EWWW PLEASE JUST STOP WEARING SHORTS!

Something must be hiding inside Lena Dunham's thighs cause that shape just ain't normal for a white girl unless she majorly lucked out on the gene lottery. Seriously though this bitch makes Nicki Minaj look anorexic. The annoying main star of HBO show Girls was seen walking (those poor shoes) in NYC wearing some horrific shorts that showcased her nasty legs and God knows what else from behind. Furthermore we noticed how oddly shaped her midriff is and how small her tits are...it's like the textbook definition of a pear shape but gone wrong. We get that she's a good writer and bla bla bla, but all we really wanna do is shove a sock in her mouth.

[Image via SPLASH]

HOW IS THIS BITCH STILL ALIVE...FOR REAL?

We genuinely don't understand how Gabourey Sidibe both continues to walk the earth and also breathe in general? The actress isn't just huge she's mammoth and must live in multiple zip codes due to her larger than life frame. While we liked her in Precious and AHS Coven there ain't no denying that this bitch is one epic walrus. Surely her heart is crying on a daily basis and her toilet must literally hate her and sweat in fear after every meal she ingests.

[Image via GETTY]

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THIS SHIT HONEY

Lauren Goodger is either really clever and has a fitness DVD in the works or she's just a fat mess who's more deluded than Madonna is about her career. The former TOWIE star was papped "working out" in clothing about 50 sizes too small and it really did look evil. To be honest we pity the poor onlookers who were trying to do their daily workout without bringing up their lunch. We just can't think of any men who would want to procreate with this mess.

[Image via FLYNET]

FASHION POLICE + KELLY OSBOURNE = JOKE

Okay so we have NEVER understood why Kelly Osbourne was hired by E! in the first place to be judge on their show Fashion Police cause well just look at it for a start. The daughter of drug addict Ozzy was seen attending several shows for London Fashion Week over the weekend and although the outfit here is kinds nice by her standards, the face just goes in the opposite direction as always. The problem with Kel is that she's a chubby indie girl at heart, but for some reason she keeps trying to hide it underneath cute outfits and sophisticated shit which blatantly isn't her. When you're born into one of the trashiest families in showbiz, have a mouth like a cesspit and comfort eat through life you just shouldn't be getting paid to judge others and what they wear #truth.

[Image via GETTY]

HAS THIS BITCH GONE AND GAINED WEIGHT?

It really pisses us off that all these lame ass fashion blogs and online showbiz sites diss the fuck out of a hot bitch who rocks up in a nasty dress to an awards show, but when mammoth Gabourey Sidibe shows up they all decide to be nice and fake. Please say you agree or even know what we're taking about cause if not you're an idiot too...vent over. Anyway the human version of Free Willy was papped walking the red carpet at the Golden Globes last night and while bitch looked kinda nice in the dress, she just looked like the ghetto version of Octomom. We love her as an actress and she's super cute but fuck does it need to lose a shit load of weight otherwise bitch gon' die. When your arms look more at home in a kebab shop action needs to be taken. Just sayin'.

[Image via GETTY]

WE CAN'T TELL WHO THE WOMAN IS PEOPLE...

Paz De La Huerta has always been a funny looking bird but now she's packed on about 300 pounds she's just a fugly hot mess. We've never been truly sure about what it is and at times we've doubted that it was born a woman with a face like that, but it would seem that someone does love her as she was snapped leaving a club in West Hollywood with her partner (we don't know what it is either) and the bitch looked happy as fuck. The dress is actually kinda nice but the body is ballooning and her face is just way too bloated. We all know that it's either down to overeating or drugs...allegedly.

[Image via SPLASH]

WE'RE NOT SURE IF SHE'S STILL PREGGERS?

Adele is one of those birds who scrubs up super well for awards shows, but in her downtime she can look rough as shit. The rich as fuck singer was snapped running errands in London with her new sprog and it look rough bless her. We get that she's tired and her tits are sore, but brush her hair and swap that KFC for salad once in a while love. At least she's wearing trainers but we still can't picture this working out.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

TIME TO GET YOUR JAW WIRED UP HONEY

Oh no honey as if you left your gaff looking like this again. Lauren Goodger just never seems to learn and you think after getting the boot from TOWIE for being too fat she'd learn, but the woman still continues to stuff her fat face. What's more embarrassing is that the bitch ain't even 6 months along or anything...she's just that fucking obese. Next time stay away from dresses made out of elastic cause nobody want to see those rank curves hugged love.

[Image via FLYNET]

PRECIOUS COULD LITERALLY EAT RUSSIA

Okay so we get that Gabourey Sidibe is a really good actress and she's got the whole cuteness appeal, but fuck does the bitch have nasty figure. The star was papped filming scenes for her latest stint on American Horror Story in New Orleans recently and it looked like she'd ballooned even more...we guess pigs can fly. Seriously though it's waaay unhealthy for her to be this fat and the woman ain't even got small ankles or anything...it's fucking huge everywhere. Please stop eating Gabby cause you're gonna put yourself in an early grave!

