DOES THE CORPSE BRIDE ACTUALLY EXIST?

Now we're not gonna be too mean here cause we do have a conscious (yeah right), but Giuliana Rancic is not looking good lately bless her. Thankfully she recovered from breast cancer and has been given the all clear, but she was snapped looking dangerously thin (as in 2007 Nicole Richie weight) and it ain't a good look. The creepy looking Fashion Police host looks very similar to Tim Burton's animated creation (minus the anorexia) and we definitely think she needs some more meat on her bones. Go wolf down a couple cheeseburgers and you'll look so much better.

[Image via E!/Warner Bros]

HOW DOES RICHARD PORK THIS THING?

Holy shit balls! This STUNNING pic of past-it Judy Finnigan is gonna give us some fuck off nightmares that's for sure. The former host of that shit show Richard & Judy was seen running errands around London recently and not only did it look fucking scary, the bitch looked truly BUTTERS to say the least. We're sorry but her husband is way hotter than her and there's no way he's fucking this unless he's cheating on the side. Fuck though...put on some slap next time you leave ya gaff.

[Image via GETTY]

WHERE THE FUCK IS SHARON...LITERALLY?

Yeah even we were like no fucking way is this Sharon Osbourne, but yes people the bitch has actually fucked with her face so much now that she doesn't even resemble her former self. The gobby wife of rock legend Ozzy Osbourne was seen shooting The Talk in LA over the weekend and it looked more like the bride of Frankenstein than a human being. The puffy face didn't even match up to the wrinkly neck, which is an immediate sign of hanging onto one's youth and desperation. Please honey just stop with everything and grow old gracefully!

[Image via PACIFIC]

SOMETIMES EVEN ANIMALS GET IT WRONG

We stumbled across this golden oldie of TV personality (pig) Vanessa Feltz and couldn't help but not feature it on The Sizzling Mess for your viewing pleasure. Now we're not sure what it's up to these days besides eating, but we sure as hell remember the bitch for her rank wardrobe choices. According to sources she actually employs a stylist but we don't know of any respectable stylist who would pull a dress from Frederick's of Hollywood (Ann Summers for English people) and put it on someone for a red carpet event. Well maybe not red, we are only talking about Vanessa Feltz here.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

DENISE IS ON THE RIGHT TALK SHOW

What a classy gal that Denise Welch is huh? The mother and TV presenter (slapper from Manchester) got her baps out whilst in the Big Brother house and it looked a right fess (fucking mess). On top of the tranny make-up, rank tits and beer belly, she simply proved that she's always been the slapper we thought she was. According to inside sources, she also got spit-roasted whilst in the hot tub, but Big Brother had to edit this out as they thought it may be too risque to broadcast. It would have boosted ratings though surely? Oh well, we suppose seeing a pig get gang raped isn't that hot anyway.

[Image via BIG BROTHER]

TIME FOR AN ALLOWANCE INCREASE?

If you've never seen it, this is the sight of a tired hooker. The "talented" Terri Seymour who was Simon Cowell's glorified escort for years was snapped walking around LA running errands and it sure looked DOG rough. The bitch looked like a fucked off vampire in need of a blood hit and can you believe this thing is 37. Maybe it's time to ask Simon for a bit more cash so you can get some work done love?

[Image via INF]