MR GRAVITY EVEN HATES ON 60'S ICONS!

Twiggy used to be known for her waif like figure and big eyed appearance, but fast forward 40 ish years and you can see that we do in fact live in a cruel world. The former model was seen running errands around London and although we know she's not 20 anymore the woman looked rough. At least brush your hair and lift the chin up when you know there's paps around.

[Image via GETTY/FLYNET]

VICKY TOTES PAID THIS TO STAND BEHIND HER

We do love a good shot of a celeb with a retard fan in awe and this one is a fucking cracker. Victoria Beckham aka Vicky B was papped at the recent Glamor Awards collecting her gong for best designer or some shit (such a joke) and the poor mong behind her wasn't quite as camera ready. To be honest if you look closely it just goes to show that obesity is becoming quite the norm amongst young girls in the UK. Don't they get that if they wanna be happy in life they need to be a size 8 and below? Oh we do love the thing on the left though, but it's pretty clear that she ain't had any...ever.

[Image via BROAD]

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS DEAD ALREADY...

Oh dear. What the fuck does Donatella Versace think she looks like? The fashion designer bowed graciously after her latest show in Milan and looked more like a liver sausage in a wig than a woman. We get that she's got a good body for like 105 years old, but still that face would make any man cry upon climax. Maybe she's been dead for years and they just embalmed her to cover it all up?

[Image via STYLE.COM]

THE POOR MAN'S ANNA WINTOUR

We've always believed that Carine Roitfield is to fashion what Britney Spears is to music...completely pointless. The former editor-in-chief of French Vogue was papped at a recent charity event in NYC and looked like an extra from Planet Of The Apes to say the least. Next month is a biggie for the dirty Parisian import because she's set to release the very first issue of her new magazine simply called CR Fashion Book. Wow, we simply can't get over how inspirational the name sounds. Even though it's biannual we'll give it 5 issues tops, cause let's face it Anna Wintour will squash this shit like a fly.

[Image via GETTY]

WHO IS THIS BITCH TRYING TO KID?

Oh ain't Alexa Chung just the picture of health! Now the only thing that pisses us off more than a wannabe fashion icon, is one who actually believes they're relevant. The triple size zero "model" (dickhead) was papped walking the streets of NYC recently with what appeared to be a packet of Cheetos and a can of Coke in her hand. Erm sorry but is this bitch having a laugh? If it's weight is anything to go by then the only coke this thing has seen is the type that you keep on a CD case. Oh and holding a packet of chips is like calling us all fucking idiots. Did we mention that we're not really a fan?

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

DOES THIS BITCH LIVE ON A FUCKING DRIP?

Doesn't the lovely Alexa Chung just look like the picture of health? The overrated waste of space and "fashion icon" was seen at the launch of some shitty product in NYC recently and we're pretty sure we've seen 3 year old kids with larger legs. We'd love to know when she last ate a proper meal, cause according to sources she apparently avoids brushing her teeth as toothpaste contains too many calories. This all leads us to believe that maybe she was abused as a child or some bullshit like that? We bet she was DYING to turn around and start munching on the greenery behind her.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

DOES MOSSY HAVE AN UGLY TWIN?

Without the use of Photoshop "models" like Kate Moss would frankly have no career. The coke whore was snapped arriving at the airport in London recently and it looked fucking DOG rough. Can you even believe that she's capable of looking like the photo on the left without FUCK loads of retouching? It's like she has a head transplant for every print ad she does, cause there ain't no way in hell Mossy can scrub up this well compared to her unfortunate reality. Rank skin, flat hair, crooked teeth and wrinkles galore doesn't really make us think of a supermodel.

[Image via DAVID YURMAN/REX FEATURES]

SHE HASN'T CHANGED A BIT HAS SHE?

Wow. Victoria Beckham really is insulting the world's intelligence when she continually insists that her rack is natural. You only have to look at the above to see that both her figure and tits are practically identical. Let's be real though cause this is another case of what we like to call ACS (Alexa Chung syndrome) aka a fucked up level of denial. Now don't get it twisted, Posh wasn't a fat cunt when she was younger, but she sure as hell weren't no size zero. Oh and if you think you can have tits like that after 4 kids and still be able to fit into kids clothes, you're a really bad liar and a fucking idiot.

[Image via GETTY/REX FEATURES]

THE DEVIL WEARS FUR ENNIT

It took us a while to realize that it wasn't just the windy weather that was raping Anna Wintour, but she'd also been cream pied (not the dirty kind) by PETA protesters in Paris over the weekend. According to sources, the fur loving Vogue editor freaked out and yelled "No, too many calories!" as she wiped the Cool Whip off her face. The poor bitch looked like she'd been cummed on as she was snapped making a STUNNING facial expression. We really wanna chuck her a (fashionable) bale of hay to nosh on.

[Image via REX FEATURES]

TOO MUCH OF NOTHING = SIZE ZERO

Poor old Vicky B aka Victoria Beckham is looking proper tired these days ennit. The mum of (we think it's around 5 sprogs now) was snapped looking VERY chubby at a recent event in NYC wearing a STUNNING dress. Now we gotta say that Mrs Beckham looks great most of the time, but this outfit was just a total mess. The "natural" tan, protruding collar bone (fucking rank) and oily skin looked a right state. On a more positive note, we hear that Posh is apparently dressing lots of stars for the Oscars. We can just picture it...baby Harper sucking silicone from one of her tits, while she sits at her sewing machine banging out couture till the wee hours of morning. Ah she's such an inspiration!

[Image via WIRE]