DID ROSS GELLER WHITEN THIS BITCH'S TEETH?

What in the fuck does Stacey Solomon think she looks like cause it's sure as shit beyond our cultured brains? The former X Factor contestant was snapped walking the red carpet at some shitty magazine event in London and looked like an Oompa Loompa from Essex. On top of the toxic tan (notice the Xtina esque hands) and drag queen hair, she decided to top it off by whitening those already evil nashers that we've had the privilege of seeing since her debut. Just gome home honey, get under the sheets and eat ya feelings.

[Image via REX]

THAT'S NOT WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL...

Now don't get us wrong cause Harry Styles is a good looking guy with great eyes, lips and bone structure, but man does he need to revaluate his skin routine cause the boy looked like a pizza face when he stepped out recently. The lead singer of band One Direction was seen out with friends and we're not sure if we should look away or try and play Dot To Dot with his acne? Anyhow we're sure that with some Proactiv his skin would clear right up so get on it quick boy.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

HOW DOES THIS HAVE THE X FACTOR?

Oh fucking dear. We're guessing Stacey Solomon was on a quest to make herself look even uglier when she threw this horrendous ensemble together? Now we get that this is clearly some sort of rank Pantomime theme but we just ain't feeling it and the woman looks awful. The drag make-up, horse teeth and birds nest hair do her no favors and we gotta say it's embarrassing that she's supposed to be a singer yet doing this kinda shit to pay the bills.

[Image via WENN]

WE DIDN'T KNOW SHAZZA WAS A GYPSY?

What the fuck has happened to the once attractive Sharon Osbourne? These days the money grabbing Jewish music manager is looking more like the Bride of Frankenstein than an aging woman. The cheap looking red barnet and puffy frozen face ain't a good look and it seems Shazza has taken her surgeries a few steps too far. Less is more lady!

[Image via REX]

THE ADDAMS FAMILY HAVE ARRIVED PEOPLE

Back in the day Sharon Osbourne looked damn good for her age, but nowadays Shazza don't even look like herself. As for the daughter Kelly she's one big retro tranny mess who gives fashion advice...sorry we just can't even go there. What the fuck has Sharon done to her lips though cause it just looks like one massive trout pout people. There is a limit to what you should have done honey!

[Image via SPLASH]

LEAVE THIS ONE OUT THE PICK N MIX PLEASE

Jesy Nelson from that totally shit band Little Mix (twats) really ain't a looker is she? The former X Factor contestant was papped leaving her gaff in London and it looked a total lesbo mess. It seems this bitch can't do anything cause no matter what she wears it looks like she eats pussy and not in the cool Madonna way. On this occasion she left her tool belt at home and sported knee high socks (vom on these chipolata thighs), a perm even Mariah would've judged and no pants. That's right, she thinks she's hot enough to go without pants but her mirror is def talking shit behind her back.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

LITTLE MIX NEEDS TO GET RID OF THIS SHIT

Even though the shitty British pop group Little Mix are pure crap, we feel that may fair better if they trim the fat aka literally kick out that fat bitch Jesy Nelson. The overweight drag queen lookalike was seen grabbing a late night snack with her band mates and it looked like a pig who had raided a Max Factor counter. Honey please just lose some fucking weight, lay off the make-up (and food) and go get a real job for someone who looks like you.

[Image via SPLASH]

GET THIS BITCH A RABBIT CAGE QUICKLY!

Fucking hell that Stacey Solomon is one EVIL looking bitch and we bet onlookers were offering it carrots when she was snapped shopping recently. The former X Factor contestent (downs bimbo) ain't really done much since leaving the show and with those teeth we're hardly surprised cause we bet every record label have ran off for fear of being eaten alive. You just can't save this look with any nice words cause she looks like a fucking munter.

[Image via MAGIC MOMENTS]

HIS LOOKS SURE AIN'T GOT THE X FACTOR

Simon Cowell has definitely got a nasty tongue on him and we're pretty sure that if he saw this shit even he wouldn't be able to hold back the criticism cause he looked a fucking mess. The music mogul stepped out in LA recently and looked like a bloated whale covered in fake tan. Maybe he's had some help from the surgeon's table seeing as he's suffering from a little facial swelling? Whatever it is, we just think he needs to come out the closet and soon.

