THE REAL LILY SURE AIN'T A PRETTY SIGHT

Lily Allen is apparently making a return to the spotlight cause for some reason she thinks she's relevant and interesting. The truth is obviously that her savings account is getting low and she wants more $$$ cause she's a fashion whore who lives beyond her means. Anyway the pop star (trying to not laugh) was snapped leaving a club the other night in London and the poor bird looked like a rough mom who needed some sleep. Also is anyone confused by the lyrics in her latest song Sheezus cause it would seem that she believes she's in the same league as some pretty big singers and it's just erm a little awkward cause she's Lily Allen?

[Image via XPOSURE]

YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA BE COCO CHANEL!

Liza Minnelli gets a lot of heat from us but if you look like this then you're bound to be our favorite hot mess. The campy singer was seen attending a charity event in NYC the other night and judging by the above snap she was trying to channel Coco Chanel and failed miserably as per usual. The dressy hat, curled sideburn, fake beauty mark and excess pearls screamed drag queen and as usual the deluded star thought she'd looked a million dollars. You've gotta love hot mess fag hag who thinks she's the shit though!

[Image via GETTY]

DAMN IT LIZA YOU WERE SO CLOSE THIS TIME!

Okay y'all know that we LOVE us some Liza Minnelli but at the Oscars on Sunday the campy singer rocked up wearing a blue ensemble (notice the blue hair steak too) and yet again slightly missed the mark. While we can't deny her hair and make-up looked damn fine for a old broad who's close to 70, the fact that she forgot to wear a bra which showed off her massive erect nipple kinda ruined the moment and made onlookers gag. We also can't deal with the shoes cause they make her look like she's got a dodgy club foot. Anyway we totes thought Liza brought her A game, but as always the humor crept in again cause we just can't take her seriously.

[Image via AP]

WTF IS GOING ON WITH MISS SPEARS Y'ALL?

Before we start the hate we wanna say that we do genuinely like Britney Spears cause even though the bitch ain't talented, she's always been a grafter and had that likable appeal. The pop star was papped grabbing lunch in Las Vegas recently during rehearsals for her new show and as always something just looked off about her. Britters looks so much older than her 32 years and lately looks like a barmaid in her 40s who's had too much cock. Furthermore the accelerated aging process that she seems to be enduring won't do her career any favors, but let's face it that's headed for the toilet anyway. On a more positive note at least she's having salad and juice for lunch and not a fucking Frappuccino.

[Image via BROAD]

100 BUCKS SAYS THIS THING TUCKS IT...

Okay so we've never really gotten the deal with Ellie Goulding and why people like her so much cause her voice sounds like a child with a sore throat who's trying to hit different notes but failing. The erm singer was seen leaving a studio in London last week and minus the fuck off huge cock hanging between her legs (we totes didn't add that), she was once again sporting that nasty jawline. We at The Sizzling Mess like our women to resemble women and we've never been overly keen on a bird with a strong jaw if we're honest. It don't even have hips, has chunky calves and those guns seem quite well defined so we're just saying we'd like to be a tile on her shower wall to see the truth. What do you all think besides the fact that we're evil cunts?

[Image via SPLASH]

IF SHE CAN MAKE IT THERE...ANYONE CAN!

Liza Minnelli really does prove that even the most butters bitch on the planet can achieve worldwide fame and even though you may be laughed at for being so hilariously campish and ugly, who gives a fuck when you're worth in excess of $50 million right? The iconic fag hag was snapped performing in her best at a charity event in NYC the other day and the poor thing looked like a tranny clown with a gammy eye to say the least. Now we get that dressing like you're from the 60s can be cool if you're young, hip and cute, but when you're an munter who limps cause you've got a dodgy hip...it ain't so great. On the other hand we love us some Liza cause the bitch is totes cray!

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

THIS SHIT TOTES MAKES US WANNA ROAR!

Another day another flattering pic of Katy Perry without make-up for us all. The singer (if you can even call it that) was papped getting her nails did in LA this week and boy did she look rough (and slightly special needs) sans slap. When this bird is made up don't get us wrong she looks nice, but she couldn't get anymore average when she puts the make-up brush down cause this is one Plain Jane right here. On top of that everyone knows her career is fluff and let's face it she ain't ever gonna win a Grammy cause the academy ain't deaf. Anyway rant over...happy weekend!

[Image via X17]

THE CAST OF 'FRAGGLE ROCK' TOUCH DOWN

Poor old Liza Minnelli never really stood a chance in life with that face, but despite looking like the back end of a bus she went on to have a successful singing career (beyond us) and star in campy musicals. Now obviously having Judy Garland as your mom doesn't hurt and we're pretty sure that the poor woman would turn in her grave if could hear how this bitch knocks out a tune. To be honest a cat getting gang raped with Parkinson's disease comes to mind. Even the butters tranny Tubbs from TV show The League Of Gentleman does a better job as passing off as a chick...pretty embarrassing ennit. Do you think Liza farted too cause that airport worker looks as though she's sniffed something that's making her gag?

[Image via NPG]

WHO KNEW ANNIE WAS A BLACK TRANNY?

Oh dear Rihanna we sure ain't feeling this look! The singer who shits out singles like hotcakes decided to ditch her trusted weave and show off her natural locks and to be honest we get why she hides her real hair now. The poor bitch looked like a cross between between a tranny version of Annie and a ghetto rag doll. What the hell with it debut next huh?

[Image via TWITTER]

THIS SHIT HAS TOTES GIVEN US THE FEAR!

It's no one wonder Lily Allen's career has gone down the toilet, cause it looks like the bitch has fucking eaten it along with tons of other shit. The crappy singer was papped walking (struggling too bless her) at the recent Glastonbury festival and we reckon she'd have faired better in a wheelchair. We know she's always been a bit on the porky side and had dumpy legs, but she clearly took "eating for two" way too literally. Don't fool us with those shoes either cause the only running you do is to the fridge and back.

[Image via BARCROFT]

SHE WAS BORN TO MAKE Y'ALL CRINGE!

Uh huh, we're thinking the same thing as you guys. How did Britney Spears fall from grace and become such a fucking hot mess? Now that Xtina is getting her weight issues together it seems Britters has once again fallen off the diet wagon and while it ain't fat she sure as hell ain't as hot compared to her early days. The pop star was snapped rehearsing an upcoming special performance to promote the new Smurfs 2 movie which she recorded a shit song for and her outfit was tacky as fuck. Can someone please tell us why the stylist thought it would be a good idea to put her her in a bra, denim mini-skirt and white patent leather boots? This look just screams cheap hooker and lady is too old and chubby to pull it off anymore.

[Image via TMZ]

BABY YOU AIN'T NO FIREWORK IN THIS

For some reason Katy Perry can either look shit hot or truly butters and unfortunately she's hit the latter with this look. The singer (if lip syncing counts) was seen at an art exhibition in NYC recently and it looked more like a tranny gypsy than international pop star. The heinous dress, shoes and hair contribute to the overall nasty Romany look and it ain't a winner.

[Image via SPLASH]

JUDY WILL BE TURNING IN HER GRAVE

It must be pretty darn awkward when you're the daughter of Hollywood royalty and look butters, but good old Liza Minnelli braved the negativity when it stepped out for an event in NYC recently. The fugly gay icon was papped walking the red carpet and it looked like a fuck off nasty tranny if you ask us. Someone needs to tell this thing that surgery ain't gonna help her mug cause you can't alter genes when you look this fucked that's for sure. Jesus this evil looking thing didn't have a chance since birth.

[Image via WIRE]