WE LOVE A WOMAN WITH AN ANKLE TATTOO

Angela Raiola aka Big Ang seems to get uglier by the minute cause judging from the latest pics of her sunning her massive tits on the beach in Florida she's got even more scary. The big lipped and full chested Italian reality star is mainly known for getting drunk, sucking cock and saying outrageous shit...but this is of course why we love her. You've gotta love a legend even when they're cheap as fuck and sport tattoos above their pussies.

[Image via SPLASH]

PICKING UP THE PIECES...OF BROKEN MIRROR

Holy shit balls peeps! Paloma Faith was looking fucking dog rough the other day whilst out on a run in Hyde Park and according to sources passers by were gagging cause bitch looked so fugly. Overall it's a bit annoying and he tunes are mediocre at best, but boy does the poor woman look like the back end of a bus without slap. The singer is known for her glam retro appearance and now we get why she cakes on so much shit.

[Image via GETTY]

MOTHERHOOD IS TREATING YOU WELL #LYING

Oh honey why've you let yourself turn into such a mess? We know Adele shat out a baby in the last year or whatever but it looks like she's still eating for 2 judging by the snap above. The singer was papped walking round London sans baby and looked rather special if you catch our drift. Maybe she'd recently had some dental work done cause her lips looked a little dodgy to say the least. We're not sure what she does these days besides eat and spend her royalties (rich bitch), but we hope some new music is in the works.

[Image via VANTAGE]

ROMEO WOULDN'T DIE FOR THIS NO MORE

You gotta admit that Claire Danes ain't looking too hot these days...especially when you compare her to the Romero + Juliet days. The actress was seen on a run around NYC yesterday and it looked rough, old and haggard to say the least. We also never realized how mannish and plain she was without the slap and we're writing this shit cause we think it's world news that everyone needs to see. We're of course lol'ing at that but in all seriousness if you take anything we say on this blog seriously then you're a fucktard.

[Image via FLYNET]

MEG EVEN POSES LIKE A FRICKIN' DOG!

We still don't understand why Ashton cheated on Demi with this Jewish thing? Now we ain't got nothing against Jews, we simply use the term for effect but fuck Mila Kunis is one rough dog. The voice of stunner Meg Griffin was seen out with her stolen goods (boyfriend) and some random dog who by chance happened to be making the same facial expression as her. Still don't think the bitch is a dog or a husband stealer?

[Image via AKM-GSI]

CARINE ROITFELD DEFINITELY NEEDS A RAISE!

Mila Kunis really is one of those birds that needs make-up cause without it she looks dog rough and that's being kind. The actress was the face of Dior accessories not so long ago and it seems stylist Carine Roitfeld has magical powers cause she turned her from a pig into a swan judging by the above snaps. It really is shocking that this is even the same person and just proves how much celebs rely on slap these days.

[Image via DIOR/PACIFIC COAST]

PRECIOUS COULD LITERALLY EAT RUSSIA

Okay so we get that Gabourey Sidibe is a really good actress and she's got the whole cuteness appeal, but fuck does the bitch have nasty figure. The star was papped filming scenes for her latest stint on American Horror Story in New Orleans recently and it looked like she'd ballooned even more...we guess pigs can fly. Seriously though it's waaay unhealthy for her to be this fat and the woman ain't even got small ankles or anything...it's fucking huge everywhere. Please stop eating Gabby cause you're gonna put yourself in an early grave!

[Image via SPLASH]

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?

Nice teeth honey! This definitely gives dog a new meaning cause Jade Goody's mother Jackiey Budden was papped looking rough as pure shite recently. Jesus do you all remember when Jade paid for her mom to have a makeover? Nice to know she took it seriously huh! Good old Jackiey was back to her rough dyke self when she went shopping the other day, but this seriously takes fugly to another level. Like don't even bother leaving your house when you look like this cause you've gone and offended us bitch. It's the kind of "woman" who's proud of glassing another bird outside her local for shagging her fella. Urgh we can't deal with this amount of common.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

LOOKS LIKE IT'S STILL EATING FOR TWO...

Seriously did Jessica Simpson go and eat her kids or something? The former singer and now food addict was snapped out to dinner in NYC recently (shocker) and boy did she look a world away from her Newlywed days. We literally don't know if she's pregnant or not cause it seemed like she was carrying a whole litter last time, but whatever she's got planned for the future we hope a diet's in the mix somewhere. Come on Jess don't you miss seeing your feet?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING?

Carol McGiffin is one fucking ugly bird and we don't give a shit if that's offensive cause our faces are offended from having to see her mug on the box. The rough TV host is currently on Celebrity Big Brother and as usual she's looking like her dog rough slapper self. Seriously though we don't even know what it is and we're being serious.

