GOOD LORD YOU SURE AIN'T BEAUTIFUL!

Holy shit balls, Mimi is one hell of a yo-yo dieter that's for sure! Mariah Carey was snapped leaving a TV studio in NYC this past week and it looked totally different from her latest music video featuring fellow singer Miguel. Gone was the flowing shiny hair, hot body and skimpy outfits and in it's place was a frumpy fat average mom (we know we'll get hate for that but fuck it) with a bad 80s perm. We literally don't get how this bitch can go from looking so hot to a complete mess who needs to go back in the time machine.

[Image via X17]

WHAT THE FUCK DID JUDE SEE IN THIS MESS?

It's kinda hard to believe that in her early days Sadie Frost was a model who earned thousands per day cause just the other day it stepped out and looked like a dog that'd been raped and cummed on to say the least. The gold diggin' slapper was papped at the launch for some new shitty kitchen range she'd designed and the poor bitch looked like a tired drag queen. We really can't imagine Jude giving this bitch one cause let's face it, she's plain as fuck and looks rough as arse holes. Granted she's probably a great mother to all her kids (who have different fathers) but pretty woman she ain't.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WHY THE FUCK DOES KIMMY WEAR WIGS?

Holy shit is what we thought when we first clapped eyes on this pic of Kim Zolciak. Now we ain't her biggest fan cause let's face it; she's a trashy and talentless hick who looks like a drag queen. That is until she ditched the fake tan, wigs and clown make-up, cause judging by her latest Twitter snap lady is looking mighty fine. Now we know it totally goes against the rules of The Sizzling Mess to be nice to celebs (even to Xtina), but there ain't no denying that Kim looks pretty stunning in the right pic, albeit in the Anna Nicole Smith (non-corpse) porn star kinda way. Still though bitch looks beautiful and should keep it au naturel by rockin' her own fabulous hair more often. Remember that less is always more honey!

[Image via SPLASH/TWITTER]

SHE WAS BORN TO MAKE Y'ALL CRINGE!

Uh huh, we're thinking the same thing as you guys. How did Britney Spears fall from grace and become such a fucking hot mess? Now that Xtina is getting her weight issues together it seems Britters has once again fallen off the diet wagon and while it ain't fat she sure as hell ain't as hot compared to her early days. The pop star was snapped rehearsing an upcoming special performance to promote the new Smurfs 2 movie which she recorded a shit song for and her outfit was tacky as fuck. Can someone please tell us why the stylist thought it would be a good idea to put her her in a bra, denim mini-skirt and white patent leather boots? This look just screams cheap hooker and lady is too old and chubby to pull it off anymore.

[Image via TMZ]

WHEN HARRY MET A VERY BOTOXED SALLY

Oh honey what have you done to your face? Meg Ryan was never the biggest looker and we've always thought she kinda looked like the Joker from Batman with a pussy, but when the actress was papped recently at a film festival in Italy she looked like a human fucking candle. The clown smile, trout pout, puffy cheeks and waxy appearance ain't a good look and this bitch either needs to tone it down or change her surgeon cause they're not worth the money. What the fuck would Harry say if he saw this shit?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

UGLY CHICKS LIVE ON STARSHIPS

Nicki Minaj probably uploaded the above snap to her Twitter thinking she looked like hot shit, but in reality it just further highlighted how much of an ugly chick she is. The ghetto skank rapper appeared to be trying on wedding dresses a' la cheap style, but who the hell would put a ring on this shit? We don't mind a few of her tunes and these fake ass titties, but she looks more like a malnourished Malaysian boy playing dress up than a superstar. Wonder if she's packin' under that fuck off wig too?

[Image via TWITTER]

SHANNEN DEF NEEDS THE BOOK OF SHADOWS

We gotta admit that Prue was our favorite witch on Charmed back in the day, but we kinda imagined that she would've aged a little better than this shit. Shannen Doherty who used to portray the witch with bitch attitude was seen at a recent event in LA and lady has aged so badly it makes us sad. Everything from the 80s barnet to the deep crows feet look horrendous, but more importantly what's going on with her nasty horse teeth? Screw personal gain, we think an age reversal spell is needed here.

[Image via WIRE]

WE JUST WANNA FEEL THIS WEIGHT MOMENT!

Praise the Lord! The current Christina Aguilera weight loss crush continues people and lady is looking even better than ever. While it's not back to her skinny Burlesque days, she's definitely shed the pounds off those evil thighs and that ass is looking a little trimmer too. Only thing that looks odd is how far down her tits are in comparison to her overall body and how big is that bra? Melons much Xtina!

[Image via NBC]

MAYBE SYLVESTER WAS A TRAVELLER?

Oh dear honey. Jackie Stallone has long been a fan of the surgeon's knife, but bitch has taken it way too far if the above snap is anything to go by. Even though Rocky's mom is 91 years old, she looks more like a dirty gypsy corpse than a human being if you ask us. What's up with that nasty scouse brow and where have her fucking eyes gone?

[Image via COLEMAN RAYNER]

WHO KNEW THIS BITCH COULD GET LOWER?

