GUESS JEN REALLY NEEDS THE SLAP THEN!

We really don't know what's been going on with Jennifer Aniston and her fuck off bloated face and mannish appearance lately, but bitch finally looked hot the other day after 3 hours in the hair and make-up chair! The actress (laughable really) was seen en route to an interview in NYC the other day complete with her usual blown out mane and mini dress look and we definitely get why she sticks to this now cause it works like a cunt. Show off your pins, push up your tits, make sure your hair covers that strong jaw and pray your balls don't fall out girlfriend.

[Image via WIRE/FLYNET]

WHO KNEW ANNIE WAS A BLACK TRANNY?

Oh dear Rihanna we sure ain't feeling this look! The singer who shits out singles like hotcakes decided to ditch her trusted weave and show off her natural locks and to be honest we get why she hides her real hair now. The poor bitch looked like a cross between between a tranny version of Annie and a ghetto rag doll. What the hell with it debut next huh?

[Image via TWITTER]

OMGEEE CHRISTINA, IS THAT ACTUALLY YOU?

Holy shit is literally all we thought after seeing the above snap of Christina Aguilera and can you blame us? We loved to hate on Xtina when she was a flubber but it seems this flower has bloomed and decided it don't wanna be obese no more, cause lady SHUT IT DOWN over the weekend. The songstress was seen on promotional duties at an NBC gala on Saturday for the new season of The Voice and not only did she look totes amaze balls, but he body was OOC! Even though she was rocking her usual trailer trash look, bitch worked it as she looked like a hot teenage slut who didn't make the cast of The Hills. You can finally see your feet again...go Xtina!

[Image via JUST JARED]

LIFE IS A BUTTERS CABARET DARLING!

Liza Minnelli has got one of those faces that just doesn't look good period. It don't matter if you slap it up with 3 inches of warpaint or go bare, it's gonna look rough as fucking shite. The legendary fag hag was snapped leaving an NYC eatery during the week and according to sources a couple paparazzi photographers screamed and fainted in shock. Maybe if she lost the rank eyebrows, stopped with the surgery, changed that fucking dyke mullet hair and got her teeth whitened, we could be persuaded to write something nice. Surely she knows our approval means more than winning a Tony award?

[Image via FLYNET]

AS IF THIS THING WASN'T FUGLY ENOUGH HUH?

We'd love to see inside the mind of Pete Burns for just 5 minutes cause we're guessing we'd either "get it" or be completely disgusted. All we ever think of when looking at him is "WTF is it?!" but we're just gonna give in and go with weird fuck off shemale. The former singer from Dead or Alive can be seen being interviewed for a new TV special and boy does it look fucking weird. He kinda looks like a reject Shakespears Sister member with a dick or one ugly mermaid. How the fuck does he eat with those lips and wipe his asshole with those creepy ass nails?

[Image via CHANNEL 5]

BEING MURDERED IS BETTER THAN THIS!

Seriously what the fuck happened here love? Angela Lansbury is the LEGENDARY fierce bitch who portrays weird talking detective Jessica Fletcher in the classic TV show Murder, She Wrote but lady weren't looking so fierce the other night. The talented OAP was papped walking the red carpet at some charity event in NYC and although bitch is nearly 90, which is why we'll ignore those fuck off wrinkles, her make-up artist clearly wanted to show her up that night. What could of been an opportunity look shit hot turned into a disaster and Angie ended up looking like a clown in drag. Who knew Mrs. Potts could've been a dude?

[Image via GETTY]

HELEN WOULDN'T LEAVE HER GAFF LIKE THIS

It's amazing what a bit of a slap and a blowdryer can do for ya looks and it seems that Rose Byrne is living proof that you can go from butters to pretty for a movie role. The actress from Bridesmaids was papped getting groceries from her local market in LA and lady looked rough as arse holes to say the the least. Now it could just be a genuinely shite photo but whatever the case bitch don't look hot with that mong face. Just sayin'.

[Image via UNIVERSAL/PACIFIC COAST]

MORE LIKE JENNIFER MANISTON RIGHT GUYS?

Okay so we've never really understood the fascination with Jennifer Aniston cause let's face it; she's an average actress who got lucky at best and while she can sometimes look cute we've never been a fan of a woman with a strong jaw. The former FRIENDS star was seen filming a new movie in NYC over the weekend and sported a wig that made onlookers do a double take cause lady resembled a full on dude in drag. The only thing missing from this clownish look was a five o'clock shadow, but at least we know that Jen can't pull off every hairstyle out there. Did you clock her fuck off massive engagement ring too? Must be nice to have lots of money ennit.

[Image via SPLASH]

WHAT'S MRS O DONE TO HER FACE Y'ALL?

It may come as a shock but we actually used to think Sharon Osbourne was one hot sexy mama for her age, but what the fuck has the bitch done to her face? The wife of The Prince Of Darkness aka rich cross dresser was seen hanging backstage with Jennifer Aniston at a recent awards show and lady looked like she'd been filled with air. Jen looked like her usual Plain Jane self but poor Shazza's face stood out like a sore bloated thumb. In fact the cutest thing in this pic is clearly the dog and for once we're actually talking about an animal.

