YOU KNOW ANGELINA LOVES SEEING THIS

Poor old Jennifer Aniston is the girl that's always going to be pitied no matter what her net worth grows to. She's got the career (luck and timing at best) and the cute girl looks when she's made up, but one thing she ain't is a natural beauty people. On top of that it's gotta hurt your self esteem for life when you're man was tapping another woman's pussy behind your back and then left you for her...oh and it makes it all worse when the woman was Angelina Jolie. We'd love to be a fly on the wall when Jen & Ange are doing their weekly grocery shop...talk about about a soap opera.

[Image via GC/WARNER BROS]

PICKING UP THE PIECES...OF BROKEN MIRROR

Holy shit balls peeps! Paloma Faith was looking fucking dog rough the other day whilst out on a run in Hyde Park and according to sources passers by were gagging cause bitch looked so fugly. Overall it's a bit annoying and he tunes are mediocre at best, but boy does the poor woman look like the back end of a bus without slap. The singer is known for her glam retro appearance and now we get why she cakes on so much shit.

[Image via GETTY]

SELFIES SHOULD DO YOU JUSTICE HONEY

We're not sure if Nicki Minaj understood that when you take selfies you're supposed to look hot and not like some ghetto bitch who looks like she'd give you a black eye for the last seat on the subway. Anyway the Starships singer apparently thought she looked fuckable enough cause lady posted the above snap on her Instagram account sans make-up and to be honest she looked rough as shit. At least she ditched the wig and has taken a more natural approach, but in a way we can kinda see why she shovels on so much slap #justsaying.

[Image via INSTAGRAM]

MOTHERHOOD IS TREATING YOU WELL #LYING

Oh honey why've you let yourself turn into such a mess? We know Adele shat out a baby in the last year or whatever but it looks like she's still eating for 2 judging by the snap above. The singer was papped walking round London sans baby and looked rather special if you catch our drift. Maybe she'd recently had some dental work done cause her lips looked a little dodgy to say the least. We're not sure what she does these days besides eat and spend her royalties (rich bitch), but we hope some new music is in the works.

[Image via VANTAGE]

STOP RIGHT NOW AND GET THE SLAP LOVE!

So after seeing this shit it's pretty clear that Mel B is one of the unfortunate women out there that need a fuck load of make-up to look good cause bitch looks nasty sans slap. Scary Spice was papped en route to dinner in London recently and she sure lived up to her rough bitch from Leeds name cause it looked she'd deck anyone who fucked her off. Not much else to say cause let's face it she's kinda boring and far too brassy for our liking.

[Image via AKM-GSI]

WHY WAS THIS BITCH EVEN ON BB PEOPLE?

Oh dear that ain't a good shot is it Liz Jones? The former fashion editor was seen leaving Channel 5 studios after being evicted from Big Brother the other day and the bitch looked rough as shit. Now usually we wouldn't write about someone so irrelevant, but when you look like a Muppet character it's hard not to people. We don't really know what it is and we really don't understand how some bitter columnist managed to get onto a show (it's shit granted but still) that features celebs?

[Image via FLYNET]

DID YOU GO AND SHIT YOURSELF HONEY?

Okay so we're really not sure what Julianne Moore was thinking when she looked in the mirror and left her house cause bitch looked like she'd gone and doodied in her pants. The ginga actress was papped walking the streets of NYC the other day in what can only be described as hareem pants gone wrong. Do you think she tried to salvage the look by tucking her pants into those foul boots thinking it made the ensemble look better? We love her nonetheless but she looks like a lemon and lady can do way better.

[Image via SPLASH]

MEG EVEN POSES LIKE A FRICKIN' DOG!

We still don't understand why Ashton cheated on Demi with this Jewish thing? Now we ain't got nothing against Jews, we simply use the term for effect but fuck Mila Kunis is one rough dog. The voice of stunner Meg Griffin was seen out with her stolen goods (boyfriend) and some random dog who by chance happened to be making the same facial expression as her. Still don't think the bitch is a dog or a husband stealer?

[Image via AKM-GSI]

CARINE ROITFELD DEFINITELY NEEDS A RAISE!

Mila Kunis really is one of those birds that needs make-up cause without it she looks dog rough and that's being kind. The actress was the face of Dior accessories not so long ago and it seems stylist Carine Roitfeld has magical powers cause she turned her from a pig into a swan judging by the above snaps. It really is shocking that this is even the same person and just proves how much celebs rely on slap these days.

[Image via DIOR/PACIFIC COAST]

THE INSIDIOUS BRIDE WOULD BE SHOCKED

The Sizzling Mess is still finding it kinda hard to get over how rough and plain Rose Bryne looks minus the slap and this occasion was no exception! The actress was snapped having a quick coffee in LA over the weekend and looked virtually unrecognizable if you compare her to Helen from Bridesmaids! It's totes shocking and tbh we're just wondering how she landed such a hot fucking husband?

