THIS IS THE FUTURE OF LINDSAY LOHAN TOO...

Seriously WTF is going on with Tara Reid in general? Her career has been on a downward spiral since American Pie and her weight is always going up and down although more down of late. The mediocre actress was papped walking around LA the other day and the bitch looked skeletal to say the least. With the exception of the air bags in her chest she pretty much looked like a fake skeleton stolen from a high school and then put in a trashy LA outfit. We hope she gains weight before she dies and she really needs to fix the gold color of her hair too cause it's rank. Oh dear... it's pretty evident that these celebs need us in their lives.

[Image via WENN]

EVEN SHARKS WOULDN'T RAPE THIS MESS

One of the reasons that we love Tara Reid is that she's such a hot mess and still actually believes that she's hot and everyone wants to fuck her. The actress who now does shitty TV movies (let's face it American Pie was the height of her career) posted a pic to on Twitter of her splashing around on the beach in Malibu and boy did it look rough to say the least. The poor bitch has always just had that cheap and used look and of course the fuck off fake tits and anorexic frame don't help. We're guessing Californian chicks must age amazingly well with all that sun exposure and poor diet.

[Image via TWITTER]

BITCH PLEASE DON'T TWERK, YOU AIN'T SEXY!

Someone needs to seriously give Miley Cyrus the memo that says she is plenty of things but sexy just ain't one of them. We'll give credit where it's due though cause bitch has got a nice little body on her, but besides that there ain't much else going on for the skank. The face on it is evil and coupled with those teeth she ain't got no fucking chance at finding true love. Please just put the tongue away, hang up the microphone and go work in a zoo cause that's where you belong.

[Image via GETTY]

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER IS TOTES TRUE

We do love a good golden oldie and this Dina & Lindsay Lohan one definitely doesn't disappoint. The actress was snapped partying with her mom a while back and boy did they both look a sight for sore eyes. To be honest they'd look super at home walking up and down Hollywood Blvd during the night and let's face it that would help with LiLo's money problems. Talk about one fuck off catastrophic downward spiral.

[Image via REX]

YOU AIN'T 25 YEARS OLD ANYMORE HONEY

Seriously what the fuck does Madonna think she looks like? The singer was snapped vacaying in Italy recently and for some reason she thought it'd look cool to sport a grille like Rihanna. We would of referenced Miley but it doesn't work on that bitch either...another story in itself. Anyhow the past-it slapper appeared to have had a little more work done to her famous mug cause her cheeks were plumped up like hell and it's pretty much impossible for a 55 year old to be wrinkle free. It's a shame she's so irrelevant now, but maybe if she ditched the hooker look and went for something more age appropriate audiences would start to embrace her again?

[Image via AP]

HEARING MY BONES CLICK MAKES ME HAPPY!

You know that Alexa Chung is just a fame hungry half Chinese chick who loves king prawn fried rice but won't ever eat the fucker. The former T4 presenter (she wants people to forget about that) was snapped having a crafty fag after yet another day of starvation on the streets of Brooklyn and boy did the bitch look ill. It must be so tiresome being such a trendsetting NYC hipster, so we're guessing she just doesn't have time to eat? Oh and FYI Alexa, you're from Hampshire or somewhere in China so it doesn't really work love. Either cover up those rank legs or just admit you know how many calories are in toothpaste cause everyone knows you're fat inside. Oh and if there's an annoying PC person reading this, we ain't racist cause we had a Chinese last night.

[Image via X17]

WHO KNEW ANNIE WAS A BLACK TRANNY?

Oh dear Rihanna we sure ain't feeling this look! The singer who shits out singles like hotcakes decided to ditch her trusted weave and show off her natural locks and to be honest we get why she hides her real hair now. The poor bitch looked like a cross between between a tranny version of Annie and a ghetto rag doll. What the hell with it debut next huh?

