GLAMOUR MAGAZINE SHOOTS TRANNIES NOW?

Although talented as fuck Dakota Fanning isn't really the best looking thing in the tool box, but she sure as hell didn't have the right team with her on this shoot for the latest issue of Glamour magazine. We're not sure what look they were going for here, but the poor bitch ended up looking like a downs clown aka Christina Aguilera. The gold curls, drag queen slap and cankles wouldn't make us pick up the issue, so we're guessing there are some blind gals out there that would wanna look like this thing.

[Image via GLAMOUR]

CLEARLY IT GOT DRESSED IN THE DARK AGAIN

Oh dear honey. Poor old Lindsay Lohan just cannot catch a break when it comes to looking good lately, cause the former shit hot actress was seen boarding a flight at JFK and it looked like a ginga Miss Piggy gone wrong. It also appeared that she wanted to fuck PETA off by wearing a head to toe leather ensemble topped off with real fur. The double chin and lips are what really make this photo a classic though and we just don't understand PERIOD how bitch can think she looks good. We're anxious to see if LiLo gets thrown in the slammer so watch this space.

[Image via XPOSURE]

WHERE THE FUCK IS SHARON...LITERALLY?

Yeah even we were like no fucking way is this Sharon Osbourne, but yes people the bitch has actually fucked with her face so much now that she doesn't even resemble her former self. The gobby wife of rock legend Ozzy Osbourne was seen shooting The Talk in LA over the weekend and it looked more like the bride of Frankenstein than a human being. The puffy face didn't even match up to the wrinkly neck, which is an immediate sign of hanging onto one's youth and desperation. Please honey just stop with everything and grow old gracefully!

[Image via PACIFIC]

SOMETIMES EVEN ANIMALS GET IT WRONG

We stumbled across this golden oldie of TV personality (pig) Vanessa Feltz and couldn't help but not feature it on The Sizzling Mess for your viewing pleasure. Now we're not sure what it's up to these days besides eating, but we sure as hell remember the bitch for her rank wardrobe choices. According to sources she actually employs a stylist but we don't know of any respectable stylist who would pull a dress from Frederick's of Hollywood (Ann Summers for English people) and put it on someone for a red carpet event. Well maybe not red, we are only talking about Vanessa Feltz here.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

SKINNY GIRLS DON'T ALWAYS HAVE IT ALL

Yeah we get that this is like the mother of all photos but Bethenny Frankel ain't never been a looker and y'all know it. The former star of NYC Housewives was seen walking the streets of Brooklyn the other day and we think even the wind dodged this shit. It's always looked like a tranny with a Lurch esque jawline if you ask us, and even though it's rich now this just proves that money can't make you look like a woman. Good luck with your divorce though girl!

[Image via INF]

ALL BLACK ONLY WORKS IF YOU'RE NOT OBESE

Good old Lauren Goodger is a crafty bitch cause it thinks that by wearing black the whole world (well the south of England) will think she looks smaller. Yeah well you didn't fool us Miss Piggy and we hate to play up to our bully rep but this bitch really is a mess crying for help. The former reality star was seen walking around London at night and even the pavements were crying as they tried to withstand the weight. We also don't get why this thing doesn't own a mirror cause her face is saying Stevie Wonder, but her neck is making us think of Bjork so maybe she should rethink her make-up? Oh dear honey just admit that those thighs were not made for leggings and go buy a hammock.

[Image via FLYNET]

PICKING UP THE PIECES...OF BROKEN MIRROR

Now for some reason ginga singer (she does try) Paloma Faith just fucks us off cause the bitch has got the kinda face that just puts us in a bad mood. We're guessing she already got the Google alert on herself and is reading this and if so please just stop trying to sing and go work with animals honey. Those fucking evil teeth and birds nest hair are making us gag and we're not sure if it's got a third tit or something, but that dress is either fifty sizes too small or bitch needs to be in the Guinness Book Of Records. Just sayin'.

[Image via XPOSURE]

DID SOMEONE INFLATE THIS BITCH'S HEAD?

Mila Kunis is by far one of THE most overrated actresses when it comes to looks...well we think so anyway and what we say goes. The voice of Family Guy hottie Meg Griffin was seen walking around with her stolen boyfriend once again and instead of wearing the t-shirt we sent her (it said I love adultery) she opted for a classy tracksuit yet again. The funny lady (whore) must have an army of make-up people cause when it's made up anything with a pulse would wanna fuck it, but looking at that pic above we'd rather fuck the dog.

