DID ROSS GELLER WHITEN THIS BITCH'S TEETH?

What in the fuck does Stacey Solomon think she looks like cause it's sure as shit beyond our cultured brains? The former X Factor contestant was snapped walking the red carpet at some shitty magazine event in London and looked like an Oompa Loompa from Essex. On top of the toxic tan (notice the Xtina esque hands) and drag queen hair, she decided to top it off by whitening those already evil nashers that we've had the privilege of seeing since her debut. Just gome home honey, get under the sheets and eat ya feelings.

[Image via REX]

BITCH PLEASE DON'T TWERK, YOU AIN'T SEXY!

Someone needs to seriously give Miley Cyrus the memo that says she is plenty of things but sexy just ain't one of them. We'll give credit where it's due though cause bitch has got a nice little body on her, but besides that there ain't much else going on for the skank. The face on it is evil and coupled with those teeth she ain't got no fucking chance at finding true love. Please just put the tongue away, hang up the microphone and go work in a zoo cause that's where you belong.

[Image via GETTY]

YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A WRECKING BALL

Oh dear that ain't a good shot is it honey? Miley Cyrus was sporting one fuck off nasty hairdo the other day while on a classy cig break around LA and boy did the bitch look retarded. The singer wasn't really rocking the bowl cut well and looked more like a boy in drag than a pop star. We just don't see the fuss with this one cause not only is she butters but her voice is shit too. Just sayin'.

[Image via SPLASH]

HOW DOES THIS HAVE THE X FACTOR?

Oh fucking dear. We're guessing Stacey Solomon was on a quest to make herself look even uglier when she threw this horrendous ensemble together? Now we get that this is clearly some sort of rank Pantomime theme but we just ain't feeling it and the woman looks awful. The drag make-up, horse teeth and birds nest hair do her no favors and we gotta say it's embarrassing that she's supposed to be a singer yet doing this kinda shit to pay the bills.

[Image via WENN]

MILEY HONEY...YOU JUST AIN'T SEXY!

It totally escapes us as to why so many people think Miley Cyrus is hot cause all we see is a wannabe try hard with too many teeth trying to perform fellatio on a sledgehammer. The pop star can be seen in an outtake from her slutty video for Wrecking Ball and it's safe to say bitch looks like a chipmunk with an STD. We think Liam is totes better off without the skank.

[Image via RCA]

HORSES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN THIS

What the fuck has this bitch done to her face? Chloe Sims from that crazy culture filled show TOWIE was seen exiting a night club in Essex (shocker) and it looked truly horrendous for her age. The actual horse teeth and orange skin would make most people run in fear, but we just don't understand why she wanted to make herself this fugly? We pity the guys she gives head to cause it can't be pretty.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

MORE LIKE THE FUGLIEST HOUSEWIVES...

Oh dear, Vicki Gunvalson from OC Housewives recently got chin implants and it don't look good. The dumb bitch thought she'd try and make herself look more like a dude and it kinda worked cause it was seen rocking a Lurch esque jaw at a recent Bravo press event. The horse like veneers, balding spot and tranny lashes are making us gag, so bitch should just learn to stay in doors cause no one should have to look at that face.

[Image via WENN]

WHO KNEW BLACK BEAUTY LIVED IN HARLOW

Joey Essex is the definition of a waste of space and for any of you who have bothered to even watch that Emmy worthy show The Only Way Is Essex you'll see that he's a closet fag who thinks he's hot. The reality TV "star" was seen running errands around the shit hole that is Essex and it looked liked he'd broken out of his stable cause his nashers looked evil as fuck. As we all know he's definitely "straight" so we're assuming he just keeps hay to nibble on in that "man bag" of his. Oh and does anyone else think he's got birds living in that nest he calls hair?

[Image via MAGIC MOMENTS]

LET'S HOPE THIS THING DON'T COOK NAKED

We didn't know rats went jogging around London but apparently they're quite health conscious creatures. Okay so when we say rats we're obviously talking about the stunning Jools Oliver aka the one who sits at home and spends Jamie's hard earned cash. The bitch is often papped on her regular runs but it looked like an extra from Ratatouille the other day with those fuck off evil nashers on display. Just a thought but you might wanna get some work done on those honey. Just sayin'.