Just when ya thought that Katie Price had stooped to her lowest to shift copies of yet another shite book, the skank ho bitch put on some panto clobber with her new gold diggin' fuck buddy at her latest launch and the woman looked a fucking mess. What we'd love to know is who buys the shit she keeps putting out? Surely anyone that can actually read above 3 year old level doesn't care about this slut?

[Image via REX FEATURES]

WE CAN'T STOP...HATIN' ON THIS FOLLOWER

For some reason we've never liked Miley Cyrus cause she looks like a cunt who'd deck you in the school cafeteria for giving her the wrong look. Anyway the singer who achieved fame through her hick daddy was snapped working the red carpet at a promo event for her new album in LA recently and the woman looked a fool. The hair was all wrong and does she think she's black now with that grill? Someone needs to tell the bitch that the rock chick look she's sporting doesn't work when you're from a family who plucks chickens for dinner. We can't tell whether she's a young star in Hollywood or a dyke from Norway who owns a tattoo parlor, but what we do know is that it's trying way too hard and looks lame.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

THE POOR KID DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE

No we don't mean that cause Cynthia Nixon likes to munch on carpet, but because of the way the bitch looks. Don't get it twisted cause we love us some Miranda but lately the actress has totally let herself go and is often seen wandering the streets of NYC looking a total dyke mess. On this occasion however she left her Home Depot overalls in the closet and threw on a dress and some wedges (the horror) and she didn't look all that bad. The poor bitch did look dog rough though as she pushed her carrot top kid around in a stroller whilst shopping for a new drill. We miss the androgynous wardrobe Miranda used to sport!

[Image via REX FEATURES]

VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

YOU KNOW JUDY CRIED WHEN THIS CAME OUT

To this day we still don't get why Liza Minnelli is considered a legend (or fag icon) cause the bitch can't hold a note to save her fucking life. The overpaid fag hag was papped at the Tony Awards (shocker) in NYC recently and it looked like a gay Bilbo Baggins covered in glitter. The old broad seemed to have had more plastic surgery since the last time we saw her too, but we don't get why she'd make her already fucked up face look worse?

[Image via WENN]

HOW'S YOUR "CLOTHING LINE" GOING HONEY?

Now we've never seen the big deal with this bitch cause even though she's got a nice set of pins and we'd happily give her one, it really ain't all that underneath the cake mix. Whitney Port aka the boring slut from MTV's The City was papped getting a massage in LA recently and the poor thing looked rough as fuck. Aside from her usual down-syndrome eyes, it looked like she'd had a run-in with Chris Brown and we don't even know what's going on with the tongue. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid as to turn down advice from fellow reality star Olivia Palermo she'd look a lot better.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

LEAVE THIS ONE OUT THE PICK N MIX PLEASE

Jesy Nelson from that totally shit band Little Mix (twats) really ain't a looker is she? The former X Factor contestant was papped leaving her gaff in London and it looked a total lesbo mess. It seems this bitch can't do anything cause no matter what she wears it looks like she eats pussy and not in the cool Madonna way. On this occasion she left her tool belt at home and sported knee high socks (vom on these chipolata thighs), a perm even Mariah would've judged and no pants. That's right, she thinks she's hot enough to go without pants but her mirror is def talking shit behind her back.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

SPONGE BOB WAS ALWAYS A DIRTY GAY

We gotta admit that Tom Daley is TOTES one of our many illegal crushes (we feel like pedos) and it seems even Sponge Bob can't keep his animated hands (and tongue) off his hot torso. What we wouldn't give to be the pool this thing dives in...preferably minus the Speedos.

[Image via NICKELODEON/GETTY]

WHEN IS THIS BITCH GONNA STAY INDOORS?

Poor old Natalie Cassidy never learns that whenever she steps out people are gonna hate on that mug. The broke actress was papped on a run (no joke) around London the other day and it looked rough as arse holes while pacing the pavement. Sporting her usual downs appearance complete with no make-up and rank Scouse brows it looked a right mess. We can't wait for the follow up fitness DVD cause it'll be a right laugh.

[Image via DRAPER]

THE ICA WOMAN LIKES TO EATA PASTA!

Who'd have thought that the sexy slut in Basic Instinct would one day look like a haggard old slapper hanging out with tacky has-been designer Roberto Cavalli? Sharon Stone that's who people! The actress (pushing it) was seen aboard the Cavalli yacht in Cannes recently and poor bitch looked like a gay bat in that leopard print concoction. We can tell that Cavalli's missus looked bored too and we're guessing she was thinking of what to put in the lasagne for that nights dinner.

[Image via XPOSURE]

HOW IS GOD REAL IF THIS SHIT HAPPENS?

Do y'all remember watching Tarzan and paying more attention to Brendan Fraser's rock hard abs (bulge) than the shit storyline? Well fast forward almost 15 years and this is what it's become...chubby, pasty and oh so NOT hot. Such a shame when hoy guys let go of themselves cause how else are they going to gain respect in the world without their killer looks? Anyhow aside from the thinning hair, muggs (man juggs), beer belly and Muppet-like face, we'll give him credit for at least covering up cause  that torso without coverage would be a sight for sore eyes. Oh and is it just us or does he look like he enjoys gay kiddy porn?

[Image via WARNER BROS/WENN]