[Image via SPLASH]

DON'T TRY AND EAT THE MICROPHONE TOO

Kelly Clarkson has always had a good set of pipes, but for some reason the singer and former Idol winner can never seem to stabilize her weight. It seems she's either Free Willy or Nicole Richie and we don't get why it's so hard for some birds? The poor thing really needs a new stylist too cause the person behind all her recent outfits is clearly holding a grudge.

[Image via WENN]

MERCEDES WOULDA CHECKED THAT WEAVE

Oh honey as if you left your dance rehearsal without looking in the mirror! Poor old Amber Riley was snapped in LA the other and it looked like she'd finally started working up a sweat...talk about overdue. The actress sported some strange kinda stocking things and her trusty new money LV bag was by her side as usual (for the ghetto in her), but what was going on with that sweaty weave and horse mouth? We love you Mercedes but next time check yo'self in the mirror girl.

[Image via GSI]

LOOKS LIKE IT'S STILL EATING FOR TWO...

Seriously did Jessica Simpson go and eat her kids or something? The former singer and now food addict was snapped out to dinner in NYC recently (shocker) and boy did she look a world away from her Newlywed days. We literally don't know if she's pregnant or not cause it seemed like she was carrying a whole litter last time, but whatever she's got planned for the future we hope a diet's in the mix somewhere. Come on Jess don't you miss seeing your feet?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

LOOK IT'S THE MAD HATTER GONE WRONG!

How the fuck can Perez Hilton be judgmental when he looks like a fucking butters tranny? The bitchy queen was seen filming something for his crappy blog in LA the other day and calling it ugly would be a fuck off huge understatement. We just don't know what it is people? Even though it's lost 20 stone there's still button strain, moobs and belly rolls. This queen just makes our stomachs turn if we're honest.

[Image via PEREZ HILTON]

EARTHQUAKE OR IS MISCHA ON THE MOVE?

Who knew that Mischa Barton would leave The OC and become so fucking fat? While we'll always have a soft spot for Marissa and her fuck off razor sharp cheekbones (well not anymore), we seriously can't excuse her for sporting these nasty ass whale thighs. Also what the fuck did she think when she put on skinny jeans? We ain't feeling the silver metallic winkle pickers either honey so please just hire Rachel Zoe again and stop eating.

[Image via SPLASH]

DID MARISSA PISS OFF CHRIS BROWN TOO?

Oh how we used to love Mischa Barton and her anorexic amazingness...until she started eating and became a beached whale. The former OC actress was snapped at a charity dinner in London recently and it looked like she'd either smeared shit over her eyes (make-up budget) or fucked off Chris Brown who we know likes to treat women with respect. Either way bitch didn't get the warpaint right at all, but we're hoping she'll start to eat less cause we totes prefer her skinny. Just sayin'.

[Image via COCO PEREZ]

EVEN $3 BILLION CAN'T SAVE THIS THING...

Oprah Winfrey may have a ridiculous personal net worth, but the woman has NEVER been able to stay the same weight for more than a week. The media mogul was seen at the premiere of her new flick The Butler and the poor bitch looked like the obese version of Ru Paul. You'd think that with all that money she'd at least be able to buy a dress in the right size and hire a hair stylist who wasn't related to Stevie Wonder. We bet her heels are fucking screaming too!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

GOOD LORD YOU SURE AIN'T BEAUTIFUL!

Holy shit balls, Mimi is one hell of a yo-yo dieter that's for sure! Mariah Carey was snapped leaving a TV studio in NYC this past week and it looked totally different from her latest music video featuring fellow singer Miguel. Gone was the flowing shiny hair, hot body and skimpy outfits and in it's place was a frumpy fat average mom (we know we'll get hate for that but fuck it) with a bad 80s perm. We literally don't get how this bitch can go from looking so hot to a complete mess who needs to go back in the time machine.

[Image via X17]

VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

PIGS ARE DIGGIN' MAGALUF THIS YEAR...

At least it's half covered up right? Gemma Collins aka the walking walrus from Essex was papped on vacay with her fellow dumb ass buddies in the culture filled island of Magaluf and once again it looked like a stick of butter playing dress-up. The reality TV fatty was seen walking (yes walking) around her resort and according to a source people fell off their sun beds due to the mini earthquake-like sensation. Oh the embarrassment to cause such situations huh? We can't even imagine how sweaty this bitch's muff must of got from being abroad. Ya major fucking ew.

[Image via SPLASH]

YOUR BODY AIN'T ON FIRE GIRLFRIEND!

Alicia Keys recently kick started her world tour and boy oh boy can the stage feel it every night judging by the above snap. The hit maker who screams rather than sings was seen wearing sprayed on skinny jeans (great look when you're obese) and t-bar heels...huge no no! The top was okay but fucking weird and we never realized how much ass and hip this bitch packs. Just sayin'.

[Image via GSI]