MONICA GELLER IS JUST A DISTANT MEMORY...

It makes us kinda said that Courteney Cox feels the need to do all this shit to her face cause she used to be so pretty. The former star of hit TV show Friends posted a pic to her Instagram account of her filming a new movie, so while that hair is most likely a wig those lips are very much hers (or not). It's like she's just been told her entire family died in an airplane crash and this is her expression of sadness. The frozen dead eyes and puffy fish lips are just awful and you'd think her "natural is the way" BFF Jennifer Aniston would at least say something.

[Image via INSTAGRAM]

EVEN SHARKS WOULDN'T RAPE THIS MESS

One of the reasons that we love Tara Reid is that she's such a hot mess and still actually believes that she's hot and everyone wants to fuck her. The actress who now does shitty TV movies (let's face it American Pie was the height of her career) posted a pic to on Twitter of her splashing around on the beach in Malibu and boy did it look rough to say the least. The poor bitch has always just had that cheap and used look and of course the fuck off fake tits and anorexic frame don't help. We're guessing Californian chicks must age amazingly well with all that sun exposure and poor diet.

[Image via TWITTER]

WE CAN'T FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT FOR ELT...

Poor old Elton John was finally snapped out shopping in LA the other without his famous round spectacles and let's just say we now get why he wears them all the time. The campy legend was seen browsing a wig store (shocker) in the Hollywood area and we're hoping he was planning to replace the dodgy rug he was papped wearing. What's going on with that bloodshot eye though and you'd think with all his dosh he'd get those eye bags removed wouldn't you?

[Image via GOLDEN EYE]

DOES POOR ANTONIO ACTUALLY FUCK THIS?

Whatever happened to the cute Melanie Griffith that graced out screens in Working Girl people? Nowadays the poor bitch looks more like a Beverly Hills science project than an aging actress and we don't get why she continues to screw with her face. Even a $4,000 Balenciaga jacket in goat leather can't save her from looking a freak show which is incredibly sad. Even money can't save this bitch no more so maybe she should do a Mia Farrow and become a weird "I am of the Earth" freak who adopts every kid she lays her eyes on.

[Image via GETTY]

WE LOVE A WOMAN WITH AN ANKLE TATTOO

Angela Raiola aka Big Ang seems to get uglier by the minute cause judging from the latest pics of her sunning her massive tits on the beach in Florida she's got even more scary. The big lipped and full chested Italian reality star is mainly known for getting drunk, sucking cock and saying outrageous shit...but this is of course why we love her. You've gotta love a legend even when they're cheap as fuck and sport tattoos above their pussies.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE HONEY?

Oh honey why have you still not bought a mirror? Lauren Goodger really doesn't understand just how fucking mucky and nasty she looks cause bitch turned up to some shitty product launch recently looking like a walking turd. The former TOWIE star seems to like resembling a diarrhea strain cause that tan just ain't going nowhere. All we wanna do it rip out the extensions, wipe all that muck off her face and stick her through a car wash.

[Image via REX]

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS WOMAN 60 YEARS OLD?

Okay so we know that it's totally unfair to follow an Adele post with someone this hot, but y'all can't deny that Christie Brinkley is one smokin' hot bitch considering the woman is 60 years old! The supermodel was papped walking the pink carpet at an event for Barbie (she doesn't look THAT young) and lady was a force to be reckoned with. She flaunted her shit hot curves in a slinky Victoria Beckham number and we literally think she had the carpet sweating. Who in God's name is this woman's plastic surgeon?

[Image via GETTY]

OH MANDY, WHAT'S BARRY DONE TO HIMSELF?

Barry Manilow has always had that high maintenance pedophile kinda look about him and it was no different the other day when it stepped out looking like a total freak of nature. The singer was seen running errands around Palm Springs and boy did he look odd to say the least. What we don't get is why he'd have all that plastic surgery and not get the fuck off massive Jew nose fixed? Even that ear lives in it's own zip code and those cheeks look suspiciously plump for a dude who's almost 70 years old. We think it's best when men go au naturel and this case is no different...oh and FYI Barry we know you're wearing a rug on your head.

[Image via SPLASH]

ALL THAT $$$ AND IT'S STILL CHEAP AS FUCK

Poor old Mariah Carey can never quite seem to get it just right in the class department cause despite having a personal fortune of almost $600 million she still looks like a $2 hooker in drag at times. MC was snapped knocking out a tune at the recent BET awards and appeared to have taken some major inspiration from Jessica Rabbit. It's kinda awkward when a cartoon wins in the sexy stakes though and the seams on this dress must've been screaming for help.

[Image via SPLASH]

CORPSE SPOTTED WALKING STREETS OF MILAN

It seems that every time we do a post on poor Donatella Versace she actually manages to get uglier. The designer was spotted walking the streets of Milan the other day and apparently onlookers panicked as they believed they were walking amongst the dead. Seriously though everything is wrong with this woman and it's super bad considering she heads the house of Versace looking like a liver sausage in a wig. Her body is too skinny and rank for her age and we don't need to say much about that face do we? Man whoever sleeps with this must scream when they see it first thing in the morning cause we think we'd have a mini coronary if we'd penetrated something so unworthy of love.