[Image via TWITTER]

HOW DID THIS THING SHIT OUT BUFFY?

We know it's kinda low to hate on people's parents, but when they look this bad and are related to hot sluts it's pretty much impossible for us not to. Anyway can you believe that this is Sarah Michelle Gellar's mom Rosselen cause we sure as hell can't!  We can kinda tell a little in the face cause she's got the same mousy features but FUCK it's scary and rough looking. We're liking her Prada bag and Rolex that her daughter's earnings afforded though.

[Image via PACIFIC COAST]

WOULD MONICA STILL WANNA MARRY THIS?

Chandler what the fuck happened? Matthew Perry from TV show FRIENDS was seen on vacay with his bird recently and boy did he look different. He was never super hot or anything but boy he certainly looked old and rough whilst waiting to see if a jet ski could hold his mammoth weight. Get on the dermal fillers like Courteney Cox and you'll better in no time.

[Image via BIG PICTURE]

KEL'S VERY LUCKY HER DAD IS FAMOUS...

Bless her! This thing wouldn't have had much of a chance in the fashion industry (let alone any) if her daddy wasn't Ozzy. Does anyone dare argue with us? Sorry but if you're gonna judge our appearance and what we're wearing then you better not be fucking Kelly Osbourne of all tubby people. We don't know what's going on with this fuck off beehive hair style, orange tan and double chin but this bitch ain't chic or fashionable. Such a joke that E! even thought of this to co-host Fashion Police. Can you say family connections much?

[Image via GETTY]

ARE YOU IN THERE SOMEWHERE XTINA?

Okay so we know we're showing Xtina major love at the moment but talk about wowza! Bitch wasn't messing around during a recent photo call to promote the new season of The Voice and we're kinda shocked to be honest cause we never actually thought she'd put down the fries. Christina Aguilera was papped walking the red carpet with her fellow judges to announce the new season which kicks off in September and lady literally looked like a shadow of her former self. We can't get over those razor sharp cheekbones and that itty bitty waist. Seriously stay on the diet cause it's paying off Xtina. We are however slightly concerned that she's only 5'1'' yet Cee Lo Green (who's a man) doesn't seem that much taller.

[Image via NBC]

DOES LILO LIVE NEAR A BEE FARM PERHAPS?

Oh honey, what have you done to yourself now? On top of the fact that Lindsay Lohan has got another new (and shit) movie coming out, bitch ain't looking too hot in the newly released trailer. The actress is seen in her new flick The Canyons opposite porn star James Deen (no joke) and she literally looks like she's about 38 as opposed to 20 fucking 5. We just can't deal with the trout pout, bloated face and double chin any longer, cause this bitch needs to get outta rehab pronto and get her shit together.

[Image via IFC]

THIS SHIT HAS TOTES GIVEN US THE FEAR!

It's no one wonder Lily Allen's career has gone down the toilet, cause it looks like the bitch has fucking eaten it along with tons of other shit. The crappy singer was papped walking (struggling too bless her) at the recent Glastonbury festival and we reckon she'd have faired better in a wheelchair. We know she's always been a bit on the porky side and had dumpy legs, but she clearly took "eating for two" way too literally. Don't fool us with those shoes either cause the only running you do is to the fridge and back.

[Image via BARCROFT]

WHEN REUNIONS GO TERRIBLY WRONG

Now we always thought that it was a mandatory rule to look shit hot when you attend a reunion, but we guess if you're Mara Wilson you either don't go or prepare yourself for the shit throwing. We won't hate on her too much cause we loved her and Amanda Thripp (on the left) in Matilda, but fuck they look like a right pair of frigid virgin losers. Even the thing in the middle ain't a looker, but Mara wins down with that fuck off mouth. Love you Mara!

[Image via MARA WILSON]

AIN'T THIS BITCH THE EPITOME OF CLASS?

The world knows the above woman simply as "tanning mom" aka Patricia Krentcil, however all we see is a tired old slapper who sucks cock to pay the lecky bill. We don't even get how this skank gets invited to events, but lady put on her best clobber (cheap shite) and worked the red carpet looking like the corpse version of Pam Anderson with the clap. Didn't she think to look in the mirror before she leaves her gaff too? Body-con dresses just don't work when you've got saggy tits and a muffin top and we gotta say that ankle tatt finishes off this look to perfection. Wouldn't you be proud if this was your mom?

[Image via GETTY]

EVEN VAMPIRES CAN'T ESCAPE AGING...

You know there's no God when even the beloved Spike from Buffy ages so badly he looks like a coke addict living in welfare. James Marsters has struggled to find a job since leaving the popular TV show, but was recently snapped at his local market in LA and let's just say he's looked better. Word on the street is that he was left so embarrassed when he was unable to pay for his goods (due to maybe an expensive addiction) that he offered to act out a scene from Buffy as a method of payment. That was of course a complete lie, but didn't it give you a fun image?

Image via WARNER BROS/FLYNET]