DON'T TRY AND EAT THE MICROPHONE TOO

Kelly Clarkson has always had a good set of pipes, but for some reason the singer and former Idol winner can never seem to stabilize her weight. It seems she's either Free Willy or Nicole Richie and we don't get why it's so hard for some birds? The poor thing really needs a new stylist too cause the person behind all her recent outfits is clearly holding a grudge.

[Image via WENN]

MAYBE IT IS BETTER SKINNY?

When we stumbled upon this LOVELY vintage pic of Jennifer Hudson we almost vommed up our lunch cause those arms look like a nasty pair of whale thighs. Anyway our point is that maybe the singer does look better when she's anorexic but we're still kinda undecided. When it's thin she looks like a fugly horse and when it was like this (we'll call it Motown Flubber) she looks a right fucking beast that would eat you if you got in her way. What do y'all think?

[Image via WIRE]

THIS BREED OF DOG IS STILL UNKNOWN

Oh honey, this ain't a good one is it? Oscar winning actress Jennifer Hudson was snapped around LA filming a new Weight Watchers commercial and it looked positively evil if we're honest. For some reason she's tragically attached to her $5 hooker weave and that weight loss just ain't working for her bone structure cause it makes the poor bitch look fugly as hell. Please just pile it back on love cause we think you look a lot better when you're morbidly obese.

[Image via SPLASH]

OOMPA LOOMPA'S ARE AFRICAN AMERICAN

For some reason Jennifer Hudson does NOT look right when she's not obese, and if we're honest (like we wouldn't be) being thinner makes her look fucking ugly. The former Idol and Oscar winner (get it bitch) was seen attending some crappy event in LA over the weekend and looked like an orange drag queen in a hooker weave. Out of everything, and there's a lot wrong here, we find the pronounced jawline and man hands quite creepy, but let's face it this girl ain't no looker and weight actually makes it look better. We bet Kirstie Alley is jealous about that.

[Image via SPLASH]

THIS BITCH ISN'T MEANT TO BE SKINNY

Okay so we get that we've been hating kinda hard on Jennifer Hudson lately, but lady just hasn't been looking good so she can suck it. The singer and former fat bitch was papped singing away at some charity gig and if we're honest it looked a fucking mess. The car crash outfit, bowlegged posture and Muppet-like features are making us shake our heads with embarrassment. We think someone definitely needs to sack the stylist.

[Image via AP]

GET THIS THING A BALE OF HAY

Holy moly! Jennifer Hudson has got one fuck off pair of teeth on her ain't she? We wonder if it neigh's like a horse in the morning? Anyway the human version of Black Beauty (she wishes) was papped arriving at the airport and by the looks of the photo she almost swallowed the photographer. Also, we're not really getting why she still hasn't ditched that $2 hooker weave yet? Granted it's got a good voice, but she's not a looker the poor thing.

[Image via XPOSURE]

WEIGHT WATCHERS ARE DESPERATE

Jennifer Hudson's career seemed to be on the up and up at one point, but in recent years she seems to becoming more boring by the minute. After losing 100 pounds on the Weight Watchers (anorexia) plan, Jen now thinks she's cool cause she's thin. Well bitch better think again cause she's become lame. Doesn't she get that we only want her fat whilst singing like a crazy bitch? That fucking wig is atrocious too.

[Image via INF]

AT LEAST IT'S WORKING OUT

Looks like someone has been reading The Sizzling Mess and finally decided to get their OBESE ass into gear. Pop star (stretching it) Kelly Clarkson was papped leaving the gym in LA over the weekend and although she still looked slightly funtish we'll give her an A for effort. Her face looked weird (well fucked if we're honest) and her body just screamed binge eater. We really hope she can turn her image around and get back to the top of the charts. Did you just see that pig fly?

[Image via NPG]

BREAKAWAY FROM YA EATING PATTERNS

Fuck us hard cause we just can't believe what Kelly Clarkson's stylist has put her in this time. The former Idol winner has become a right funt (fat cunt) lately and we just wish she'd put down the donuts and record a decent song already. Good old Kel wore a skin tight Herve Leger dress, which is a popular choice with celebs who like to show off their curves (fat). Unfortunately on this occasion it was another fail for the fattie and it's back to the drawing board or in her case the fridge.

[Image via WENN]

AMERICAN IDOL MEETS JUNGLE BOOK

Although we are most definitely NOT racist, we are biting our tongues with this one of fess (fucking mess) Jennifer Hudson. We can't quite believe it's the same girl (thing) and once again like every mess we've posted about lately, we reckon we could fuck this bitches nostrils too. Ooo it really does look fuckin' DOG rough though and that $5 wig belongs on a scarecrow. Ennit crazy what make up can do!

[Image via WENN/PEOPLE]

BEHIND THESE THUNDER THIGHS

Holy FUCKING Christ (sorry man above) is all we have to say about this pic. It looks like EPIC fat bitch Kelly Clarkson has NO intention of having a successful album with a figure like a beached whale in flares. The singer (fucking pig) was doing a gig in Texas and as you can see she was screaming her brains out on stage. Word on the street is that her assistant forgot to bring along doughnuts...oops! On a more serious note, it looked like Kelly (urgh sounds well common by it's first name) was about to eat her microphone instead. Now that's just greedy!

[Image via REX FEATURES]