WE CAN'T FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT FOR ELT...

Poor old Elton John was finally snapped out shopping in LA the other without his famous round spectacles and let's just say we now get why he wears them all the time. The campy legend was seen browsing a wig store (shocker) in the Hollywood area and we're hoping he was planning to replace the dodgy rug he was papped wearing. What's going on with that bloodshot eye though and you'd think with all his dosh he'd get those eye bags removed wouldn't you?

[Image via GOLDEN EYE]

SELFIES SHOULD DO YOU JUSTICE HONEY

We're not sure if Nicki Minaj understood that when you take selfies you're supposed to look hot and not like some ghetto bitch who looks like she'd give you a black eye for the last seat on the subway. Anyway the Starships singer apparently thought she looked fuckable enough cause lady posted the above snap on her Instagram account sans make-up and to be honest she looked rough as shit. At least she ditched the wig and has taken a more natural approach, but in a way we can kinda see why she shovels on so much slap #justsaying.

[Image via INSTAGRAM]

WHAT HAPPENED TO NENE LEAKES Y'ALL?

If you're all cultured and well educated then you'll be up to speed when it comes to Nene Leakes' bad wigs on the latest season of Real Housewives of Atlanta. The reality star who's really just more of a mannish bully was seen on the latest episode looking like a hot ghetto mess. The horrendous hairpiece, tacky jewelry and bad outfit are just a glimpse into the awful style choices bitch has made thus far in the new season. We don't know what's going on girl but you better look in the mirror before you sit in front of a camera next time.

[Image via BRAVO]

FILL IN THE BLANK FOR A GHETTO MESS...

After I stuck my hairline down with superglue I thought DAYUM I look so _____________________ I'm gon' leave the house looking like this.

[Image via GOOGLE]

GIRL DON'T WANNA REMEMBER THIS MOMENT

Nicki Minaj basically personifies all things fake and over the top, but girl seriously needs to check her hairline before leaving the house cause she looked a mess during a recent personal appearance. The ghetto singer was papped doing promo for her shit perfume and looked like a drag queen being swallowed by a cheap wig. We kinda like the music she shits out but besides that it's pretty much a ghetto train wreck.

[Image via SPLASH]

THIS JUST CANNOT BE LEGEND WHITNEY!

We kinda hate the last tour Whitney Houston did before she died cause not only was it her worst vocal performance, but the woman looked horrendous. The ridiculously talented and now deceased singer was papped doing her show in London back in 2010 and you literally can't tell who it is to be honest. Where the hell did her cheekbones disappear to guys? Such a shame cause music is such shit nowadays. Just sayin.'

[Image via GETTY]

WE AIN'T RUBBING A MAGIC LAMP FOR THIS!

Now we LOVE us some Nene Leakes but lady often looks like a fuck off drag queen and on this occasion the bitch got the look spot on. The outspoken Real Housewives star was seen on the set of Extra the other day rocking a new hairpiece and let's just say it didn't do her any favors. With the addition of the double chin that perfectly finishes this look off, we think it's safe to say that this genie should stay inside the magic lamp.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

GUESS JEN REALLY NEEDS THE SLAP THEN!

We really don't know what's been going on with Jennifer Aniston and her fuck off bloated face and mannish appearance lately, but bitch finally looked hot the other day after 3 hours in the hair and make-up chair! The actress (laughable really) was seen en route to an interview in NYC the other day complete with her usual blown out mane and mini dress look and we definitely get why she sticks to this now cause it works like a cunt. Show off your pins, push up your tits, make sure your hair covers that strong jaw and pray your balls don't fall out girlfriend.

[Image via WIRE/FLYNET]

MORE LIKE JENNIFER MANISTON RIGHT GUYS?

Okay so we've never really understood the fascination with Jennifer Aniston cause let's face it; she's an average actress who got lucky at best and while she can sometimes look cute we've never been a fan of a woman with a strong jaw. The former FRIENDS star was seen filming a new movie in NYC over the weekend and sported a wig that made onlookers do a double take cause lady resembled a full on dude in drag. The only thing missing from this clownish look was a five o'clock shadow, but at least we know that Jen can't pull off every hairstyle out there. Did you clock her fuck off massive engagement ring too? Must be nice to have lots of money ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHY THE FUCK DOES KIMMY WEAR WIGS?

Holy shit is what we thought when we first clapped eyes on this pic of Kim Zolciak. Now we ain't her biggest fan cause let's face it; she's a trashy and talentless hick who looks like a drag queen. That is until she ditched the fake tan, wigs and clown make-up, cause judging by her latest Twitter snap lady is looking mighty fine. Now we know it totally goes against the rules of The Sizzling Mess to be nice to celebs (even to Xtina), but there ain't no denying that Kim looks pretty stunning in the right pic, albeit in the Anna Nicole Smith (non-corpse) porn star kinda way. Still though bitch looks beautiful and should keep it au naturel by rockin' her own fabulous hair more often. Remember that less is always more honey!

