YOU KNOW ANGELINA LOVES SEEING THIS

Poor old Jennifer Aniston is the girl that's always going to be pitied no matter what her net worth grows to. She's got the career (luck and timing at best) and the cute girl looks when she's made up, but one thing she ain't is a natural beauty people. On top of that it's gotta hurt your self esteem for life when you're man was tapping another woman's pussy behind your back and then left you for her...oh and it makes it all worse when the woman was Angelina Jolie. We'd love to be a fly on the wall when Jen & Ange are doing their weekly grocery shop...talk about about a soap opera.

[Image via GC/WARNER BROS]

SELFIES SHOULD DO YOU JUSTICE HONEY

We're not sure if Nicki Minaj understood that when you take selfies you're supposed to look hot and not like some ghetto bitch who looks like she'd give you a black eye for the last seat on the subway. Anyway the Starships singer apparently thought she looked fuckable enough cause lady posted the above snap on her Instagram account sans make-up and to be honest she looked rough as shit. At least she ditched the wig and has taken a more natural approach, but in a way we can kinda see why she shovels on so much slap #justsaying.

[Image via INSTAGRAM]

ROMEO WOULDN'T DIE FOR THIS NO MORE

You gotta admit that Claire Danes ain't looking too hot these days...especially when you compare her to the Romero + Juliet days. The actress was seen on a run around NYC yesterday and it looked rough, old and haggard to say the least. We also never realized how mannish and plain she was without the slap and we're writing this shit cause we think it's world news that everyone needs to see. We're of course lol'ing at that but in all seriousness if you take anything we say on this blog seriously then you're a fucktard.

[Image via FLYNET]

VOICE OF AN ANGEL OR AVERAGE FARM GIRL?

Charlotte Church used to be kinda pretty back in her successful pop career days, but fast forward not even 10 years and what you see could easily be mistaken for an average looking farm girl en route to mucking out the pig troughs. The pissy gold hair, bloated face and tree trunk thighs is not exactly what you'd call a former pop star so we're not sure what's going on here? We know it shat out a kid but that was a while ago now so to be honest there ain't no excuse for looking like a overweight hippy who doesn't shower.

[Image via WENN]

THIS SHIT TOTES MAKES US WANNA ROAR!

Another day another flattering pic of Katy Perry without make-up for us all. The singer (if you can even call it that) was papped getting her nails did in LA this week and boy did she look rough (and slightly special needs) sans slap. When this bird is made up don't get us wrong she looks nice, but she couldn't get anymore average when she puts the make-up brush down cause this is one Plain Jane right here. On top of that everyone knows her career is fluff and let's face it she ain't ever gonna win a Grammy cause the academy ain't deaf. Anyway rant over...happy weekend!

[Image via X17]

WE'RE NOT SURE IF SHE'S STILL PREGGERS?

Adele is one of those birds who scrubs up super well for awards shows, but in her downtime she can look rough as shit. The rich as fuck singer was snapped running errands in London with her new sprog and it look rough bless her. We get that she's tired and her tits are sore, but brush her hair and swap that KFC for salad once in a while love. At least she's wearing trainers but we still can't picture this working out.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

CARINE ROITFELD DEFINITELY NEEDS A RAISE!

Mila Kunis really is one of those birds that needs make-up cause without it she looks dog rough and that's being kind. The actress was the face of Dior accessories not so long ago and it seems stylist Carine Roitfeld has magical powers cause she turned her from a pig into a swan judging by the above snaps. It really is shocking that this is even the same person and just proves how much celebs rely on slap these days.

[Image via DIOR/PACIFIC COAST]

THE INSIDIOUS BRIDE WOULD BE SHOCKED

The Sizzling Mess is still finding it kinda hard to get over how rough and plain Rose Bryne looks minus the slap and this occasion was no exception! The actress was snapped having a quick coffee in LA over the weekend and looked virtually unrecognizable if you compare her to Helen from Bridesmaids! It's totes shocking and tbh we're just wondering how she landed such a hot fucking husband?

[Image via SPLASH]

GATSBY WON'T FUCK YOU LIKE THIS HONEY!

Oh dear this ain't a very good snap of Carey Mulligan is it people? The posh British actress was papped arriving at LAX with her Mumford & Sons hubby and bitch looked rough as shit. We had to do a second take at first cause we couldn't actually believe she was this plain minus the slap! What the hell would Leo say to this people?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

MAKE-UP ARTISTS ARE TOTES UNDERPAID!

So we're kinda being nice lately but Jennifer Aniston looked pretty fucking hot at the Berlin premiere of her new comedy (shocker) We're The Millers recently. The actress was snapped working the red carpet like a cunt, but we can't quite believe how she can go from this to looking like a butters tranny. Do you feel us people? Anyway bitch is almost 45 so she must be doing something right, but then again money does help dunnit?

[Image via EPA]

GUESS JEN REALLY NEEDS THE SLAP THEN!

