MAYBE JOLENE WAS MORE NATURAL?

We get that the pic on the right isn't one of Dolly Parton's best angles, but you can't deny that bitch is looking fucking scary as shit these days. The country (fag) icon was snapped at an event in Dallas recently and in comparison to her younger days it looked like a walking science project. Gone are the plump cheeks and youthful glow and in their place is a nasty stretched thing with clown make-up. Don't get this shit twisted cause we LOVE us some Dolly but lady has taken it way too far.

[Image via GETTY/WENN]

HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT MARRIED MEN?

Another day another husband to steal is a good motto to live by according to singer Leanne Rimes, but the other day she took a break from riding cock and decided to get a work out in after the holidays. If you ask us she really needed it cause her thighs were looking a lot heftier after having a whole can of tuna for Christmas diner...greedy bitch. Anyway we just thought she looked like a baby pig straining for a shit minus the slap and as always we love to share world news like this. Enjoy!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WORKING 9 TO 5 ON THE BOULEVARD

The queen of country Dolly Parton was snapped on the red carpet and she really did look like an over the hill human Barbie doll. The CLASSY wig looked highly flammable, her cheeks looked like an ass crack and her tits were giving Katie Price a run for her money. What have the fuck have you done to yourself honey? The bitch is only 65 and she looked like a waxwork figure of some cheap hooker. Less is more!

[Image via GETTY]

MONKEY BUSINESS

Now we've never really been that bothered when it comes to "singer" LeAnn Rimes, but what truly makes us interested in her is the fact that she ain't no oil panting whether she's dressed up or down. We get that she's a total health freak (bulimic in denial), but even after shedding 50 pounds (much needed), she still resembles an extra from Planet Of The Apes. In our minds she seems about 46, but she's actually just 28. Rather hard to believe if you ask us. Anyhoo here she is looking like a ugly duckling that is trying to convince the world she's a swan. B+ for the outfit though.

[Image via SPLASH]