DID MISCHA EAT MARISSA OR SOMETHING?

Okay seriously Mischa Barton what the fuck happened to you? The actress who was once known for playing regulation hottie Marissa Cooper in The OC was seen grabbing lunch in LA the other day and she's totes piled on the pounds. Even her poor dog looked on with an expression of disgust as she clutched at her burger and Starbucks drink. You need to ditch the junk food, hire a trainer and stop eating cause otherwise you're headed for Kirstie Alley territory.

[Image via X17]

MONICA GELLER IS JUST A DISTANT MEMORY...

It makes us kinda said that Courteney Cox feels the need to do all this shit to her face cause she used to be so pretty. The former star of hit TV show Friends posted a pic to her Instagram account of her filming a new movie, so while that hair is most likely a wig those lips are very much hers (or not). It's like she's just been told her entire family died in an airplane crash and this is her expression of sadness. The frozen dead eyes and puffy fish lips are just awful and you'd think her "natural is the way" BFF Jennifer Aniston would at least say something.

[Image via INSTAGRAM]

WHAT WORLD ARE YOU LIVING IN MARIAH?

Okay so it's well known that Mariah Carey always employs a body double or just airbrushes herself to shit on her album covers but this one takes the fucking cake. Everything about her body on the left has been digitally altered and then on the evening that this photo was released she was dumb enough to wear a skin tight black dress to her album launch party which of course revealed the truth. Mariah has always been a foodie and we're guessing that getting into that black dress was like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. The poor woman needs to realize that she's a big bird and just live with it or she should just starve herself like Xtina.

[Image via DEF JAM/SPLASH]

THIS IS THE FUTURE OF LINDSAY LOHAN TOO...

Seriously WTF is going on with Tara Reid in general? Her career has been on a downward spiral since American Pie and her weight is always going up and down although more down of late. The mediocre actress was papped walking around LA the other day and the bitch looked skeletal to say the least. With the exception of the air bags in her chest she pretty much looked like a fake skeleton stolen from a high school and then put in a trashy LA outfit. We hope she gains weight before she dies and she really needs to fix the gold color of her hair too cause it's rank. Oh dear... it's pretty evident that these celebs need us in their lives.

[Image via WENN]

HOW IS THIS BITCH STILL ALIVE...FOR REAL?

We genuinely don't understand how Gabourey Sidibe both continues to walk the earth and also breathe in general? The actress isn't just huge she's mammoth and must live in multiple zip codes due to her larger than life frame. While we liked her in Precious and AHS Coven there ain't no denying that this bitch is one epic walrus. Surely her heart is crying on a daily basis and her toilet must literally hate her and sweat in fear after every meal she ingests.

[Image via GETTY]

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THIS SHIT HONEY

Lauren Goodger is either really clever and has a fitness DVD in the works or she's just a fat mess who's more deluded than Madonna is about her career. The former TOWIE star was papped "working out" in clothing about 50 sizes too small and it really did look evil. To be honest we pity the poor onlookers who were trying to do their daily workout without bringing up their lunch. We just can't think of any men who would want to procreate with this mess.

[Image via FLYNET]

FILL IN THE BLANK FOR A GHETTO MESS...

After I stuck my hairline down with superglue I thought DAYUM I look so _____________________ I'm gon' leave the house looking like this.

[Image via GOOGLE]

PIGS CAN'T FLY...THEY CAN SWIM APPARENTLY

Oh man what does this bitch see when she looks in the mirror! Gemma Collins once again decided to buy a bikini that was 10 sizes too small and wear it on the beach in Dubai recently...she knows exactly what gets our hearts racing and stomachs churning. Seriously though y'all what the fuck is the woman thinking when she parades her lard ass body around looking like this? We're all for inner confidence but when you've got a second cleavage and are losing thing in your rolls of fat it's time to make a change. We're pretty sure the poor fuckers who saw this walrus are now in therapy or on a major diet.

[Image via SPLASH]

SURELY YOU CAN GET THESE FIXED OPRAH?

Now it's the first time we've ever featured a foot and not a face, but you won't believe who these rank feet belong to. Oprah Winfrey seems to be one of the more extreme cases where celebrity bunions are concerned and when we found this shit we literally couldn't stop gagging. The rich bitch wasn't just sporting a little bunion, but she was rocking 2 fuck off massive bastards and it looked painful to even walk. How the hell did her feet get in this state is what we wanna know? Please use your billions for a good cause and get these evil looking things removed you tight bitch.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]