XTINA HAS DEFINITELY EATEN HER KID

Christina Aguilera seems to battle with her food demons cause one minute she can be stick thin and the next there's a national food shortage. Now we ain't denying that the bitch can't blow (ghetto for sing you perverts), but she sure as hell has gotten fucking fat lately. Just comparing the photos above that are only 2 years apart is pretty shocking, but at least it proves that Chrissy can do classy if she wants to. All we know is that the latest look just ain't doing girl any favors and that fake tan NEEDS to be toned down cause her legs look like burnt chipolatas.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST/GETTY]

EVEN NEW JERSEY ARE EMBARRASSED

We get hundreds of requests to feature Jersey Shore's infamous Snooki on The Sizzling Mess but until now we never quite found the right photo. The reality TV skank was papped at some shitty launch recently and it looked like a bottle of fake tan had raped the bitch. It's become known as New Jersey's most famous midget and she's famous for her garish make-up and crazy outfits, but we're pretty sure that even the trashiest of states (Jersey included) are embarrassed by the connection. We bet there was a lovely missing chunk of foundation when she removed her headband. Can you say classy?

[Image via WIRE]

TOP DOG FOR TOPSHOP

There's only so much money can buy and we're pretty sure that Sir Philip Green's STUNNING daughter Chloe Green has often thought this. The heiress to the Topshop fortune (fuck load of money) was papped whilst out drinking with her friends in London and sources tell us that she actually pays them to be seen in public with her. It kinda looks like a member of the royal family cause she's very toothy and clearly can't dress for shit. On top of all that the poor bitch looked like a deer in headlights and we just love that we can see her bra (fat) through her blouse.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]