PLEASE THROW OUT YOUR MAGIC MIRROR!

Oh honey no what the fuck do you look like now? Natalie Cassidy braved the cruel world we live in (courtesy of us) and stepped out to get some treats from her local offy the other. We ain't gonna lie but she really ain't easy on the eyes and we don't know what she was thinking with the glasses. She's probably a really nice girl but we really haven't got a clue what is is people.

[Image via SPLASH]

OH HELL NO, BITCH DIDN'T WEAR THIS OUT!

Natalie Cassidy clearly can't afford a laptop or phone with internet capability, cause if she'd done the sensible thing by reading The Sizzling Mess on a daily basis, she'd know it'd be best if she didn't step outside in anything besides a tent with 2 holes...maybe 3 if she felt lucky. Anyway the former Eastenders actress was papped living it up in Magaluf recently (classy bird) and she kindly revealed her saggy ass titties to the world. Does anyone else see that bruise on her thigh too? Looks like even bathing suits get offended by being put on this mess of a body. Ouch for Natalie ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHEN IS THIS BITCH GONNA STAY INDOORS?

Poor old Natalie Cassidy never learns that whenever she steps out people are gonna hate on that mug. The broke actress was papped on a run (no joke) around London the other day and it looked rough as arse holes while pacing the pavement. Sporting her usual downs appearance complete with no make-up and rank Scouse brows it looked a right mess. We can't wait for the follow up fitness DVD cause it'll be a right laugh.

[Image via DRAPER]

QUEEN B WENT AND STOLE ALL DA GENES

Poor old Solange must get fucked off that her sister Bey stole all the look genes cause the bitch sure does look like the ugly duckling in comparison. The less successful singer was papped strolling around LA with Queen B and if we're honest it looked like a post-op ghetto clown with downs. Now while we love the music that both these bitches put out, there ain't no denying that Solange fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on her way down. We tried looking for the bird that lives in her fro but no luck this time, however if you spot it do let us know.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

OUR FACE IS TRULY OFFENDED BY THIS SHIT

Why is it that whenever we've eaten a full meal we have to stumble across a pic of downs dog Natalie Cassidy? The "actress" was seen getting her eyebrows tattooed on (like every classy gal does) and it looked fucking horrific whilst it was sat in the salon chatting away to most likely no one. Good old Sonja always pulls through with a car crash appearance and once again she didn't disappoint cause we're pretty sure this shit would turn our dog gay. We could literally sleep on it's forehead and don't get us started on the Lurch jaw.

[Image via DRAPER]

YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR MUSIC IS KINDA OKAY

Oh honey, are you trying to look fugly or something? Florence Welch is of course talented (ish) but the bitch just ain't easy on the fucking eyes. The singer was seen arriving at some shitty fashion event in LA recently and looked like an ugly sister who had been beaten up and gobbed on. At this point we're wondering if Flo's make-up team are trying to show her up on purpose cause she often looks like a fog (fucking dog) on the red carpet. We still firmly believe that she hides a fuck off massive sausage between her legs. Thoughts?

[Image via FLYNET]

SERENA WOULD NEVER BEEN SEEN WITH THIS

The above snap of stunner Blake Lively and singer (sausage hider) Florence Welch is what we'd like to call a classic. The unlikely duo recently met at an awards bash in LA and let's just say that we bet Blake was thinking I'm gonna look fucking amazing next to this dog. Poor old Flo didn't even pose well and looked like a right munter in the headlights, but maybe Disney producers will see this and make a lesbo version of Beauty & The Beast?

[Image via GETTY]

90210 MUST BE ASHAMED OF THIS

Poor old Tori Spelling never stood a chance in life with that face and even hailing from

Beverly Hills hasn't helped the bitch. The actress (really) was snapped driving around LA on a granny car with a bag of popcorn next to her, so we feel that this picture does all the talking for once. We didn't realize she'd become so obese as to immobilize herself, but hey if a girl likes her food then she shouldn't deny herself...anything. Not that Tori ever got us hard but she's full on let herself get even worse recently and that back fat just ain't attractive honey.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

THROW OUT THAT MAGIC MIRROR HONEY

Oh dear. Just when ya think you've seen it all from good ole Natalie Cassidy aka Sonja the down syndrome dog from Eastenders, she leaves her gaff and even makes the paps gag. The actress (pushing it) appeared to have invested in some new clown-like footwear cause they made her feet look fucking huge. It really is just a walking disaster, but we hate to be overly harsh on the poor girl cause let's face it God fucked this girl over.

[Image via WENN]

JUSTIN'S SIGHT ISN'T IMPROVING THEN?

We don't get why Jessica Biel looks like a total mong in photos lately? It's like she's purposely trying to look retarded and not hot. Surely if you were banging (and engaged) to Justin Timberlake you'd wanna make an effort and not resemble a tired mom of 3 with a slight case of downs? Also, the bangs just don't work and we can't understand why she hasn't realized that yet.

[Image via REUTERS]

EVEN PHOTOSHOP CAN'T SAVE THIS

Oh dear. Now we know that it's mean to hate on people purely cause they're fucking ugly, but c'mon Tori Spelling must apply her make up everyday in the mirror whilst crying. The erm heiress was doing a personal appearance at The Grove shopping mall in LA over the weekend to promote yet another shitty TV show she's starring in and she looked like a bad transvestite. We just don't understand what's wrong with her face?

[Image via SPLASH]

WHEN WILL SHE LEARN TO STAY INDOORS?

Why does Natalie Cassidy continue to leave her gaff when she knows she's just giving us more to write about? The "unique" looking soap star was snapped leaving a TV studio in London the other day and if we're honest she looked like a fuckin' alien. Her spam sized forehead is freaking us out, her bra is suffocating her baps and it looks like she was sewn into her jeans. We bet even Sonja would be shaking her head at the sight of this.

[Image via WENN]