[Image via SPLASH]

YOU AIN'T ONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

We always wondered what Dita Von Teese ever saw in Marilyn Manson cause let's face it he ain't exactly a looker is he? The rock star who once used to be relevant (like Xtina but bad music) was snapped at a film premiere in LA recently and boy did it look horrendous sans slap. We don't even know what it is and what's the grill too Miley?

[Image via FILM MAGIC]

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING?

Carol McGiffin is one fucking ugly bird and we don't give a shit if that's offensive cause our faces are offended from having to see her mug on the box. The rough TV host is currently on Celebrity Big Brother and as usual she's looking like her dog rough slapper self. Seriously though we don't even know what it is and we're being serious.

[Image via REX]

GATSBY WON'T FUCK YOU LIKE THIS HONEY!

Oh dear this ain't a very good snap of Carey Mulligan is it people? The posh British actress was papped arriving at LAX with her Mumford & Sons hubby and bitch looked rough as shit. We had to do a second take at first cause we couldn't actually believe she was this plain minus the slap! What the hell would Leo say to this people?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

WE PREFER THIS THING AS A WOMAN

Now we've never been big fans of drag queens cause to be quite frank they scare the living shit out of us, but in the case of RuPaul we think it's safe to say it looks better as a chick. The elderly homo was seen walking the red carpet for his new book release the other night and he looked like a walking skeleton with AIDS. Seriously what's going on with that jawline buddy? It's kinda shocking how bad and fucking sick he looks without all the drag crap he usually sports.

[Image via LOGO TV/WENN]

KAREN WOULD TOTES AVOID THIS IN SCHOOL

Amanda Seyfried is kinda like the younger version of Jennifer Aniston cause let's face it, she's an average actress at best who got fucking lucky. We've never really been able to take it seriously besides her role as Karen in Mean Girls (ironic much), but the above photo of her running errands in LA shocked the hell outta us! The actress who offends the likes of Meryl Streep looked like she'd stepped off a space ship cause bitch looks liked an extra from E.T. and we don't mean that shite Katy Perry tune.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

GUESS JEN REALLY NEEDS THE SLAP THEN!

We really don't know what's been going on with Jennifer Aniston and her fuck off bloated face and mannish appearance lately, but bitch finally looked hot the other day after 3 hours in the hair and make-up chair! The actress (laughable really) was seen en route to an interview in NYC the other day complete with her usual blown out mane and mini dress look and we definitely get why she sticks to this now cause it works like a cunt. Show off your pins, push up your tits, make sure your hair covers that strong jaw and pray your balls don't fall out girlfriend.

[Image via WIRE/FLYNET]

HELEN WOULDN'T LEAVE HER GAFF LIKE THIS

It's amazing what a bit of a slap and a blowdryer can do for ya looks and it seems that Rose Byrne is living proof that you can go from butters to pretty for a movie role. The actress from Bridesmaids was papped getting groceries from her local market in LA and lady looked rough as arse holes to say the the least. Now it could just be a genuinely shite photo but whatever the case bitch don't look hot with that mong face. Just sayin'.

[Image via UNIVERSAL/PACIFIC COAST]

GOOD LORD YOU SURE AIN'T BEAUTIFUL!

Holy shit balls, Mimi is one hell of a yo-yo dieter that's for sure! Mariah Carey was snapped leaving a TV studio in NYC this past week and it looked totally different from her latest music video featuring fellow singer Miguel. Gone was the flowing shiny hair, hot body and skimpy outfits and in it's place was a frumpy fat average mom (we know we'll get hate for that but fuck it) with a bad 80s perm. We literally don't get how this bitch can go from looking so hot to a complete mess who needs to go back in the time machine.

[Image via X17]

THE POOR KID DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE

No we don't mean that cause Cynthia Nixon likes to munch on carpet, but because of the way the bitch looks. Don't get it twisted cause we love us some Miranda but lately the actress has totally let herself go and is often seen wandering the streets of NYC looking a total dyke mess. On this occasion however she left her Home Depot overalls in the closet and threw on a dress and some wedges (the horror) and she didn't look all that bad. The poor bitch did look dog rough though as she pushed her carrot top kid around in a stroller whilst shopping for a new drill. We miss the androgynous wardrobe Miranda used to sport!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

HOW'S YOUR "CLOTHING LINE" GOING HONEY?

Now we've never seen the big deal with this bitch cause even though she's got a nice set of pins and we'd happily give her one, it really ain't all that underneath the cake mix. Whitney Port aka the boring slut from MTV's The City was papped getting a massage in LA recently and the poor thing looked rough as fuck. Aside from her usual down-syndrome eyes, it looked like she'd had a run-in with Chris Brown and we don't even know what's going on with the tongue. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid as to turn down advice from fellow reality star Olivia Palermo she'd look a lot better.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]