MILEY HONEY...YOU JUST AIN'T SEXY!

It totally escapes us as to why so many people think Miley Cyrus is hot cause all we see is a wannabe try hard with too many teeth trying to perform fellatio on a sledgehammer. The pop star can be seen in an outtake from her slutty video for Wrecking Ball and it's safe to say bitch looks like a chipmunk with an STD. We think Liam is totes better off without the skank.

[Image via RCA]

WE'D WALK STRAIGHT PAST THIS THING TOO...

We just wanna be clear that we know we're total cunts, have no morals and are deeply insecure. People this blog is driven by insecurity and we wouldn't have it any other way. Anyhow the classy Rihanna was snapped leaving her NYC hotel the other night and THE most unfortunate looking fan was papped standing behind her. Not a good comparison when your legs resemble something that would look more at home in a kebab shop. You know that the sidewalk is crying too.

[Image via SPLASH]

AIN'T THIS BITCH THE EPITOME OF CLASS?

The world knows the above woman simply as "tanning mom" aka Patricia Krentcil, however all we see is a tired old slapper who sucks cock to pay the lecky bill. We don't even get how this skank gets invited to events, but lady put on her best clobber (cheap shite) and worked the red carpet looking like the corpse version of Pam Anderson with the clap. Didn't she think to look in the mirror before she leaves her gaff too? Body-con dresses just don't work when you've got saggy tits and a muffin top and we gotta say that ankle tatt finishes off this look to perfection. Wouldn't you be proud if this was your mom?

[Image via GETTY]

WHO KNEW THIS BITCH COULD GET LOWER?

Just when ya thought that Katie Price had stooped to her lowest to shift copies of yet another shite book, the skank ho bitch put on some panto clobber with her new gold diggin' fuck buddy at her latest launch and the woman looked a fucking mess. What we'd love to know is who buys the shit she keeps putting out? Surely anyone that can actually read above 3 year old level doesn't care about this slut?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

BITCH LOOKS LIKE A SCIENCE PROJECT

What the fuck does Madonna keep doing to her ever changing face? The slutty Queen of Pop (maybe 20 years ago) was seen at the recent Chime For Change concert in London and looked like a puffy OAP whilst stood at the microphone. We know the bitch is forever on the move what with her erm career, work-outs and plucking Lourdes' fuck off eyebrows (and no doubt bush), but you think she'd of at least touched up her roots no? Oh and nice touch trying to fool yourself your young by wearing gloves, but you're a coffin dodger honey just learn to deal with it already.

[Image via GOFF]

WE'RE HOPING NOMI WOULD STILL BE HOT

Surely you all remember that fabulous Oscar worthy movie Showgirls starring sexy slut Elizabeth Berkley from Saved By The Bell? Well if you don't you're not very cultured cause it's definitely a movie that intellects rave about. Anyway in the movie Liz portrays this whore of a stripper called Nomi and as you can see she'd have given a dog a boner, but fast forward to 2013 and things ain't looking so pretty. The days the poor bird doesn't get much work, which is probably cause it's bordering on tubby to say the least and we get that she represents the "average woman of today" but we simply don't care. Now she doesn't look THAT bad, but it sadly resembles any other chubby new mom who's too lazy to shift the baby weight and we want to look at unattainable and unrealistic. We don't think this is too much to ask of celebrity mothers, but at least this proves that kids are the root of all weight gain (evil) yet again.

[Image via MGM/SPLASH]

PREGNANCY SURE AIN'T MAKING IT GLOW

If you've been keeping your fingers on the Kim Kardashian radar lately you'll notice that it ain't looking too good whilst preggers. The reality TV slapper was seen around LA eating in the streets and pulling several retarded facial expressions. We wonder if the reason behind her appearance is that she did a sick burp and some oatmeal came up, because yes even food doesn't wanna be near a Kardashian people.

[Image via X17]

WE BET HORSES ARE PISSED ABOUT THIS

Just when you think Katie Price is done making herself look like a total dick head, she stepped out to promote another cheap product of hers dressed as a slutty pantomime horse. The glamor model with herpes arrived at the photo call in this one of a kind (embarrassing as fuck) ensemble and worked the paparazzi like the whore she's always been. We seriously don't know who wilfully hands over their cash for this shite.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

THIS SHIT MAKES JUSTIN LOOKS STRAIGHT

If any of you used to watch that shit after the first season show Ugly Betty you'll remember the gay as hell character Justin Suarez who clearly took packages up the back passage all day and every day. Anyway fast forward a few years and the real life actor Mark Indelicato appears to have come out as straight if the above snap is anything to go by. We don't wanna spend long on this post as we're worried we'll catch HIV but doesn't the fag (his cigarette you homophobes) finish off this classy look?

[Image via TWITTER]

HOW DOES THIS BITCH JUDGE TALENT?

