THE REAL LILY SURE AIN'T A PRETTY SIGHT

Lily Allen is apparently making a return to the spotlight cause for some reason she thinks she's relevant and interesting. The truth is obviously that her savings account is getting low and she wants more $$$ cause she's a fashion whore who lives beyond her means. Anyway the pop star (trying to not laugh) was snapped leaving a club the other night in London and the poor bird looked like a rough mom who needed some sleep. Also is anyone confused by the lyrics in her latest song Sheezus cause it would seem that she believes she's in the same league as some pretty big singers and it's just erm a little awkward cause she's Lily Allen?

[Image via XPOSURE]

WHAT'S MRS O DONE TO HER FACE Y'ALL?

It may come as a shock but we actually used to think Sharon Osbourne was one hot sexy mama for her age, but what the fuck has the bitch done to her face? The wife of The Prince Of Darkness aka rich cross dresser was seen hanging backstage with Jennifer Aniston at a recent awards show and lady looked like she'd been filled with air. Jen looked like her usual Plain Jane self but poor Shazza's face stood out like a sore bloated thumb. In fact the cutest thing in this pic is clearly the dog and for once we're actually talking about an animal.

[Image via TWITTER]

WE BET HORSES ARE PISSED ABOUT THIS

Just when you think Katie Price is done making herself look like a total dick head, she stepped out to promote another cheap product of hers dressed as a slutty pantomime horse. The glamor model with herpes arrived at the photo call in this one of a kind (embarrassing as fuck) ensemble and worked the paparazzi like the whore she's always been. We seriously don't know who wilfully hands over their cash for this shite.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

HOW DOES THIS BITCH JUDGE TALENT?

How in God's name did Amanda Holden aka the slapper with a good business brain land the gig of a judge on TV show Britain's Got Talent? The cheap whore was papped arriving at auditions recently and it looked as though the poor bitch walked out of a bad 80s time machine. The bangs and hooker outfit just solidify our theory that she's a cheap tart with zero talent herself. Just sayin'.

[Image via FLYNET]

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE MAKE-UP LADIES

All you girls (and trannies) know that make-up is probably the most powerful tool when it comes to making yourself look shit hot and this has been PERFECTLY proved by reality TV star (slut with a pushy mom) Kim Kardashian. The overexposed tramp was snapped arriving at the airport in London looking worse for wear in comparison to her usual preened to fuck red carpet appearances. Now it ain't ugly by a long shot but the panda eyes, spotty skin and cross-eyed look just ain't working for us, thus proving that Kim is normal after all. We'd like to highlight the fact that "thus" is the smartest word we've ever used on The Sizzling Mess, so we've moved up a notch on the class scale.

[Image via INF]

THERE'S NOTHING ELSE WE CAN SAY

Lady GaGa has always striked us as a try hard that clearly got bullied for being Italian in high school, so it's no surprise that as a grown ass woman she dresses like a dickhead to get attention. The weird ass singer was papped leaving her hotel in Germany recently and she looked like a fucking idiot if we're honest. Just cause she's draped in vile couture sure as hell don't make her fashionable or cool in our eyes, but her fans or "little monsters" aka fags who like beaty music seem to eat this shit up like brownies. We're just waiting for her 15 minutes of fame to run out so she can go work in a deli in the East Village and spare the world of her fakeness.

[Image via ISO]

THIS BITCH WOULD EAT MONEY IF SHE COULD

Bethenny Frankel is known for her love of money, fame and erm more money. The materialistic former star of Real Housewives was snapped walking around NYC over the weekend and we're guessing she looked so shocked because she remembered how much money she has. If anyone is motivated by the big bucks then it's Bethenny cause this bitch is always seen sporting the latest designer shit. On the other hand, she could be having a fit in the above pic cause she does look slightly retarded. She gets an A+ for her body and outfit, but her eyes are freaking us out cause they're different sizes and that thinning hairline kinda ruins the look.

[Image via RPAPG]