[Image via FLYNET]

EVEN ROSEANNE HAS AGED BETTER

Surely you all remember the annoying bitch sister from Roseanne called Jackie? Well if you look at the left pic of actress Laurie Metcalf when she looked let's say manageable without vomming, you can see that the past decade and a bit haven't been kind to the poor bitch cause it's become a right dog. The rank hair, clown face and teeth ain't gonna help this lady get any action anytime soon. Give yourself a makeover honey cause you need one.

[Image via ABC/WIRE]

THIS MOUTH WAS MADE FOR EATIN' MORE LIKE

Okay it's officially a fact that kids just ruin everything and the proof here is the mess that former hot slut Jessica Simpson has become since shitting her sprog out. The country singer (fat ass shoe designer) was seen spending time with her daughter who is responsible for the whale we now see before us and boy did it look different. The bloated face and double chin really should be enough for her to realize that eating is totally off limits after birth if you want to be socially acceptable again, and we're guessing her earrings are so large because they contain emergency treats in case Jess gets peckish whilst out. It's times like this when we think pro-anorexia truly is the way.

[Image via FLYNET]

HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT MARRIED MEN?

Another day another husband to steal is a good motto to live by according to singer Leanne Rimes, but the other day she took a break from riding cock and decided to get a work out in after the holidays. If you ask us she really needed it cause her thighs were looking a lot heftier after having a whole can of tuna for Christmas diner...greedy bitch. Anyway we just thought she looked like a baby pig straining for a shit minus the slap and as always we love to share world news like this. Enjoy!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

THE ONLY GAY WHO ISN'T BOTOXED TO DEATH

Seeing as Graham Norton likes to dip his pen in the homosexual ink pot, we just assumed it was standard that he'd have a totally unexpressive face filled with botox, but apparently this isn't the case as it was seen wandering around London recently looking bloated as fuck. The TV host was seen leaving his gaff and it looked as though the poor bastard had lost 50 stone around his eyes what with the saggy shopping bags underneath them. The depth of those forehead wrinkles are almost deep enough for us to move into as well. All that money and this face...what's wrong with this picture?

[Image via MEL]

CALIFORNIA GURLS SHOULD BE OFFENDED

What makes us laugh about Katy Perry is that her image is all about fun and being glamorous, but in reality she's a plain dog with thunder thighs and rank skin. The tone deaf "singer" was snapped on vacay in Hawaii with her latest and 6th boyfriend John Mayer since her infamous divorce from twat Russell Brand. Anyway we just wanted y'all to see what a fucking mess it is minus the old warpaint.

[Image via SPLASH]

PLAYING A WITCH MUST'VE COME NATURAL

Holy shit balls was pretty much our reaction when we saw the latest pic of actress Anjelica Huston taken just days ago. The has been stunner was papped in LA and looked like a fucking clown full of air and we literally had to count her chins. We know she was never really a natural beauty but what the fuck has she done to her face? All these actresses should take note and realize that if you use fillers and botox you will end up looking a mess.

[Image via GETTY/WENN]

THERE'S NO REVERSAL SPELL FOR THIS

What the fuck is Rose McGowan playing at cause bitch must be blind if she thinks she looks better than she did in her Charmed days? The former actress and now plastic surgery addict was papped arriving at some lame charity event in LA recently and it looked even more mummified than earlier this year. The nasty shade of blonde, puffy face and trout pout make her unrecognizable to most and we can't believe a surgeon even touched her in the first place. Grade A fucking tranny mess from Norway if you ask us.

[Image via AKM]

WILL IT GO MORE NATURAL IN 2013?

Why oh why does Katie Price think she looks good? It truly baffles us over at The Sizzling Mess and we'd be willing to bet that the bitch uses a magic mirror or something cause surely she can't think she looks hot. The former glamor model aka cheap tart who shags lads for a tenna was papped leaving her local offy after getting her ciggies and it looked like the fucking bride of Frankenstein...and that's being polite. The shaped eyebrows and false eyelashes remind us of slappers from the North and the lips are verging on animal territory. You just look like a big ole tranny mess love so sort ya life out.

[Image via ISO]

RINGING THE NEW YEAR WITH A CARTOON

For some reason Nicki Minaj always looks like a fucked up inflated cartoon in drag, but despite her unfortunate appearance we still love the catchy fluff she shits out that's called music. The fierce ghetto bitch was snapped walking the red carpet at the NYE party for Pure nightclub in Las Vegas the other night and we're pretty sure it's ass could second as a life raft. We wonder if she's used some of her hard earned $$$ and had a tit job too?

