her down-syndrome sister Nicky, and she looked like winter Barbie with syphilis complete with a tranny edge. We're not quite sure what she see's when she looks in the mirror, but we're gonna take a guess and say she owns a magic one that hates her. Seriously though, why did she pair that RANK coat with special needs shoes? Oh please honey, just quit being cheap and hire a decent fucking stylist.

[Image via GSI/BARCROFT]

MUTTON DRESSED AS MUTTON

We secretly hoped that Kim Kardashian was gonna wear some mess of a wedding gown by Skechers but this shits a whole lot better! Just leave it to SHIT HOT fess (fucking mess) Lindsay Lohan to show up to your wedding a half an hour before her shift starts on Hollywood Boulevard. For those of you who aren't well-versed in the world of Lohan, that isn't her sister or colleague next to her - it's her BEYOND classy mom (manager) Dina Lohan. Doesn't saying Dina over and over just sound like pure class in itself? These two look like a pair of fuckin' has-been hookers and Lindsay what the FUCK is up with your bloated porn star pig face?

[Image via SPLASH]