[Image via SPLASH]

WE DON'T WANT U BACK HONEY

Sometimes the young and fresh Cher Lloyd can look really cute, but lately she's been looking like a fucking ugly sister that thinks she's a punk. The trashy X Factor finalist who's currently working like a bitch to get her SHITE music heard was seen arriving for a morning show in NYC recently and it looked a total mess. The rank red hair matched her lips (not a good look), her complexion was riddled with pimples and for someone that's just 18 she's got a fair amount of wrinkles. Even if you're a fan (cause she pays you), you can't deny that she looks a state here.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

WHY DOESN'T THIS THING HAVE A LEASH?

For our US readers (we know there's like 3 of you) Stacey Solomon really isn't that relevant, but when we came across this vintage pic of the singer (dog) we just had to make it a post. The bimbo from Dagenham who looks as though she's always eating her own head gave a STUNNING pose when she was on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here last year. Did we mention that it was on The X Factor too? Fucking hell though...the mouth on it's scary.

[Image via ITV]

MORE LIKE SLAGGER JAGGER LOVE

Why is it that only rough as fuck people seem to win The X Factor...well most of the time? Cheap as chips Cher Lloyd was snapped popping out to her local offy to get some fags the other day and she looked dog rough to say the least. Let's not forget to mention that this bitch has only just turned 19 yet looks like a slapper in her late 20's. The lovely Scouse brows, mahoosive conk and spotty complexion looked a right state and this gal is in desperate need of a make-under. She strikes us as the type of girl who would cut you if you look at her sideways.

[Image via FLYNET]

HOW DOES THIS HAVE THE X FACTOR?

Tulisa Contostavlos has been very lucky in her career cause let's face it, she's a cheap slapper who lacks talent and sucks cock. The trashy slut was papped leaving a club in the wee hours and it looked as though her hair had been pissed on if we're honest. Not too sure if she's got the figure for high waisted denim hot pants either. Oh and those nails are making us quiver.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

MORE LIKE THE SEX FACTOR

Classy gal Tulisa Contostavlos (mouthful ennit) is not only pointless but cheap as fuckin' chips. The X Factor judge and former member of crappy band N Dubz recently leaked her own sex tape in order to help promote her shitty new single. The cheap tart can be seen on her knees doing what she does best (sucking cock) in the above pic and to be honest we're not really shocked. According to sources, there are several other unreleased sex tapes and in one Tulisa is apparently getting spit roasted and then farting out a creampie. The words lady and class spring to mind when thinking of this slapper for sure.

[Image via XNXX]

CAN'T NOBODY LOOK THIS ROUGH

Ooo we bet Kelly Rowland is PROPER fucked off that she got snapped lookin' like this the other day. The former Destiny's Child member (still clinging onto that fame) was pictured arriving at the airport in LA and let's just say the poor bitch has looked better. We're used to seeing it glammed up on The X Factor judging panel, but she looked like a cross between a monkey and a horse. We wish we'd been there cause we'd of ran up to her and yelled "Spaaaam" whilst we slapped her fuck off massive forehead. Bad times for Kel ennit!

[Image via SPLASH]

E.T. MAY HAVE HAD A SISTER

Classic beauty Jessy Nelson was brought to our attention by a reader (yeah we do have 'em thanks) and we're shocked to say that even we hadn't heard of her. We're amazed that the STUNNER never got kicked off The X Factor, cause the contracts clearly state "no dogs allowed". Anyway it was snapped leaving the ITV studios and Jessy looked like a Jersey Shore reject/Snooki's long lost lezza sister from Leeds. And that's being nice.

[Image via SPLASH]

THE BOBBLE HEAD FACTOR

We've stooped proper low this week, cause now we're so desperate for messes we're writing about nobody's from the shittier than shit TV show The X Factor. Talent show contestant (former Tesco worker) Misha B was pictured at a Talk Talk (so low) event and she looked like she'd been fucking inflated. Her tumor-sized head, beach ball hair and fuck off massive thighs looked a right state as she posed for pics. Well racist of her stylist to put chains round her waist too.

[Image via GETTY]