[Image via WENN]

IT'S NOT 1994 ANYMORE HONEY...

Mariah Carey always seems to look like she's stepped out wearing her 90s wardrobe and with the new addition of that FABULOUS perm it just steps the look up to a whole new level of cheap. The singer who's famous for communicating with dolphins was papped leaving Louis Vuitton in Aspen over the holiday season and looked like a right gypsy mess in her checkered jumpsuit. It also looks like Mimi is slowly but surely returning to her flubber self as it was looking ever so slightly chubs again. Such a shame seeing as she lost a ton of weight when she shat out her kids, but even money doesn't curb junk food cravings.

[Image via AKM]

DID HE PLAN ON BECOMING THIS FUGLY?

It really is a shame when Hollywood stars and people like Mickey Rourke ruin their looks by having too much surgery and we just don't understand the drive behind making yourself look fugly. The now over the hill star was snapped arriving at LAX over the weekend and it looked like a walking mummy in a beanie if we're honest. Can you believe that the left and much better photo was just 30 years prior? Nice low cut tee too Mickey...we didn't realize you'd become gay too.

[Image via MGM/SPLASH]

WE NEVER GOT THE RACE CHANGE MEMO

La Toya Jackson may as well just join the Ku Klux Klan cause at this point it's evidently clear that she's embarrassed to be black. The former singer (porn star) was seen walking the red carpet at some shitty charity event in LA and she literally looked like an embalmed hooker. The dire highlights and Michael nose are obvious features here, but nothing looked good or natural. We can however commend the cock hungry whore on the fact that she's been a size zero for almost 50 years, as that in itself is hugely impressive in our opinion. Take note of the latter Xtina.

[Image via SPLASH]

MRS POTATO HEAD LIKES MARRIED MEN

Okay so before you all freak out and think we're crazy for featuring actress (husband stealing whore) Mila Kunis then calm down and hear us out. Now we do love us a bit of Mila but for some reason her head just looks like a fuck-off potato and even though lady ain't fat she's packing a lot more flub compared to her Black Swan days. We like skinny girls and in this case anorexia was a good option for her cause she looked better, but of course as soon as filming wrapped the fat bitch had to go and start eating again. We're guessing she's doing something right though cause Ashton would rather tap a tubby Jewish ho than a skinny over the hill hottie.

[Image via SPLASH]

EVEN DANCING DOESN'T IMPROVE THIS...

Kirstie Alley was once part of Hollywood's elite and commanded a salary that would raise eyebrows, but all she's making headlines for these days is her fat ass. The actress was seen eating alone (what she does best) in LA recently and certainly looked worse for wear as she mopped up the remainder of her food with bread. The hair, body and skin are just rank and even though bitch can look uber good when she'd scrubbed up, this appearance will be going down in her top 5 worst.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

WE LOVE A GIRL WITH A STRONG JAW...

Now we get that Solange ain't the worst looking thing in the tool box, but she ain't got shit on Beyonce when it comes to the looks department. The singer (coat tail rider) was seen arriving at a charity event in NYC over the weekend and the bitch's afro took up most of the space on the red carpet. According to insiders Solange was seen putting crackers into her hair on several occasions, which leads us to believe that she's renting out rooms in her fro for cute robin birds to nest in over the holiday season. Talk about cute! On the other hand, does anyone else think she looks like a black Lurch?

[Image via GETTY/THE SIZZLING MESS]

THIS IS MORE ANNOYING THAN RACHEL ZOE

What did Brad Goreksi think he looked like when he checked in the mirror before leaving to host the AMA's last month is what we wanna know? The celebrity "stylist" or Canadian import that attracts wealthy fag hags was seen on the red carpet with his microphone at the ready and he looked like a gay beaver who was trying too hard. The hair looked like a wall of steel and we never realized he had such huge fuck-off ears. Canadians already get a bad rep as it is, but Brad being one certainly doesn't help.

[Image via ABC]

HOW WAS THIS A FRICKIN' MODEL PEOPLE?

This actually makes us kinda sad to see Janice Dickinson looking like she's left her retirement home for the afternoon to go play bridge with the girls, but no you're eyes ain't fooling you she really does look that fucking awful and may we stress old. The former model (shocker) was seen leaving her local market in Malibu and the bitch had either smuggled kids into the country or she'd had a fuck off nasty perm. To top it all off, the stretched skin and puffy lips just make her look even more desperate to stay young and it's really not hot. When will these LA dummies learn that less is more?