[Image via TWITTER]

WE CAN'T STOP...HATIN' ON THIS FOLLOWER

For some reason we've never liked Miley Cyrus cause she looks like a cunt who'd deck you in the school cafeteria for giving her the wrong look. Anyway the singer who achieved fame through her hick daddy was snapped working the red carpet at a promo event for her new album in LA recently and the woman looked a fool. The hair was all wrong and does she think she's black now with that grill? Someone needs to tell the bitch that the rock chick look she's sporting doesn't work when you're from a family who plucks chickens for dinner. We can't tell whether she's a young star in Hollywood or a dyke from Norway who owns a tattoo parlor, but what we do know is that it's trying way too hard and looks lame.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

NICKI SHOULDN'T WORRY BOUT COMPETITION

Just what is going on up in the brain of Lil' Kim these days is what we'd love to know. The past-it ghetto singer was seen attending a charity event recently and it looked fucking horrendous compared to just a few years previous. We're not sure why she's rocking the crack whore bitch look cause it just don't suit her period. Not sure what the story is with those eyebrows or that Jackson family nose either honey, but you need to check yo self in the mirror and get it fixed.

[Image via GETTY]

THIS IS MORE ANNOYING THAN RACHEL ZOE

What did Brad Goreksi think he looked like when he checked in the mirror before leaving to host the AMA's last month is what we wanna know? The celebrity "stylist" or Canadian import that attracts wealthy fag hags was seen on the red carpet with his microphone at the ready and he looked like a gay beaver who was trying too hard. The hair looked like a wall of steel and we never realized he had such huge fuck-off ears. Canadians already get a bad rep as it is, but Brad being one certainly doesn't help.

[Image via ABC]

LOOKING THIS CHEAP SURE DOES COST

Doesn't the humble Tamara Ecclestone just look the picture of class here? The billion dollar heiress was papped walking around a casino in Las Vegas over the weekend and she was dressed to the nines (as a hooker) for her evening out. The cheap looking frock, orange tan, suffocated tits and clown make-up resembled a Monet painting aka a fucking mess. That lovely foot tattoo is just the perfect finishing touch too.

[Image via CRUISE]

DOES SHE THINK SHE'S FROM HACKNEY?

Miley Cyrus seems to be very confused lately as she's dressing like she's London trash from Hackney's east end, as opposed to the Ozark skank from hickville that she's so ashamed to actually be. The singer (if auto-tune counts) was papped strolling around LA on a shopping spree and it just looked a fucking state. We know it's young so she's trying out different styles and shit, but have you ever seen such a lame ass try hard in your life? Get your cowboy boots out of your closet Miley and embrace your southern (incestuous) background.

[Inage via X17]

THE POOR MAN'S ANNA WINTOUR

We've always believed that Carine Roitfield is to fashion what Britney Spears is to music...completely pointless. The former editor-in-chief of French Vogue was papped at a recent charity event in NYC and looked like an extra from Planet Of The Apes to say the least. Next month is a biggie for the dirty Parisian import because she's set to release the very first issue of her new magazine simply called CR Fashion Book. Wow, we simply can't get over how inspirational the name sounds. Even though it's biannual we'll give it 5 issues tops, cause let's face it Anna Wintour will squash this shit like a fly.

[Image via GETTY]

OUR CRYSTAL BALL PREDICTED THIS SHIT

If we're honest we feel a lot of embarrassment for not only Madonna, but her 50 adopted kids too. The singer (OAP) is currently touring around the world to support her latest record and she's already got her baps out here and there. What we wanna know is when will she get that's not a good look when you're mid-song and your hip breaks? Whatever goes through this bitch's head is beyond us, but we wouldn't be at all surprised if the above pic soon become a reality. Can't you just see her performing Hung Up in 20 years climbing the walls with a walker in tow?

[Image via LA BOOK BOY]

WHO IS THIS BITCH TRYING TO KID?

Oh ain't Alexa Chung just the picture of health! Now the only thing that pisses us off more than a wannabe fashion icon, is one who actually believes they're relevant. The triple size zero "model" (dickhead) was papped walking the streets of NYC recently with what appeared to be a packet of Cheetos and a can of Coke in her hand. Erm sorry but is this bitch having a laugh? If it's weight is anything to go by then the only coke this thing has seen is the type that you keep on a CD case. Oh and holding a packet of chips is like calling us all fucking idiots. Did we mention that we're not really a fan?

[Image via BIG PICTURE]