[Image via SPLASH/TWITTER]

UGLY CHICKS LIVE ON STARSHIPS

Nicki Minaj probably uploaded the above snap to her Twitter thinking she looked like hot shit, but in reality it just further highlighted how much of an ugly chick she is. The ghetto skank rapper appeared to be trying on wedding dresses a' la cheap style, but who the hell would put a ring on this shit? We don't mind a few of her tunes and these fake ass titties, but she looks more like a malnourished Malaysian boy playing dress up than a superstar. Wonder if she's packin' under that fuck off wig too?

[Image via TWITTER]

WHERE'S AMANDA? ERM GOING TO JAIL!

We knew this shit was gonna go down since day one. Amanda Bynes was finally arrested the other day after throwing a bong out of her 32nd floor apartment window. The actress who's having a Britney moment x10 was papped in court complete with her crazy ass wig and looked like a total nutter. We do feel for the gal cause she's clearly not okay and although this shit makes amazing news we hope she gets help and fast.

[Image via SPLASH]

COUSIN ITT WOULD TOTES MARRY THIS

We've always thought that Bruce Jenner had that "I bookmark a shit load of kiddy porn" look about him and this recent photo just confirms our suspicion. The reality TV star was trying to surf with his hot son Brody, but just looked pathetic and to be quite honest scary as fuck. The creepy hair (wig) and moobs ain't helping this look much either. What's going on with those weirdly wide feet too?

[Image via SPLASH]

JUST KEEP BALDING, YEAH KEEP BALDING!

Okay so we totally get that it's okay to become a slap head when you're older, but John Travolta looked more like an AIDS victim when he was seen grabbing a drink in LA recently. The once hot star of Grease appears to have totally let himself go and while Olivia ain't looking too good herself at least the bitch has still got hair. We used to see him as a hot stud but now the poor bastard looks more like a dirty old pedo on welfare. We're in no way saying that John likes to get "happy endings" from his male masseurs, but it sure wouldn't shock us if he did.

[Image via PARAMOUNT/XPOSURE]

RINGING THE NEW YEAR WITH A CARTOON

For some reason Nicki Minaj always looks like a fucked up inflated cartoon in drag, but despite her unfortunate appearance we still love the catchy fluff she shits out that's called music. The fierce ghetto bitch was snapped walking the red carpet at the NYE party for Pure nightclub in Las Vegas the other night and we're pretty sure it's ass could second as a life raft. We wonder if she's used some of her hard earned $$$ and had a tit job too?

[Image via WENN]

THIS BREED OF DOG IS STILL UNKNOWN

Oh honey, this ain't a good one is it? Oscar winning actress Jennifer Hudson was snapped around LA filming a new Weight Watchers commercial and it looked positively evil if we're honest. For some reason she's tragically attached to her $5 hooker weave and that weight loss just ain't working for her bone structure cause it makes the poor bitch look fugly as hell. Please just pile it back on love cause we think you look a lot better when you're morbidly obese.

[Image via SPLASH]

OOMPA LOOMPA'S ARE AFRICAN AMERICAN

For some reason Jennifer Hudson does NOT look right when she's not obese, and if we're honest (like we wouldn't be) being thinner makes her look fucking ugly. The former Idol and Oscar winner (get it bitch) was seen attending some crappy event in LA over the weekend and looked like an orange drag queen in a hooker weave. Out of everything, and there's a lot wrong here, we find the pronounced jawline and man hands quite creepy, but let's face it this girl ain't no looker and weight actually makes it look better. We bet Kirstie Alley is jealous about that.

[Image via SPLASH]

LOOKS LIKE COUSIN ITT MOVED TO ATLANTA

We guess that some people will just never learn to look in the mirror (or at least buy one) before they leave the house and this does seem to be the case for the trashy as hell Kim Zolciak from Real Housewives Of Atlanta, but secretly we hope she never learns cause we love that she's a state. The reality star can be seen in an exclusive sneak peek preview into the new season of the hit Bravo show and as always her wig and it's quality looks uber questionable. We can see that she's not ditched the tacky and so 2003 nails either.

[Image via BRAVO/MGM]

EVEN MODELS HAVE THEIR OFF DAYS

Okay so we get that women ain't gonna look their best while they're on a run, but model Tyra Banks looked fucking awful when she was snapped jogging along the Hudson River recently. The rich bitch has made her fortune through modeling for the world's top designers and even created the now shitty show America's Next Top Model, but this just proves that having all the money in the world won't make you look any better. Is it just us or does she look like a goldfish waiting to be fed?

[Image via SPLASH]

IF YOU READ THIS, PLEASE DON'T HIT US!

You can relax cause the above photo isn't of your maid on vacay who called in sick, it's just "supermodel" Naomi Campbell. The ghetto fabulous bitch who likes to hit people was papped aboard a yacht in France with her billionaire Russian fuck buddy and her hairline appeared to be vacationing elsewhere. Perhaps in the North Pole? Anyway the "kind hearted" model's hair looked fucked to say the least and she looked more like an extra from Alien Vs. Predator. She's not known for having a huge set of baps either, but it looks like she can't buy bikinis in the right size. Just sayin'.

[Image via XCLUSIVE PICS]