[Image via FLYNET]

BREE WOULDN'T WANT THIS AS A NEIGHBOR

It's damn right shocking when you actually realize the true POWER of make-up and Marcia Cross must be thanking her lucky fucking stars that it was invented. The former Desperate Housewives star was papped whilst running errands around LA over the weekend and it looked dog rough to say the least. All we know is that Bree wouldn't even go to the bathroom without having her hair and make-up done, so this haggard old thing wouldn't stand a chance of living on Wisteria Lane.

[Image via X17]

GET THIS BITCH A RABBIT CAGE QUICKLY!

Fucking hell that Stacey Solomon is one EVIL looking bitch and we bet onlookers were offering it carrots when she was snapped shopping recently. The former X Factor contestent (downs bimbo) ain't really done much since leaving the show and with those teeth we're hardly surprised cause we bet every record label have ran off for fear of being eaten alive. You just can't save this look with any nice words cause she looks like a fucking munter.

[Image via MAGIC MOMENTS]

XTINA HAS DEFINITELY EATEN HER KID

Christina Aguilera seems to battle with her food demons cause one minute she can be stick thin and the next there's a national food shortage. Now we ain't denying that the bitch can't blow (ghetto for sing you perverts), but she sure as hell has gotten fucking fat lately. Just comparing the photos above that are only 2 years apart is pretty shocking, but at least it proves that Chrissy can do classy if she wants to. All we know is that the latest look just ain't doing girl any favors and that fake tan NEEDS to be toned down cause her legs look like burnt chipolatas.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST/GETTY]

THE AIRBRUSH IS HAVING A DAY OFF

Well this sure don't look like a Vogue cover does it Anne Hathaway? The usually preened to perfection Jewish actress was snapped walking around NYC recently and she looked like a rat on the hunt for a cube of cheese. The flyaway birds nest hair, Dumbo ears and fuck off massive conk certainly wouldn't go down well with Miranda Priestly that's for sure. Just sayin'.

[Image via SPLASH]

MAYBE IT IS BETTER SKINNY?

When we stumbled upon this LOVELY vintage pic of Jennifer Hudson we almost vommed up our lunch cause those arms look like a nasty pair of whale thighs. Anyway our point is that maybe the singer does look better when she's anorexic but we're still kinda undecided. When it's thin she looks like a fugly horse and when it was like this (we'll call it Motown Flubber) she looks a right fucking beast that would eat you if you got in her way. What do y'all think?

[Image via WIRE]

NO DOUBT YOU'VE GOT ROUGH WITH AGE

Even though we think Gwen Stefani is eternally cool she certainly looked like she'd be dragged in by the dog the other day whilst running errands in LA. The retired pop star was seen doing the school run and even a full face of slap didn't save the poor bitch cause it looked dog rough and haggard. We ain't missing that fuck off huge "hormonal acne" zit on ya chin either honey.

[Image via X17]

EVEN MAKE-UP DOESN'T SAVE THE BITCH

Just when you think Lindsay Lohan can maybe pull it together and look good for the premiere of her new TV movie (embarrassing) Liz & Dick she turns up looking like a big ass hot mess. The actress (debatable) was snapped arriving at the airport in LA looking like a bloated alcoholic and didn't look much better a few hours later when walking the red carpet. The bloated face, fish lips and hooker dress just did nothing for her and once again we'd love to know what the fuck the stylist was thinking? Well if she can even afford one.

[Image via SPLASH/GETTY]

SO THIS IS HOW IT BROKE INTO ACTING

Why are we not surprised that the younger Judi Dench (containing laughter) Emma Watson kickstarted her acting career by getting on her knees and sucking cock? Okay so we're obviously dreaming, but is it wrong that we kinda wish this was true so people would get how much of a joke this girl is for once? On top of retaining many ape-like features, having zero acting chops and being as stiff as the dick she's holding whilst on the screen, it baffles us as to why she keeps getting offered roles. If her fans don't agree that her work ain't ever gonna cure cancer, then they're just as deluded as Emma is about her abilities.

[Image via EMMA WATSON PORN]

XTINA FINALLY BOUGHT A NEW MIRROR!

What a difference a day and hairstyle can make to one's appearance huh? Christina Aguilera was seen arriving at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles this evening and lady looked SHIT hot for once whilst walking the red carpet. It looks like Xtina finally realized that less is more (especially in her case) and we're so thankful she ditched those period colored extensions in favor of something more simple and classic. Yeah, we never thought we'd use those two words in the same sentence as her name either. Keep it up bitch!