[Image via SPLASH]

PICKING UP THE PIECES...OF BROKEN MIRROR

Now for some reason ginga singer (she does try) Paloma Faith just fucks us off cause the bitch has got the kinda face that just puts us in a bad mood. We're guessing she already got the Google alert on herself and is reading this and if so please just stop trying to sing and go work with animals honey. Those fucking evil teeth and birds nest hair are making us gag and we're not sure if it's got a third tit or something, but that dress is either fifty sizes too small or bitch needs to be in the Guinness Book Of Records. Just sayin'.

[Image via XPOSURE]

GET THIS BITCH A RABBIT CAGE QUICKLY!

Fucking hell that Stacey Solomon is one EVIL looking bitch and we bet onlookers were offering it carrots when she was snapped shopping recently. The former X Factor contestent (downs bimbo) ain't really done much since leaving the show and with those teeth we're hardly surprised cause we bet every record label have ran off for fear of being eaten alive. You just can't save this look with any nice words cause she looks like a fucking munter.

[Image via MAGIC MOMENTS]

OOMPA LOOMPA'S ARE AFRICAN AMERICAN

For some reason Jennifer Hudson does NOT look right when she's not obese, and if we're honest (like we wouldn't be) being thinner makes her look fucking ugly. The former Idol and Oscar winner (get it bitch) was seen attending some crappy event in LA over the weekend and looked like an orange drag queen in a hooker weave. Out of everything, and there's a lot wrong here, we find the pronounced jawline and man hands quite creepy, but let's face it this girl ain't no looker and weight actually makes it look better. We bet Kirstie Alley is jealous about that.

[Image via SPLASH]

WE WONDER IF DANIEL'S EMBARRASSED?

For a second we thought we'd never hear about Natasha Bedingfield ever again, but fear not if you're a fan cause it made a surprise appearance at fashion week recently. The singer certainly raised a few eyebrows but shall we say for all the wrong reasons. The dress made her legs look like dumpy sausages and her head just looked fuck off massive and weird. We know it sounds like we're insecure cunts hiding behind our keyboard, but we can't resist saying it like it is. Granted it ain't the worst tool in the box, but she looks like a fucking tranny here.

[Image via GETTY]

MAYBE SHE'S GOT A NORWEGIAN TWIN?

Oh dear honey. Miley Cyrus was recently papped walking the streets of NYC and the poor thing looked so try hard it was almost laughable. The singer (if miming counts) seems to be favoring the grunge style of late, although bitch clearly didn't get the memo that if you're from Tennessee, it doesn't really work. The country bumpkin (hick that fucks her cousin) looked more like a trashy dyke from Norway than a teen pop sensation. To top it off, her boots just made her look like Coco The Clown on LSD. All we're thinking is what a dickhead.

[Image via SPLASH]

GET THIS THING A BALE OF HAY

Holy moly! Jennifer Hudson has got one fuck off pair of teeth on her ain't she? We wonder if it neigh's like a horse in the morning? Anyway the human version of Black Beauty (she wishes) was papped arriving at the airport and by the looks of the photo she almost swallowed the photographer. Also, we're not really getting why she still hasn't ditched that $2 hooker weave yet? Granted it's got a good voice, but she's not a looker the poor thing.

[Image via XPOSURE]

THE DEVIL WEARS FUR ENNIT

It took us a while to realize that it wasn't just the windy weather that was raping Anna Wintour, but she'd also been cream pied (not the dirty kind) by PETA protesters in Paris over the weekend. According to sources, the fur loving Vogue editor freaked out and yelled "No, too many calories!" as she wiped the Cool Whip off her face. The poor bitch looked like she'd been cummed on as she was snapped making a STUNNING facial expression. We really wanna chuck her a (fashionable) bale of hay to nosh on.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

ROYALLY INBRED BEAUTY

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson got lucky and was invited to join the other classy gals (slappers from Manchester) on TV show Loose Women this week. Besides the Chanel top (which she paid for with her dealer profits), her face looked PROPER fucked. We know she's recently had reconstructive surgery on her conk but it looked bulbous, lop-sided and purge worthy. Let's not forget the overall bad tranny look, those lovely horse teeth (courtesy of the Royal genes) and that cheap mobile phone. Not even got the new iPhone yet love?

[Image via GOFF]