How in God's name did Amanda Holden aka the slapper with a good business brain land the gig of a judge on TV show Britain's Got Talent? The cheap whore was papped arriving at auditions recently and it looked as though the poor bitch walked out of a bad 80s time machine. The bangs and hooker outfit just solidify our theory that she's a cheap tart with zero talent herself. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]

LOOKS LIKE A FLOP ALBUM TAKE IT'S TOLL

Poor old (more like ancient) Madonna just can't catch a break these days cause on top of having a flop album and a flop movie, she was snapped recently walking around NYC and looked like a fucking freak. The religious whore decided to wear a tracksuit complete with brogues, a puffer jacket and a beanie hat resembling pig ears. Now we're not if she wanted to look like a twat, but it's safe to say that she succeeded if this was her intention. Just sayin'.

[Image via INF]

DID SOMEONE INFLATE THIS BITCH'S HEAD?

Mila Kunis is by far one of THE most overrated actresses when it comes to looks...well we think so anyway and what we say goes. The voice of Family Guy hottie Meg Griffin was seen walking around with her stolen boyfriend once again and instead of wearing the t-shirt we sent her (it said I love adultery) she opted for a classy tracksuit yet again. The funny lady (whore) must have an army of make-up people cause when it's made up anything with a pulse would wanna fuck it, but looking at that pic above we'd rather fuck the dog.

[Image via FLYNET]

HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT MARRIED MEN?

Another day another husband to steal is a good motto to live by according to singer Leanne Rimes, but the other day she took a break from riding cock and decided to get a work out in after the holidays. If you ask us she really needed it cause her thighs were looking a lot heftier after having a whole can of tuna for Christmas diner...greedy bitch. Anyway we just thought she looked like a baby pig straining for a shit minus the slap and as always we love to share world news like this. Enjoy!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WILL IT GO MORE NATURAL IN 2013?

Why oh why does Katie Price think she looks good? It truly baffles us over at The Sizzling Mess and we'd be willing to bet that the bitch uses a magic mirror or something cause surely she can't think she looks hot. The former glamor model aka cheap tart who shags lads for a tenna was papped leaving her local offy after getting her ciggies and it looked like the fucking bride of Frankenstein...and that's being polite. The shaped eyebrows and false eyelashes remind us of slappers from the North and the lips are verging on animal territory. You just look like a big ole tranny mess love so sort ya life out.

[Image via ISO]

THIS MUST BE THE WORLD'S TRASHIEST MOM

It's hard to believe that such a classy bird like Katie Price could be single, but low and behold she recently split from her boyfriend of erm around three months and already it was back out trying to score more cock. The glamor model who proudly takes it up the ass was papped leaving several clubs around London in the wee hours and it looked a right state to say the least. Her tits are practically being used as a chin rest at this point and even drag queens apply their slap better, however the one nice thing we can say is that she's got a bangin' tum for shitting out four kids. All the obese bitches who had one kid 8 years ago should take note and stop fucking eating. Put your tits away though honey cause it ain't a good look.

[Image via FLYNET]

WHAT DOES JUSTIN SEE IN YOU?

We always thought Selena Gomez was a sexy (dirty Latina) import, but after seeing this shit we've had to majorly reassess cause bitch looks nasty sans the slap. Okay we get it's young and whatever but she looked like a big ole bloated mess whilst out on a shopping trip in LA recently and frankly we think Biebs can do a lot better. The overrated walking Disney billboard is apparently hard at work in the studio recording a new album, but to be honest all we give a shit about is when the pics of Justin fucking her leak.

[Image via EROTEME]

ALL WE WANNA DO IS SEE YOU LOSE SOME!

In all honestly we feel bad for hating on Christina Aguilera (although it ain't gonna stop us) cause we like all the new music we've heard from her lately, but after seeing this shit above we couldn't resist cause we thought it was fucking genius. Xtina recently released her new album cover entitled Lotus and Da Vinci's cousin decided to make it more fun and erm honest. Let's cut the shit though cause "hips don't lie" and we all know that Chrissy loves her food a little too much, but all we think she needs is a better stylist or one that doesn't hate her. Some advice though...just lay off the donuts until after your album's been released honey.

[Image via RCA/FRISKY]

ALL WE WANNA DO IS FUCK YOUR BODY!

Talk about coming back with a bang huh? Christina Aguilera has finally ditched the donuts and was seen in LA over the weekend shooting the music video for her new single Your Body and lady looked shit hot. The singer wrapped her bootylicious bod up in a skin tight LBD with hot pink heels and appeared to be carrying a baseball bat. No word on what she'll be doing with it, but we wouldn't put it past her if she fucked herself with it in the new video. All we can say is keep doing whatever is your doing (not eating) cause you look good Xtina.

[Image via SPLASH]

CALL YA NEW PERFUME HAPPY SLAPPER?

Good old Jordan aka Katie Price (she thinks it's classier) was snapped arriving at the launch for her new butt plug line and it looked like a Fanta bottle with chlamydia. We'll be nice and say her hair actually looks okay, but the fucking scouse brows, whale lips and clown make up make her look like a cheap drag queen. We can't believe it's only 30 too...what the fuck has she done to herself?

[Image via GETTY]

WE ONLY LIKE IT NECK DOWN

Is it just us or does Pamela Anderson always look like she's ready to suck cock? The former Baywatch star was papped at the grocery store in LA and minus her perky and erm "natural" baps she looked DOG rough. She looked kinda fucked off too, so we're guessing it'd been more than 30 minutes since she'd seen a dick. Good grief...the tits on it!

[Image via REX FEATURES]