CADY HERON ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE?

We genuinely miss the days when Lindsay Lohan didn't look like an alcoholic housewife from Orange County cause we just don't recognize the woman above. The actress was snapped attending some shitty fashion show in China a while back and boy did she look rough. The usual bloated face and trout pout lips made an appearance and we're not sure what's going on with the front part of her hair cause it looks like straw. Poor old LiLo needs to look in the mirror cause for 27 she looks weird and haggard.

[Image via REX]

HAPPY HOUR IS FROM FOUR TO SIX!

You all surely remember Mrs George aka Regina's drunk as fuck mom in Mean Girls? Well fast forward almost 10 years (yes you're getting fucking old) and this is what it's become. Amy Poehler was snapped shopping for food (not alcohol) and it looked like it'd gone up by at least 3 dress sizes which is such a shame cause being skinny really does equal happiness in life. The glasses look more like a comedy gab, but they are in fact worn for improving her vision. We say go back to being bulimic and wearing Juicy Couture velour tracksuits cause it's so LA chic a la 2004.

[Image via PARAMOUNT/SPLASH]

OOMPA LOOMPAS HAVE MONEY TROUBLES TOO

Oh honey just no, no, no. Lindsay Lohan and her train wreck of a "mother" were papped strolling through LAX airport looking like the ugly sisters the other day and boy were they a sight. We literally cannot believe that this bitch left her house wearing such a horrendous outfit and did we forget to mention that she's become an Oompa Loompa now? The only good thing about this look is the fact that she left her fucking hair natural, but besides that the bitch looks a fucking state and don't deserve any film roles.

[Image via XPOSURE]

NO ONE WANTS TO EAT YOUR PUSSY NOW

Oh honey, such a bad one for you but such a great one for us! Tara Reid aka the down and out hot mess of an "actress" was seen in LA earlier this week and boy oh boy it looked rough as fuck. For some reason and despite this lovely article we've always had a little soft spot for Tara, but when we saw this shit we knew it just couldn't fly cause the bitch literally looked like a drowned rat that'd been passed around and fucked. Have you ever noticed that some women just look used like they're vessels waiting to be filled? Go and get a blow out and lay off the partying honey.

[Image via AKM-GSI]

SKINNY GIRLS DON'T ALWAYS HAVE IT ALL

Yeah we get that this is like the mother of all photos but Bethenny Frankel ain't never been a looker and y'all know it. The former star of NYC Housewives was seen walking the streets of Brooklyn the other day and we think even the wind dodged this shit. It's always looked like a tranny with a Lurch esque jawline if you ask us, and even though it's rich now this just proves that money can't make you look like a woman. Good luck with your divorce though girl!

[Image via INF]

EVEN MAKE-UP DOESN'T SAVE THE BITCH

Just when you think Lindsay Lohan can maybe pull it together and look good for the premiere of her new TV movie (embarrassing) Liz & Dick she turns up looking like a big ass hot mess. The actress (debatable) was snapped arriving at the airport in LA looking like a bloated alcoholic and didn't look much better a few hours later when walking the red carpet. The bloated face, fish lips and hooker dress just did nothing for her and once again we'd love to know what the fuck the stylist was thinking? Well if she can even afford one.

[Image via SPLASH/GETTY]

LILO WAS LOOKING SO GOOD TOO...

It looks like Lindsay Lohan is back to her old ways of looking like a big old mess, as the actress (pushing it) was snapped having a sneaky fag whilst chilling with friends in LA recently. What we can commend here is the hair cause it looks a hell of a lot better than that blonde mess it was sporting for way too long, but how can we excuse the double chin and droopy tits? Oh and is that a classy back tattoo we can see? The poor thing's just a state and for 25 years old she looks fucking horrendous. We want Cady Heron back!

[Image via SPLASH]

LILO IS LOOKING SHIT HOT

Ooo fuck us hard. Lindsay Lohan showed up at the Washington Correspondents' Association Dinner recently and looked fucking amaze balls! We're so happy this bitch has ditched the trashy blonde locks and traded them in for her natural ginga roots. Whoever is telling her that she needs to actually take a shower before events needs a raise too. Keep it up LiLo!

[Image via GETTY]

LOOSE WOMAN AND CRAP ACTRESS

Classic beauty Denise Welch was pictured out to dinner in Skegness last night looking like a fuckin' panto reject. The chat show host (alcoholic) took a break from her Loose Women duties to treat herself and her toy boy to dinner at Wetherspoons, and we think she may have forgotten that Halloween was almost a month ago. She looked like a slapper from the north in drag, but we hear that money is tight these days for Denise so at least she made an effort. Still a dog though.

[Image via FLYNET]