[Image via SPLASH]

MIRRORS MUST FUCKING HATE THIS FACE!

Jackie Stallone is one of those birds who we're not sure what they've done their whole life besides look fucking ugly. The mother of now irrelevant Sylvester was seen shopping in LA recently and even with a dab of slap it still looked horrific to say the least. Obviously this bitch has taken her plastic surgery addiction way too far, but it doesn't seem like she gives a shit. Who knows...maybe she likes looking like a corpse in drag?

[Image via COLEMAN-RAYNER]

ERM SO WAS KRIS THE HUSBAND OR THE WIFE?

Bruce Jenner has literally become a middle aged dyke or that's what he's looking like these days. The former husband of new money trash reality star Kris Jenner (mom of slut Kim K) was snapped leaving a plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills the other day after having his Adam's Apple shaved down...er what the fuck though right? We're not sure if it wants to be a chick cause we can spy some titties growing under his shirt there, but whatever anyway it's just creepy and we don't know what he is at all.

[Image via SPLASH]

GIRL DON'T WANNA REMEMBER THIS MOMENT

Nicki Minaj basically personifies all things fake and over the top, but girl seriously needs to check her hairline before leaving the house cause she looked a mess during a recent personal appearance. The ghetto singer was papped doing promo for her shit perfume and looked like a drag queen being swallowed by a cheap wig. We kinda like the music she shits out but besides that it's pretty much a ghetto train wreck.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHY WAS THIS BITCH EVEN ON BB PEOPLE?

Oh dear that ain't a good shot is it Liz Jones? The former fashion editor was seen leaving Channel 5 studios after being evicted from Big Brother the other day and the bitch looked rough as shit. Now usually we wouldn't write about someone so irrelevant, but when you look like a Muppet character it's hard not to people. We don't really know what it is and we really don't understand how some bitter columnist managed to get onto a show (it's shit granted but still) that features celebs?

[Image via FLYNET]

CADY HERON ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE?

We genuinely miss the days when Lindsay Lohan didn't look like an alcoholic housewife from Orange County cause we just don't recognize the woman above. The actress was snapped attending some shitty fashion show in China a while back and boy did she look rough. The usual bloated face and trout pout lips made an appearance and we're not sure what's going on with the front part of her hair cause it looks like straw. Poor old LiLo needs to look in the mirror cause for 27 she looks weird and haggard.

[Image via REX]

THE POOR GIRL GETS FUGLIER BY THE DAY...

Oh man it really can't be easy when you're Tori Spelling cause the bitch truly is a dog bless her. The former 90210 actress was papped shopping in Beverly Hills with her dog and it didn't look good at all. It's kinda like Barbie got raped by Frankenstein and this was the product that came out...much to shock of the mother we can imagine. We're not sure what she does these days but Tori could definitely take advantage of the many plastic surgeons in the area cause it'd be money well spent. Just sayin'.

[Image via SPLASH]

MOMMIE DEAREST AIN'T LOOKING SO GOOD

To open the new year we found this corker of old Hollywood legend Faye Dunaway leaving her hotel in London a few days ago. The former actress had either got gang raped on New Year's Eve and done too much coke or simply just aged terribly. Her once razor sharp features have been replaced with tight looking skin covered in liver spots and what's going on with that mammoth ear? We also didn't know that 72 year old stars are now dressing like chavs.

[Image via GREG BRENNAN]

WE DIDN'T KNOW SHAZZA WAS A GYPSY?

What the fuck has happened to the once attractive Sharon Osbourne? These days the money grabbing Jewish music manager is looking more like the Bride of Frankenstein than an aging woman. The cheap looking red barnet and puffy frozen face ain't a good look and it seems Shazza has taken her surgeries a few steps too far. Less is more lady!

[Image via REX]

THE ADDAMS FAMILY HAVE ARRIVED PEOPLE

Back in the day Sharon Osbourne looked damn good for her age, but nowadays Shazza don't even look like herself. As for the daughter Kelly she's one big retro tranny mess who gives fashion advice...sorry we just can't even go there. What the fuck has Sharon done to her lips though cause it just looks like one massive trout pout people. There is a limit to what you should have done honey!

[Image via SPLASH]

THERE AIN'T NOTHING VOID TO ENTER NO MORE

What in the fuck has happened to Paz De La Huerta? We like how that reads she's so relevant but in reality everyone is gonna be like who the fuck is this bitch? Anyway the actress (she ain't done much) was snapped partying with a pal who looked suspiciously like Paula Yates from beyond the grave and lady looked like a total bloated mess. We're not sure if she's eating scripts as opposed to reading them nowadays, but bitch seriously needs to assess her portion control. Girl's got a right pair of birthing hips on her en all!

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]