We really don't know what's been going on with Jennifer Aniston and her fuck off bloated face and mannish appearance lately, but bitch finally looked hot the other day after 3 hours in the hair and make-up chair! The actress (laughable really) was seen en route to an interview in NYC the other day complete with her usual blown out mane and mini dress look and we definitely get why she sticks to this now cause it works like a cunt. Show off your pins, push up your tits, make sure your hair covers that strong jaw and pray your balls don't fall out girlfriend.

[Image via WIRE/FLYNET]

MORE LIKE JENNIFER MANISTON RIGHT GUYS?

Okay so we've never really understood the fascination with Jennifer Aniston cause let's face it; she's an average actress who got lucky at best and while she can sometimes look cute we've never been a fan of a woman with a strong jaw. The former FRIENDS star was seen filming a new movie in NYC over the weekend and sported a wig that made onlookers do a double take cause lady resembled a full on dude in drag. The only thing missing from this clownish look was a five o'clock shadow, but at least we know that Jen can't pull off every hairstyle out there. Did you clock her fuck off massive engagement ring too? Must be nice to have lots of money ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

HOW'S YOUR "CLOTHING LINE" GOING HONEY?

Now we've never seen the big deal with this bitch cause even though she's got a nice set of pins and we'd happily give her one, it really ain't all that underneath the cake mix. Whitney Port aka the boring slut from MTV's The City was papped getting a massage in LA recently and the poor thing looked rough as fuck. Aside from her usual down-syndrome eyes, it looked like she'd had a run-in with Chris Brown and we don't even know what's going on with the tongue. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid as to turn down advice from fellow reality star Olivia Palermo she'd look a lot better.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

THE ICA WOMAN LIKES TO EATA PASTA!

Who'd have thought that the sexy slut in Basic Instinct would one day look like a haggard old slapper hanging out with tacky has-been designer Roberto Cavalli? Sharon Stone that's who people! The actress (pushing it) was seen aboard the Cavalli yacht in Cannes recently and poor bitch looked like a gay bat in that leopard print concoction. We can tell that Cavalli's missus looked bored too and we're guessing she was thinking of what to put in the lasagne for that nights dinner.

[Image via XPOSURE]

GIVE YOUR MAKE-UP ARTIST A RAISE!

Katherine Heigl always looks DOG rough without the slap and this has been proven with multiple blog posts on the munter. While we have no real problem with her we just can't believe how fucking awful it looks au naturel. The actress was recently seen leaving her local gym and boy was it a scary sight...unrecognizable would be a fucking understatement. The poor thing looked like a malnourished coke whore with acne and not in the good Kate Moss way. Bad times for Kath ennit.

[Image via FLYNET]

PRINCESS FIONA AIN'T AGING TOO WELL FOLKS

Once again we're reminded that time is a CUNT because just look at what Mr. Gravity's done to poor Cameron Diaz. The once hot actress was seen running errands around LA the other day sans slap and it looked rough as arse holes to say the least. Gone is the stunning face and in it's place is a tired looking mug resembling your average Plain Jane. It makes us sad but money clearly can't buy everything.

[Image via NEW LINE/FLYNET]

HOW THIS WON AN OSCAR IS BEYOND US...

Don't get it twisted cause we love a bit of Anne Hathaway circa her Devil Wears Prada days, but lately bitch has just got boring and on top of that it looks like a boy with a pussy now. The skinny actress could have been mistaken for a paper boy whilst walking the streets of Brooklyn the other day and we've never noticed how big it's ears and nose are. Like we said we dig a few of her movies, but at the end of the day she's just a Plain Jane who was in the right place at the right time.

[Image via EAGLE]

GERMAN BITCHES SCRUB UP PRETTY WELL

Diane Kruger like many other German imports always look boner inducingly hot when they're covered in slap, but when it's all peeled off they make even Mila Kunis look naturally pretty. The actress (erm what's she done) was papped grabbing coffee in LA over the weekend and it looked so dog rough that apparently several paps had to get that camera lenses replaced. Also it ain't the war anymore love so get a good meal down ya cause we could literally drive through those rank legs.

[Image via FLYNET]

AGE JUST AIN'T BEEN KIND TO PRINCESS FIONA

Oh dear sweetie this one was taken from a "bad angle" for sure right. Cameron Diaz was seen out to dinner in LA over the weekend and we literally can't believe this is the same girl who gave every guy boners in The Mask cause bitch is looking seriously haggard these days. The actress has got some serious jowls going on and we never realized how plain it was minus all the slap, but hopefully she'll be good for a few movies before she throws in the towel.

[Image via WENN]

CALIFORNIA GURLS SHOULD BE OFFENDED

What makes us laugh about Katy Perry is that her image is all about fun and being glamorous, but in reality she's a plain dog with thunder thighs and rank skin. The tone deaf "singer" was snapped on vacay in Hawaii with her latest and 6th boyfriend John Mayer since her infamous divorce from twat Russell Brand. Anyway we just wanted y'all to see what a fucking mess it is minus the old warpaint.

[Image via SPLASH]