[Image via JUST JARED]

THIS BREED OF DOG IS STILL UNKNOWN

Oh honey, this ain't a good one is it? Oscar winning actress Jennifer Hudson was snapped around LA filming a new Weight Watchers commercial and it looked positively evil if we're honest. For some reason she's tragically attached to her $5 hooker weave and that weight loss just ain't working for her bone structure cause it makes the poor bitch look fugly as hell. Please just pile it back on love cause we think you look a lot better when you're morbidly obese.

[Image via SPLASH]

GRACE KELLY WOULD BE FUCKED OFF

Aussie actress Nicole Kidman has always struck us as the kinda gal who'd do anything to hold onto her youth and it would appear that fucking up her face is included in that plan. The walking science project was papped whilst filming a new Grace Kelly biopic in her native Australia and she looked like a stretched mess to say the least. We're not sure if she's smiling, high as kite or pissed as arse holes, but at least we know her new movie will give us a good laugh.

[Image via EAGLE PRESS]

WE HOLD THE HAIR AGAINST YOU HONEY

We're not too sure what happened in the hair and make-up room, but Britney Spears looked like she was hiding an entire family in her hair on The X Factor the other night. The now not so relevant pop star wore a clingy black number that didn't really do frame any favors (not that she's obese) and those t-bar shoes just cut her legs right off and made her look like a dwarf from Louisiana. Did anyone notice how fucking low her top was cut too? We know her stylist was going for glam, but we're getting more over the hill slut from this look. Just sayin'.

[Image via BRIDOW/COCO PEREZ]

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE MAKE-UP LADIES

All you girls (and trannies) know that make-up is probably the most powerful tool when it comes to making yourself look shit hot and this has been PERFECTLY proved by reality TV star (slut with a pushy mom) Kim Kardashian. The overexposed tramp was snapped arriving at the airport in London looking worse for wear in comparison to her usual preened to fuck red carpet appearances. Now it ain't ugly by a long shot but the panda eyes, spotty skin and cross-eyed look just ain't working for us, thus proving that Kim is normal after all. We'd like to highlight the fact that "thus" is the smartest word we've ever used on The Sizzling Mess, so we've moved up a notch on the class scale.

[Image via INF]

DOES THIS HAIL FROM KENYA PERHAPS?

Oh honey, just looking at this shit makes us wanna FedEx you a fuck off burger and fries to get down your gullet. Kate Bosworth aka one of the world's shittest actresses behind Keira Knightley, was seen lingering outside her trailer in LA the other day holding what appeared to be an orange and although we're happy that she's eating something, it looked as though she should've had a drip machine on wheels beside her at all times. Her head literally looked like it would fall off if she turned too suddenly and when your Ugg boots match the width of your upper thighs, you know you've got something in common with Karen Carpenter. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]

BUFFY WOULDN'T HANG OUT WITH THIS NOW

Alyson Hannigan as we're sure you all know has recently had a baby, but the main issue here is that she still hasn't lost any of the baby weight since shitting it out. It's such an atrocious level of effort for a celebrity right? Okay we're clearly being a tad sarcastic here, but c'mon you could basically fuck Willow Summers in the chin now and it ain't hot. The actress was papped pushing her stroller round the streets of LA whilst in search for work, as according to industry sources she's become too disgusting and obese to get roles. Again this is sarcasm for all you dry fuckers who take us too seriously. Basically the point we're trying to get across here is that she's a ginga mess who needs to sort herself out.

[Image via SPLASH]

LOOKS LIKE PHOEBE NEEDS A WALKER

We know what you're thinking...when bad things happen to good people and in this case the culprit is that little fucker called time. Lisa Kudrow aka hippy slut Phoebe Buffay from iconic TV show Friends was snapped arriving at a charity event in LA recently and she looked like she'd definitely started living off her retirement account. To be honest, we can't fucking believe this and Jennifer Aniston are pretty much the same age. The greying hair, wrinkled complexion and turkey neck are making us think that the poor bitch needs some TLC and quick.

[Image via SPLASH]

OOMPA LOOMPA'S ARE AFRICAN AMERICAN

For some reason Jennifer Hudson does NOT look right when she's not obese, and if we're honest (like we wouldn't be) being thinner makes her look fucking ugly. The former Idol and Oscar winner (get it bitch) was seen attending some crappy event in LA over the weekend and looked like an orange drag queen in a hooker weave. Out of everything, and there's a lot wrong here, we find the pronounced jawline and man hands quite creepy, but let's face it this girl ain't no looker and weight actually makes it look better. We bet Kirstie Alley is jealous about that.