[Image via REX]

GATSBY WON'T FUCK YOU LIKE THIS HONEY!

Oh dear this ain't a very good snap of Carey Mulligan is it people? The posh British actress was papped arriving at LAX with her Mumford & Sons hubby and bitch looked rough as shit. We had to do a second take at first cause we couldn't actually believe she was this plain minus the slap! What the hell would Leo say to this people?

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

MORE LIKE DYKE UP YOUR LIFE!

It's kinda shocking that we've never featured Mel C on The Sizzling Mess before, but when we clapped eyes on the above snap of her jogging around London recently her luck ran out. What the fuck is it wearing for a start and we know you're only running love but did you need to dress like a butters dyke who's partially sighted? We're not really sure what she does anymore but she could totes do with some ProActiv too.

[Image via INF]

EVEN AGING HOT GUYS AREN'T SAFE...

What the fuck happened to Nick Stokes guys? Okay we totes get that he's not a real person but the actor, George Eads, has full on let himself go in recent episodes of hit TV show CSI. Even during one of his many postmortems we used to get TV screen envy, but lately we don't know what it is to be honest. The serial killer haircut, bloated facial features and puffy eyes ain't making us wanna blow him anytime soon. Such a shame when you look at the left pic too...we owe our thanks once again to a couple of cunts called time and gravity.

[Image via WIRE/CBS]

EVEN $3 BILLION CAN'T SAVE THIS THING...

Oprah Winfrey may have a ridiculous personal net worth, but the woman has NEVER been able to stay the same weight for more than a week. The media mogul was seen at the premiere of her new flick The Butler and the poor bitch looked like the obese version of Ru Paul. You'd think that with all that money she'd at least be able to buy a dress in the right size and hire a hair stylist who wasn't related to Stevie Wonder. We bet her heels are fucking screaming too!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT TRYING TO BE NOW?

So we know this thing has become kinda irrelevant, but when we saw the pic of the bitch we couldn't not share. Lady GaGa was recently snapped at some boring looking charity event in NYC and looked like an eco friendly dyke complete with a pig nose ring and classy bleached eyebrows. We've never really been sure what it is, but we wouldn't be surprised if she hid a fuck off sausage between her legs.

[Image via GETTY]

PATSY WOULD'VE HAD SOME WORK DONE...

This is quite hard for us to write cause we do love a bit of Joanna Lumley cause she's got that slight Meryl Streep legend edge, but fucking hell the bitch was looking rough recently whilst filming a new movie in NYC. The actress was papped with curlers in her hair and a full face of slap, but that did little to disguise her inch deep wrinkles and nasty yellow teeth which were practically screaming to be whitened. Whatever though cause we still love her but it'd be nice if actual talent would try and preserve their looks ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

WOULD MONICA STILL WANNA MARRY THIS?

Chandler what the fuck happened? Matthew Perry from TV show FRIENDS was seen on vacay with his bird recently and boy did he look different. He was never super hot or anything but boy he certainly looked old and rough whilst waiting to see if a jet ski could hold his mammoth weight. Get on the dermal fillers like Courteney Cox and you'll better in no time.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

THIS SHIT HAS TOTES GIVEN US THE FEAR!

It's no one wonder Lily Allen's career has gone down the toilet, cause it looks like the bitch has fucking eaten it along with tons of other shit. The crappy singer was papped walking (struggling too bless her) at the recent Glastonbury festival and we reckon she'd have faired better in a wheelchair. We know she's always been a bit on the porky side and had dumpy legs, but she clearly took "eating for two" way too literally. Don't fool us with those shoes either cause the only running you do is to the fridge and back.

[Image via BARCROFT]

AIN'T THIS BITCH THE EPITOME OF CLASS?

The world knows the above woman simply as "tanning mom" aka Patricia Krentcil, however all we see is a tired old slapper who sucks cock to pay the lecky bill. We don't even get how this skank gets invited to events, but lady put on her best clobber (cheap shite) and worked the red carpet looking like the corpse version of Pam Anderson with the clap. Didn't she think to look in the mirror before she leaves her gaff too? Body-con dresses just don't work when you've got saggy tits and a muffin top and we gotta say that ankle tatt finishes off this look to perfection. Wouldn't you be proud if this was your mom?

[Image via GETTY]

EVEN VAMPIRES CAN'T ESCAPE AGING...

You know there's no God when even the beloved Spike from Buffy ages so badly he looks like a coke addict living in welfare. James Marsters has struggled to find a job since leaving the popular TV show, but was recently snapped at his local market in LA and let's just say he's looked better. Word on the street is that he was left so embarrassed when he was unable to pay for his goods (due to maybe an expensive addiction) that he offered to act out a scene from Buffy as a method of payment. That was of course a complete lie, but didn't it give you a fun image?

Image via WARNER BROS/FLYNET]