LOOKS LIKE IT'S STILL EATING FOR TWO...

Seriously did Jessica Simpson go and eat her kids or something? The former singer and now food addict was snapped out to dinner in NYC recently (shocker) and boy did she look a world away from her Newlywed days. We literally don't know if she's pregnant or not cause it seemed like she was carrying a whole litter last time, but whatever she's got planned for the future we hope a diet's in the mix somewhere. Come on Jess don't you miss seeing your feet?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY SHIT OUT A KID?

We don't usually hate on people that ain't relevant but even Peaches Geldof deserves some blog inches every now and then. The "we don't know what it does D-lister" was seen attending some shitty fashion show during London fashion week and it looked full on REXIC and not in the good Nicole Richie way either. On top of looking like she's about to eat her own head, one of the bitch's tits is bigger than the other and those shoulders are sharper than a Leona Lewis note. Get a cheeseburger down ya neck love.

[Image via WENN]

THIS MOUTH WAS MADE FOR EATIN' MORE LIKE

Okay it's officially a fact that kids just ruin everything and the proof here is the mess that former hot slut Jessica Simpson has become since shitting her sprog out. The country singer (fat ass shoe designer) was seen spending time with her daughter who is responsible for the whale we now see before us and boy did it look different. The bloated face and double chin really should be enough for her to realize that eating is totally off limits after birth if you want to be socially acceptable again, and we're guessing her earrings are so large because they contain emergency treats in case Jess gets peckish whilst out. It's times like this when we think pro-anorexia truly is the way.

[Image via FLYNET]

WHO KNEW THAT PIGS WORE CONVERSE?

Now we get that Adele is talented as fuck and can hold a note, but fucking hell she is a beast to look at that's for sure. The super size Grammy winner was papped walking around Surrey and without her glam squad she looked like a normal fat girl from England. Usually black would flatter most figures, but when you're related to Free Willy even tents won't conceal the flab unfortunately. Just sayin'.

[Image via JOHN CONNOR]

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO CECILE?

Once again we're proved right that time and shitting out kids doesn't do wonders for ya looks. Selma Blair aka the dumb slut Cecile from Cruel Intentions was papped out to lunch in West Hollywood recently and looked a right dog. The actress has recently shat out a few kids and it certainly shows what with the dark circles, puffy face and rank hair. What the hell's going on with that barnet...it looks alive? It should really be at the gym and not stuffing her face. We hope the Coke is at least diet.

[Image via X17]

THIS MOUTH WAS MADE FOR EATING

Fucking hell love, you clearly embraced the term "eating for two" whilst you were preggers didn't you? Jessica Simpson FINALLY shat out her little of babies a couple months ago and was recently snapped arriving at her local gym to start shifting some of that baby weight. What's even juicier is that the walking whale is apparently being paid $4 million by Weight Watchers to lose all the weight she gained during her pregnancy. We bet motivation isn't hard to find when you're getting paid ridiculous sums of money. We can't get the image of this body wearing Daisy Duke's out of our head. Such a lovely visual right?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST/SPLASH]

HAVING KIDS RUINS EVERYTHING

Jesus, what a difference 8 years can make huh? Former pop star (even that's stretching the truth) Jessica Simspon who's 2 years pregnant was snapped walking around Miami the other day and it looked like the Incredible Hulk. The poor bitch looked like she was about ready to shit out her baby on the street and not only is her belly expanding...it looks like every fucking body part has gone up 10 sizes. Jess is clearly one of those mom's who takes advantage of the "eating for two" excuse, as it looks like no food is off limits for the funt (fat cunt). She's a right sneaky bitch too cause even though she's just holding a bottle of Perrier, we know for sure there are donuts waiting in the car.

[Image via WIRE/SPLASH]