[Image via SPLASH]

EVEN CASPER WOULD JUMP AT THIS SHIT

We do love our child stars but Christina Ricci holds a special place in our heart, if we have one, cause she's not only talented, but she's managed not to do a LiLo her whole life which takes will power. Anyway in terms of it's appearance she's looked a lot better in the past and we always knew she had a fuck off massive forehead, but we never realized we could have a sleepover on it that's for sure. The blotchy complexion is telling us that she's either been scoffing on too many Twinkies or she's on the rags aka rank hormonal acne. Now we don't need to be told that we're cunts cause we already know that, but we like to keep it real and show the fans how dog rough some celebs are. Enjoy!

[Image via MATRIX]

USING A DYSON TO GET DRESSED ISN'T GOOD

Oh honey no! Poor old Lauren Goodger who got fired from TOWIE for being too fat was snapped out to dinner in Essex recently and her dress was crying at the seams. The human walrus appears to have an issue with buying clothing that actually fits her lard filled frame and this shit is making us shake our heads. The hair, make-up and excess flub just make her look like a total car crash of events and we'd be embarrassed to call this out girlfriend. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]

BETCHA NEVER SAW THIS ONE COMING

We're guessing most of you will either be like who the fuck is this or no fucking way, but open your eyes people cause this is in fact former star of The City and style icon Olivia Palermo. The usually fierce bitch was snapped on the blower (cell for you Yanks) on her hotel balcony in Paris recently and she looked like a total mongoloid. While we can't fault her weight or skin tone she looked cross-eyed and that hair has definitely seen better days. If this bitch can look bad, then no fucker is safe.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

FUCK OFF IS THIS THE SAME PERSON!

Sofia Vergara is well known for her luscious looks and "give you a woody in 3 seconds" effect, but it seems just like every poor bitch in the world she too looks dog rough minus the warpaint. The sexy Modern Family actress was papped out to lunch in LA this week and she looked a world away from her usually groomed to fuck red carpet appearances. In place of the usual sizzling Latina was a plain and foreign looking thing who could easily be mistaken for someone's maid if we're totally honest. This just proves that with money and the right resources anything is possible.

[Image via PACIFIC/X17]

THIS WOULD MAKE ANYTHING TURN GAY

The above pic of Loose Women host Carol McGiffin has to be one of the worst pics we've posted in a while and we're pretty sure the poor bitch would agree with us. That chat show host was snapped en route to work and it looked like a fucking drowned dog. Now obviously this STUNNING photo was of course taken at THE most unflattering moment of her life, but still the camera don't lie and the lens clearly wasn't feeling this munter. Just sayin'.

[Image via ISO]

LOOKS LIKE COUSIN ITT MOVED TO ATLANTA

We guess that some people will just never learn to look in the mirror (or at least buy one) before they leave the house and this does seem to be the case for the trashy as hell Kim Zolciak from Real Housewives Of Atlanta, but secretly we hope she never learns cause we love that she's a state. The reality star can be seen in an exclusive sneak peek preview into the new season of the hit Bravo show and as always her wig and it's quality looks uber questionable. We can see that she's not ditched the tacky and so 2003 nails either.

[Image via BRAVO/MGM]

KEEP UP THE CLEVER DRESSING XTINA

It's become pretty evident that Christina Aguilera isn't quite as obese as Adele, but it is clear that dressing appropriately for her body shape (so wearing a tent) can in fact do wonders. The super talented fag hag was snapped arriving at a Samsung event in LA this week and looked pretty bangin' if we're honest. We're really loving the fun throwback look to her Stripped days with the trucker cap and colorful hair and what d'ya know her legs don't resemble tree trunks. Keep whoever's been styling you lately cause you need them honey.

[Image via WIRE]

YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR MUSIC IS KINDA OKAY

Oh honey, are you trying to look fugly or something? Florence Welch is of course talented (ish) but the bitch just ain't easy on the fucking eyes. The singer was seen arriving at some shitty fashion event in LA recently and looked like an ugly sister who had been beaten up and gobbed on. At this point we're wondering if Flo's make-up team are trying to show her up on purpose cause she often looks like a fog (fucking dog) on the red carpet. We still firmly believe that she hides a fuck off massive sausage between her legs. Thoughts?

[Image via FLYNET]