HEARING MY BONES CLICK MAKES ME HAPPY!

You know that Alexa Chung is just a fame hungry half Chinese chick who loves king prawn fried rice but won't ever eat the fucker. The former T4 presenter (she wants people to forget about that) was snapped having a crafty fag after yet another day of starvation on the streets of Brooklyn and boy did the bitch look ill. It must be so tiresome being such a trendsetting NYC hipster, so we're guessing she just doesn't have time to eat? Oh and FYI Alexa, you're from Hampshire or somewhere in China so it doesn't really work love. Either cover up those rank legs or just admit you know how many calories are in toothpaste cause everyone knows you're fat inside. Oh and if there's an annoying PC person reading this, we ain't racist cause we had a Chinese last night.

[Image via X17]

HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT MARRIED MEN?

Another day another husband to steal is a good motto to live by according to singer Leanne Rimes, but the other day she took a break from riding cock and decided to get a work out in after the holidays. If you ask us she really needed it cause her thighs were looking a lot heftier after having a whole can of tuna for Christmas diner...greedy bitch. Anyway we just thought she looked like a baby pig straining for a shit minus the slap and as always we love to share world news like this. Enjoy!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WHO IS THIS BITCH TRYING TO KID?

Oh ain't Alexa Chung just the picture of health! Now the only thing that pisses us off more than a wannabe fashion icon, is one who actually believes they're relevant. The triple size zero "model" (dickhead) was papped walking the streets of NYC recently with what appeared to be a packet of Cheetos and a can of Coke in her hand. Erm sorry but is this bitch having a laugh? If it's weight is anything to go by then the only coke this thing has seen is the type that you keep on a CD case. Oh and holding a packet of chips is like calling us all fucking idiots. Did we mention that we're not really a fan?

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

HOW DOES THIS DESIGN WEDDING DRESSES?

Vera Wang always seems to look dog rough so it was no surprise when she was recently papped at a charity event in NYC looking like a malnourished Asian toddler. The "rolling in it" designer (The Grudge extra) who rode on the coat tails of her billionaire oil tycoon father has certainly inherited some fugly ass looks and those legs are just making us hurl. We don't know why but for some reason she just pisses us off and we wouldn't be shocked if she had some soy in her pocket cause let's face it that's all this bitch is living on.

[Image via WIRE]

WHAT DOES THIS DO FOR A LIVING?

Bet ya didn't think you'd be on this blog again did ya love? Alexa Chung aka the anorexic waste of space was snapped walking (amazing she's got the energy) around NYC recently and she looked like a white Ethiopian. If you're an avid reader of The Sizzling Mess you'll remember the only other post we've done on this joke of a being and it proves that this bitch sure as hell AIN'T naturally skinny. Let's be honest, she'd literally break her legs and pelvic bone if she fell over.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST NEWS]